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Food Industry Fantasies


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Many times have I been impressed by the energy and talents of eGullet society members. People report here on all kinds of interesting food-related activities: cooking, traveling, writing, growing, collecting, researching, etc. My hat is off to those who get a venture off the ground, to anyone who's making a good go of it.

I'm not in the industry, but every once in a while I get these "crazy" ideas. They usually come after a long meeting with a misguided client, or as some absurd work deadline approaches. I begin to fantasize about starting my own subsistence farm, or maybe raising exotic rabbits for food and fur, or buying then converting an abandoned coal mine into a mushroom grow-op.

This morning I found myself coveting Bob Izumi's job as the host of a fishing show -- he caught an eleven pound largemouth bass -- in sunny Mexico!

Maybe there are a few more "crazy" ideas out there . . .

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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I want Martha-style cool chickens, the ones who lay blue and green eggs, and have blue and green ears. In fact, I'd be happy with low-rent chickens in my own Palais de Poulets, the chickies scrambling and pecking in the dirt and making me an Egg Empress.

And then there was the last recession, when I was young and hopeful, and we almost pulled off the Carrot Cake Caper.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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I got lots of crazy ideas.

Wherever I end up moving to, say Shanghai or just San Francisco, I want to bring with me a grillmaster from Central Texas and we'll start up an awesome barbecue restaurant and wipe out the competition.

Hire a bunch of cheap laborers and get my mother to teach them how to make Chinese dumplings. Then I'll sell them at the farmers market. Those would be way better than the frozen dumplings from Chinatown supermarket.

Have my own farm, like Martha Stewart. I'm a city person so I probably won't spend much time there. But I'll tell them to grow whatever I want to eat, and they'll deliver some to me and sell the rest at market. Also, I could spend relaxing weekends and have parties at the farm.

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Mine are daily....

Bring NYC pizza and bagels to small town Ontario, open a breakfast/lunch only cafe with everything homeade and huge portions, start some kind of lunchtime only delivery type gourmet sandwich business, host ( paid) dinners in my home.....

The list goes on and on. Then I remember how in the 6yrs that I've lived here every single restaurant that has opened is now out of business.

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I'd be happy with low-rent chickens in my own Palais de Poulets, the chickies scrambling and pecking in the dirt and making me an Egg Empress.

Think of the spin-offs! Your own line of macramé egg cozies in the style of elegant Rococo, showy Baroque or austere Romanesque.

ETA: an accent to macramé

Edited by Peter the eater (log)

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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Mine are daily....

Bring NYC pizza and bagels to small town Ontario, open a breakfast/lunch only cafe with everything homeade and huge portions, start some kind of lunchtime only delivery type gourmet sandwich business, host ( paid) dinners in my home.....

The list goes on and on.  Then I remember how in the 6yrs that I've lived here every single restaurant that has opened is now out of business.

That does sound ominous.

A small town or a rural community will often lack good restaurant, but they'll have great church supper every few months where everyone eats out the same day. Homemade and huge portions mighty work better in an urban community.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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Funnily enough, I just did a piece on this, because, well....I want to be an empanada lady and sell them on the streets!

I'm pretty sure if the economy ever truly dies and I can't find a job anymore, I'm taking up a basket and heading out to the street.

Sadly, I actually started to do the math and figured that I could actually make decent money and support myself selling like 100 to 150 empanadas a day.... Okay, I need to remember this is a fantasy and get back to doing my current job before I NEED to sell the empanadas to survive...

http://www.accidentalhedonist.com/index.ph...1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1

Edited by Sabrosita (log)

Gnomey

The GastroGnome

(The adventures of a Gnome who does not sit idly on the front lawn of culinary cottages)

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My primary one was charcuterie.  My current one is cheesemaking (there's a lack of it in Georgia and in the south).

Interesting how similar both of those activities really are -- preserving fresh proteins and fats.

I always go to the sausage and cheese guys at a new farmers' market. Usually there's nothing out of the ordinary to sample, but every once in a while you get a taste of artisan magic.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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Salmon sausages.

Available in Seattle.

Cool. Are they any good?

I got all worked up after making a tasty batch at home using collagen casings, farmed Atlantic salmon and lots of dill. Then I learned about a local fish link enterprise that folded before it really got going. The other guy's were pretty good -- small and spicy but with an unfortunate color, sold frozen.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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CRAZY idea? Well, deep into a bottle of Glenlivet 1969, a good friend of mine and I designed a restaurant in a circle, with a ring of trampoline running around the edge, out about 10 feet into the floor. Ceilings approx 20 feet high. Walls covered, the entire circumference to the ceilings, with wine storage. All wait staff are midgets (or, alternatively, not, but those of very short stature are used when....) you order a bottle of wine, they run, jump, hit the trampoline, and launch through the air, fetching your wine, and running ti back to the table. Include a bit of a high-end circus (de soleil?) theme. Why do the launched individuals need to be midgets? i don't know. just seems to fit with the idiocy.

Anyway, we sobered up, had a good laugh at our idea, and have spoken of it rarely since.

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  • 2 weeks later...
CRAZY idea?  Well, deep into a bottle of Glenlivet 1969, a good friend of mine and I designed a restaurant in a circle, with a ring of trampoline running around the edge, out about 10 feet into the floor.  Ceilings approx 20 feet high.  Walls covered, the entire circumference to the ceilings, with wine storage.  All wait staff are midgets (or, alternatively, not, but those of very short stature are used when....) you order a bottle of wine, they run, jump, hit the trampoline, and launch through the air, fetching your wine, and running ti back to the table.  Include a bit of a high-end circus (de soleil?) theme.  Why do the launched individuals need to be midgets?  i don't know.  just seems to fit with the idiocy.

Anyway, we sobered up, had a good laugh at our idea, and have spoken of it rarely since.

after reading this, an employee was at a bar, sees a midget and the only thing he could think of was a trampoline. Definately a fantasy but damn would it be cool.

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Glenlivet 1969

I missed that detail the first time round -- circular trampoline restaurant is unorthodox, but if you're drinking the good stuff, anything's possible.

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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  • 7 months later...

I had a dream where I was selling $10 gourmet franks on the street, and the sign on my cart read "The Dogfather".

Peter Gamble aka "Peter the eater"

I just made a cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. . .

Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with spam? . . .

Would you believe a rat filled with cough drops?

Moe Sizlack

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A farmhouse brewery with a fancy restaurant has always been my dream. My dreams when I sleep, however, often involve me finding new and strange beers at the store. The strangest was a maple lambic that was aged at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean and then sold in amphorae-like jugs. I think it was only like ten bucks, too.

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