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You know you're a cook when........?


brandonscott
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Maybe I missed it, but haven't seen it mentioned about cutting and serving equal sized portions of desserts.

......there's enough portions for everyone!

I'm only a home cook, but even I know enough to do a head count before cutting the dessert .....not good when some guests don't get to enjoy the gooey goodies.

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Maybe I missed it, but haven't seen it mentioned about cutting and serving equal sized portions of desserts.

Most home cooks just wack away at the cake or pie with the serving spatula or a butter knife, resulting in un-even pieces with jagged edges.  I can't count the number of times I've seen some really beautiful looking desserts mutilated. I always designate myself as the official dessert cutter so the pieces stay looking pretty and there's enough portions for everyone!

My mother still gives me a hard time when I make things for the family- "THE FRUIT SALAD DOES NOT ALL HAVE TO BE THE EXACT SIZE!" LOL, yeah it does... ;)

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  • 1 month later...

My roommate is a claims adjuster for an insurance company and he talks about being "in the weeds." I don't think he got it from me. He says it's common jargon in the office.

I reply "heard" to just about everything. And sometimes I get strange looks at the grocery store when I "behind" someone.

Cheers,

Bradley

"'Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers."

Shakespeare

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  • 2 weeks later...

Im definitely guilty of most of these... saying "behind" and "corner" in stores, "oven", "open", "below", or "hot" at home. I say "oui" A LOT. I also never use other peoples equipment when I cook for/with them. People laugh when I pull out my own spoons from my knife roll. I just give them a blank stare saying "I have no idea why you're laughing?" "In the shits" and "86" are also in my daily vocab.

- Chef Johnny

John Maher
Executive Chef/Owner
The Rogue Gentlemen

Richmond, VA

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  • 1 month later...

Saying "Hot Behind" to my wife and getting the wink/nod.

Yelling at my wife for leaving knives in the F**king sink..."Keep the knives OUT OF THE SINK!!"..."but why can't you just look first?"..."BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW IT F**KING WORKS!!!!!!"

Yelling at anyone who covers things in wrap before they are cool and doesn't punch a hole/leave a corner open.."So you want to get everyone sick??" (rolly eyes from everyone else). Also, the raw over cooked thing.

Telling anyone in the area that the pan in the sink is hot. This is probably a good thing.

Trying to show my wife/anyone else how to hold the carrot/celery in place without endangering your thumb and forefinger.

Getting super impatient when I'm shopping with anyone else. I can't take the meandering walk, shopping like going to the storeroom should be a surgical strike. Get in, get out.

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I can't watch people cut things improperly. If they aren't holding a knife correctly, I need to make sure they fix it. Most people think this is well-intentioned but obnoxious. I have one friend who, no matter what, won't ever change the way she holds the knife (as far away from the blade as possible so that there is an inch of handle between the blade and her fingers--blades are sharp!) and I've taken to looking away whenever she cuts anything. I think I'm just scared because I don't want to witness her inevitable injury!

“Ruling a great state is like cooking a small fish.”

Those who favor leniency say [it means] “do not disturb it too much”; those who favor strictness say “give it salt and vinegar, that’s it.”

~Huainanzi, ch. 11

http://ladolcejenny.blogspot.com

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  • 5 months later...

you know you a chef when you burn yourself and dont worry about running it under cold water ... or when someone asks if you can get friday off and you just laugh at them.

"None, but people of strong passion are capable of rising to greatness."

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Oh, and I freak out if my husband sneaks up behind me to get affectionate and kiss the back of my neck while I'm chopping anything. I'm gonna lose a digit that way...

I hate it when one of my latin co-workers doe that!

Veni Vidi Vino - I came, I saw, I drank.
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Stacking things up at the end of the worktop and waiting for the porter to come and take it away... it just doesn't happen at home, does it?

I wish I could yell "sucio!" at home....would make home cooking much easier

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I always say 'behind' or 'watch behind' in public. I too get anxious while shopping with people at the supermarket...i essentially end up gathering everything in a few minutes. Great Peripheral vision is also something I gained from working a tight line and learning stations on the fly.

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