Really, Really Bad Cocktail Names

[Chris Amirault]

I just saw an ad for -- I'm not joking -- sweet tea vodka, heading for a likker store shelf near you. In the ad, some flak offered a recipe. Instead of saying the obvious ("Perfect for those workaday mornings when your iced tea isn't quite enough"), they invented a Mojito riff called, that's right, the Moteato.

Perhaps you never thought you'd see the word "teat" buried in a drink name but have similarly appalling names to share. I admit I'm speechless.

[Chris Hennes]

I nominate nearly all variations on the word "Martini."

[Chris Amirault]

Oh, I bet you've had a few "Itsy Bitsy Teeni Weeni Martinis" in your time.

[Mattmvb]

The Nojito - made with Red Bull in place of rum. Nice.

[slkinsey]

I don't even know if this drink exists, but it's the name I've coined for the prototypical bullcrap "Asian fusian" cocktail: The Shisohito

[thirtyoneknots]

Worst part is that there are at least two different 'sweet tea' vodkas on the market that I know of. When samples were brought for us to try the main selling point was that it didnt even taste like alcohol! Oh boy!

[Deacon]

Worst part is that there are at least two different 'sweet tea' vodkas on the market . . .

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And I thought Three Olives was scraping the bottom of the barrel with root beer flavored vodka. Who drinks this stuff?

[Chris Amirault]

People who should call their drinks "Better Than Binaca."

[KD1191]

On the original topic, I always cringe slightly when I see a Tequila Mockingbird.

[brinza]

My vote goes to BLOODY BUTRUM. I mean who the hell thought this could possibly be an appetizing name for a cocktail? I don't care what's in it; I don't care whether it's good; I just don't want to know.

[jackal10]

Long slow comfortable screw against the wall

http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/4604

[Yojimbo]

There are any number of 70s' drinks whose names are even worse than their ingredients -- Freddy Fudpucker, anyone?

(Actually, Gary Regan sez it's not as bad as it sounds, but with a name like that . . . . .)

[Marmish]

Any drink name referring to genitalia either male or female