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Chris Amirault

Really, Really Bad Cocktail Names

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I just saw an ad for -- I'm not joking -- sweet tea vodka, heading for a likker store shelf near you. In the ad, some flak offered a recipe. Instead of saying the obvious ("Perfect for those workaday mornings when your iced tea isn't quite enough"), they invented a Mojito riff called, that's right, the Moteato.

Perhaps you never thought you'd see the word "teat" buried in a drink name but have similarly appalling names to share. I admit I'm speechless.


Chris Amirault

camirault@eGstaff.org

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

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The Nojito - made with Red Bull in place of rum. Nice.

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I don't even know if this drink exists, but it's the name I've coined for the prototypical bullcrap "Asian fusian" cocktail: The Shisohito


--

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Worst part is that there are at least two different 'sweet tea' vodkas on the market that I know of. When samples were brought for us to try the main selling point was that it didnt even taste like alcohol! Oh boy!


Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

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Worst part is that there are at least two different 'sweet tea' vodkas on the market . . .

And I thought Three Olives was scraping the bottom of the barrel with root beer flavored vodka. Who drinks this stuff? :blink:

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On the original topic, I always cringe slightly when I see a Tequila Mockingbird.


True rye and true bourbon wake delight like any great wine...dignify man as possessing a palate that responds to them and ennoble his soul as shimmering with the response.

DeVoto, The Hour

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My vote goes to BLOODY BUTRUM. I mean who the hell thought this could possibly be an appetizing name for a cocktail? I don't care what's in it; I don't care whether it's good; I just don't want to know. icon8.gif


Mike

"The mixing of whiskey, bitters, and sugar represents a turning point, as decisive for American drinking habits as the discovery of three-point perspective was for Renaissance painting." -- William Grimes

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There are any number of 70s' drinks whose names are even worse than their ingredients -- Freddy Fudpucker, anyone?

(Actually, Gary Regan sez it's not as bad as it sounds, but with a name like that . . . . .)


"The thirst for water is a primitive one. Thirst for wine means culture, and thirst for a cocktail is its highest expression."

Pepe Carvalho, The Buenos Aires Quintet by Manuel Vazquez Montalban

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Any drink name referring to genitalia either male or female

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