Do You Say Something Or Not?

[Tess]

This sounds an awful lot like a conversation among teachers. You do something that's a labor of love, you work long hours and then have to listen to people comment knowingly about how you get "summers off." There's no exact equivalent of shorting on tips, but you do have people who believe you are their personal servant. They figure they pay tuition or, if it's a public school, they pay your salary in taxes, so they can waste as much of your time as they want. The whole thing leads to a similar feeling of being underpaid and underappreciated by people who don't know what the job really involves. I guess it's a reality of economics: we need people doing these jobs, but are only willing to pay X amount for them, and somehow they are always filled.

Anyway, I don't think we're ever going to educate the public, at least not enough to solve the problem of poor tipping. It's always going to be a problem with some percentage of people. It does seem like it should get better with the phenomena of Food Network and celebrity chefs, but I don't really trust that kind of thing.

[Busboy]

Katie, don't take this the wrong way, but it is sort of nice to hear the truth about what a server actually makes and that it is not necessarily all that much.  What I mean is, I think so much animosity forms between the front & back due to the type of server who brags about pocketing $200 after a six hour shift, while the cooks have been sweating their nuts off since they came in at 2 and still have a  couple more hours of cleanup to go, and will make about half that much. 

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Boy, I never worked at a place -- from saloon to formal French -- where the wait staff didn't work clearing tables, serving coffee, fetching drinks until long after the cooks had gone home, one by one, as the last orders passed from salad to dessert (or, in the saloons, the last bacon cheeseburger went out). There also those slow shifts designed entirely to have the waiters come in and make $20 in tips while cleaning the glass and mirrors, scrubbing the bar coolers, spritzing the chairs etc. Better to have the waiters clean up at $2.85 than have to pay a dishwasher actual minimum wage.

Also, I think (with Katie) part of this argument is based on an inflated sense of what servers make. Certainly the relative handful of servers working in the relative handful of high-end, expensive places around the country do very well. But I'd wager that the majority of servers in America (and leaving out diner waitresses and bartenders and beer-and-a-shot roadhouses who'd skew the sample) average less than $125 a shift take-home (and god help you if you pull a lunch shift) and have no paid vacation, sick leave, benefits or health care.

Finally, more to the point, not get all Wobbly or anything but it pains me to hear the FOH and BOH get into these arguments because, in truth, you're all in the same boat and a little bit of solidarity is not what is needed, rather than allow management to arouse class resentment, divide and conquer. Even the twinkie whose only talent is her tits is not the enemy, it's a system which fails to recognize, promote and back others with more appropriate skills who is to blame.

Lte's see some red armbands out there! I suggest a grand conclave this May Day will all factions coming to the table to hammer out a reasonable platform including a service charge-based system, seniority rights, apprenticeships designed to weed out the twinkies (or at least) bring them up to a level of competence) before they deviate their septums and/or sleep with a manager, and having Jackal10's visa revoked.

Remember: hip restaurant patrons are disproportionately leftists: we can do for restaurant workers what we did for the Patagonian Toothfish!

Edited February 12, 2009 by Busboy (log)

[jackal10]

The basic problem is there is not enough money to go round, no matter how its divided, and even less in these hard times.

To elaborate on the example above: 40 covers, 50% occupancy average spend $30, 2 sittings open say 300 days/year

Income (excl tips): 40*2*30*300/2 = 360K per annum

Food and beverage costs: say 30% = 108K

Overheads (heat, light, rent, insurance, breakages, linen, advertising, printing etc) 30% = 108K

Wages: say 10 hour shift x 300 days

BoH say 2 chefs @$16 and a porter @$8 : 120K

FOH say 2 @ $2.83 = 17K

Total costs _ 108+108+120+17 = 353K, or a loss of 3K

This does not include any costs for management, interest on bank loans or financing etc. The restaurant is operating at slightly below breakeven.

It can't last without reducing costs or getting more people in. They can't afford to pay the staff more, and if they put up the prices to cover increased wages even fewer people will come. The customers are feeling poor as well, so eating out less and giving minimum tips are one of the easiest places to economise.

In these tough times its only places where the costs are sunk, so no borrowing or rent that will survive, for example established family places in freehold property, otherwise the fixed costs will kill them when fewer customers come through the door. OF course there will be a few exceptions where there is a niche market or fashion that fills the place, but they will be rare.

It will get tougher yet...most serious predictions I see (and I do this professionally) say its a 4 year slump, with a peak to trough of 50% in say the value of your house or of the stockmarket. That says we have another 1-2 years to go before signs of recovery, and then recovery will be slow. This is assuming no disasters or civil unrest. There are more pessimistic predictions as well.

Edited February 12, 2009 by jackal10 (log)

[KatieLoeb]

Busboy, you're my hero! I love the idea of some sort of nationwide protest, but the fact remains that the tax paying business owners are going to get the lawmakers ear and attention, and the poorly paid and undertipped service staff will not. Until our Federal government literally goes Socialist I just don't see that changing in my state, or anywhere else they can get away with it. It's still legislated on a state by state basis. Unless President Obama decides to have a sit down with a panel of waiters and bartenders I'm not seeing it. And I think the tipping system is a lot lower on the priority list than CEO salary caps, etc.

pastrygirl, the guys in the kitchen where I work are either salaried or hourly and work many more hours per week than I do. And their checks aren't effected by how busy we are or how folks are tipping. It's not adversarial, it just is what it is. But cutting a shift so as to not pay an employee that actually brings folks in the door overtime at $4.24/hour rather than sending a guy home early in the back strikes me as an "interesting" choice at best. But I'm not the GM or things would be quite different...

[tino27]

Sometimes in life, it's all about the order in which things happen.

Step 1: Read this thread.

Step 2: Look at the Linux kernel website (kernel.org) and discover that there is a new Linux kernel.

Step 3: Decide to read what bugs got fixed in order to determine whether to build the new kernel.

Step 4: Discover the name of the bug - "wait: prevent exclusive waiter starvation" on the 3rd bug from the bottom of the changelog page

Step 5: Profit! (Sorry, bad SouthPark pun in there)

OK, so maybe only me in my geekitude finds that oddly amusing.

But to finally weigh in on this topic (so that I actually manage to stay on topic), the only two possible questions I can see asking a guest who leaves a poor tip are:

1) Was everything to your liking?

If the response is "Yes", then that's all you can say. I suppose in a perfect world you could use that opportunity to educate someone. In the world we live in, however, bringing up the customer's tipping inadequacies only goes to show the customer that they were naive at best, and lying/ignorant/indifferent at worst.

And if the response to that is "No", the follow-up question:

2) What can we do to improve your experience?

I feel like #2 is a loaded question because there are a lot of people who would offer genuine advice (I know I have). Unfortunately, there are a lot of other people who would use that opportunity to get something comp'd off the check.

As with most things in life, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Edited February 13, 2009 by tino27 (log)

[pastrygirl]

Katie, don't take this the wrong way, but it is sort of nice to hear the truth about what a server actually makes and that it is not necessarily all that much.  What I mean is, I think so much animosity forms between the front & back due to the type of server who brags about pocketing $200 after a six hour shift, while the cooks have been sweating their nuts off since they came in at 2 and still have a  couple more hours of cleanup to go, and will make about half that much. 

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Boy, I never worked at a place -- from saloon to formal French -- where the wait staff didn't work clearing tables, serving coffee, fetching drinks until long after the cooks had gone home, one by one, as the last orders passed from salad to dessert (or, in the saloons, the last bacon cheeseburger went out). There also those slow shifts designed entirely to have the waiters come in and make $20 in tips while cleaning the glass and mirrors, scrubbing the bar coolers, spritzing the chairs etc. Better to have the waiters clean up at $2.85 than have to pay a dishwasher actual minimum wage.

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I worked at one place where the servers came in in staggered shifts, so the opener who comes in at 4 does the opening sidework, gets the early tables and leaves at maybe 10, the closer comes in at 6, probably stays until midnight doing closing sidework. All of the servers there seemed pretty happy, check average was around $45 and we were busy, 90 seats and my last year there we didn't do less than 100 covers for months on end, usually 150+ on Fri/Sat. My first restaurant job was two blocks away from an arena, and we would get swamped for the two or three hours before professional basketball games. Not a normal situation to be sure, but that was where servers would come in at 4, make a wad of cash, and be out early. Oddly, I think that was also the only place where some of the servers had day jobs.

Isn't part of the tips-as-wages deal that the restaurant is responsible for making up the difference between you $2.85 an hour and minimum wage if you don't get the tips? So they are counting on you making just enough in tips to make minimum while you clean? Yeah, that's shifty.

[pastrygirl]

pastrygirl, the guys in the kitchen where I work are either salaried or hourly and work many more hours per week than I do.  And their checks aren't effected by how busy we are or how folks are tipping.  It's not adversarial, it just is what it is.  But cutting a shift so as to not pay an employee that actually brings folks in the door overtime at $4.24/hour rather than sending a guy home early in the back strikes me as an "interesting" choice at best.  But I'm not the GM or things would be quite different...

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If you're hourly and you go home early due to no business, it doesn't matter what side of the pass you're on. Not sending cooks home but cutting servers instead is just an oddity of your GM, and I agree that it doesn't make sense.

Although from your earlier post on a good night vs a bad night, it does seem that you are not appropriately rewarded for your efforts, I have a hard time with people who seem to want a full time income from part time work. Sure, if you were promised 32 hours and you got cut a shift and only worked 25, and the tips were lousy to boot, that's really going to suck. But the usually less than 40 hours a week is another of the trade-offs, and what makes serving attractive to students and the stereotypical starving artist/actor, or a good second job for people who are particularly ambitious.

The trade-off I'm making right now was to leave my home, friends, family, and a good job when they were about to open a 2nd restaurant (could've meant a nice raise) to come and live in fucking Bhutan so I could save more money so I can either hope to retire in 30 years or maybe be an investor in my own place someday. The retirement plan of 'marry up' that one chef suggested doesn't seem to be happening. This can be a really hard place to live in myriad ways, but it does make you realize how little you need to survive, how little these people need to be happy. The per capita income is around $2000 and the King's mantra of Gross National Happiness (instead of GN Product) is for real, these people are poor rice farmers with nothing, but are very happy. Admittedly, I prefer and enjoy indoor plumbing and hot water, and I know that trying to live on less than about $25k in a US city is truly a struggle. Money sure comes in handy, but it is not everything, and if it is important to you to have more, sometimes taking a huge risk and doing something way outside of what you know can pay off. Sorry, we already have an F&B manager, but I'd be happy to forward your resume to corporate headquarters in Singapore.

[Batard]

... I know that trying to live on less than about $25k in a US city is truly a struggle.

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The cost of living in Philly certainly is not typical of most US cities. Overall, it costs more to live in Philly than it does in cities like Miami, Seattle, or Chicago. Salaries should be based on that particular city's cost of living.

I personally find jackal10's math simplistic to the point of being meaningless. It doesn't consider anything other than raw compensation and some very loose play with numbers. It's the type of mathematics GM's use to justify crappy salaries and poor treatment.

Edited February 13, 2009 by Batard (log)

[tsquare]

... I know that trying to live on less than about $25k in a US city is truly a struggle.

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The cost of living in Philly certainly is not typical of most US cities. Overall, it costs more to live in Philly than it does in cities like Miami, Seattle, or Chicago.

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Are you serious? I can't imagine the cost of living being more in Philly than Seattle or Chicago or Miami. Philly and Seattle might be comparable, depending on location. I know this is off topic, but where are you getting your info?

[Batard]

Are you serious? I can't imagine the cost of living being more in Philly than Seattle or Chicago or Miami. Philly and Seattle might be comparable, depending on location. I know this is off topic, but where are you getting your info?

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I'm actually the one who dragged this thread off topic, sorry. I was referring to the information shown on this chart. Keep in mind that this site is trying to lure people into the Philadelphia area, so if anything they would want to underestimate the cost of living. The ACCRA estimates come from this organization, and are for 2008 3Q.

Of course, it would probably be easy to find a chart that showed different costs of living in different cities that vary slightly from ACCRA. But the point is that living in Philly ain't cheap. If it's not in the top five, it's certainly in the top ten, so it's really not your typical US city.

Edited February 13, 2009 by Batard (log)

[pastrygirl]

Are you serious? I can't imagine the cost of living being more in Philly than Seattle or Chicago or Miami. Philly and Seattle might be comparable, depending on location. I know this is off topic, but where are you getting your info?

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I was referring to the information shown on this chart. Keep in mind that this site is trying to lure people into the Philadelphia area, so if anything they would want to underestimate the cost of living. Of course, it would probably be easy to find a different chart that showed something completely different. The ACCRA estimates come from this organization, and are for 2008 3Q.

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Two places I've lived and worked - a studio apartment in Seattle costs around $700-$900, depending on the age & location of the building (my last apt (2 yrs ago) was $635 in a convenient for me but not super hip location). A one bedroom is around $800-$1000. A line cook with a few years of experience might make $12-14 an hour, a pastry chef in a restaurant is lucky to get above $30 - 35k (not a whole lot of full time pastry chef jobs there), sous chefs generally make about 25% more than pastry chefs, but also work longer hours and have more staff to manage. If you head south, add 30% for East Bay/SF 'burbs and 50% or more (at least for rents if not wages) for San Francisco proper.

Unfortunately this industry is not one in which you can expect a super high standard of living. You should be able to hope to get beyond the collegiate-style sharing a house with friends or strangers, but the hope of owning your own home is a distant dream unless you have a spouse in a much more lucrative industry.

Edited February 13, 2009 by pastrygirl (log)

[KatieLoeb]

I'd be more than happy to work more than 40 hours and I used to. Until I noticed I wasn't getting properly compensated and complained. The "answer" was to cut one of my shifts.

pastrygirl, thanks for the kind offer. Not sure I want to move to Singapore, though. I have a house, a car, pets and friends and family here, so I can't really just pick up and go, much as I'd sometimes love to.

The standard of living in Philly is pretty high compared to other US cities, which is one of the reasons I stayed here after graduating from University of Pennsylvania. I love that I can afford to have a house here (granted, I inherited the one I live in now, but I rented several prior to moving into my mom's former abode), I can have a car and eat and drink reasonably well. None of those things would be even remotely possible if I lived in New York or San Francisco, for example.

Edited February 13, 2009 by KatieLoeb (log)

[TheFoodTutor]

Unfortunately this industry is not one in which you can expect a super high standard of living.  You should be able to hope to get beyond the collegiate-style sharing a house with friends or strangers, but the hope of owning your own home is a distant dream unless you have a spouse in a much more lucrative industry.

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I own my condo, actually. At the time that I bought it, I was a server and my (then) boyfriend was a line cook, which was just a little before the time that I did my foodblog on eGullet. After that, I took a job as a pastry chef and he got promoted to sous chef, and we were still doing OK. When we broke up, I was down to one income and went back to waiting tables, but I've still been able to manage.

Of course, I do work an average of about 50 hours per week, and I've been serving for a long time at one of the busiest restaurants in Atlanta, so I plan things very, very carefully. I don't go out drinking with my co-workers and I work hard and watch what I spend all the time. Still, I don't feel like I do too badly, even when I do a lot of cleaning and extra work for my $2.13/hour wage.

Now, I did take an intense beating in the stock market last year, but that's entirely another topic. . .

[TheFoodTutor]

A lot of servers know shockingly little about food (I guess if they were into food they'd be in the kitchen instead). 

I'm actually shocked that this statement could be made in response to something that I wrote more than anything else in this thread. I mean, wow.

[toweringpine]

Katie, I'm very sorry that the industry is the way it is, however, I don't think I as a customer am required to make up your wages.  If tipping is voluntary, then it is voluntary.  There are those who will tip and those who won't.  You do the job because you love it, that's great. 

But VOLUNTARY is the key word here.  If the industry continues to not want to pay a decent wage to their staff then maybe there needs to be an organized effort to get it to do so.  If the industry wants the customer to make up the difference, then start adding service charge of 15-20% to the bill and make that known on the menu.

Then people will not have to tip, it's included up front, and the industry doesn't have to pay you anymore money.  And call it what it is, a service charge.  And then no one should complain when people don't give extra over that required amount.

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Marlene, my point is that it really ISN'T voluntary.

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If it isn't listed on the menu then it is indeed voluntary.

It is a bad system that needs to be changed!

[KatieLoeb]

Katie, I'm very sorry that the industry is the way it is, however, I don't think I as a customer am required to make up your wages.  If tipping is voluntary, then it is voluntary.  There are those who will tip and those who won't.  You do the job because you love it, that's great. 

But VOLUNTARY is the key word here.  If the industry continues to not want to pay a decent wage to their staff then maybe there needs to be an organized effort to get it to do so.  If the industry wants the customer to make up the difference, then start adding service charge of 15-20% to the bill and make that known on the menu.

Then people will not have to tip, it's included up front, and the industry doesn't have to pay you anymore money.  And call it what it is, a service charge.  And then no one should complain when people don't give extra over that required amount.

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Marlene, my point is that it really ISN'T voluntary.

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If it isn't listed on the menu then it is indeed voluntary.

It is a bad system that needs to be changed!

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Do you need a note at the bottom of the menu that says, "Please use the bathrooms. Do not defecate in the soup bowls..."?? Not taking food off the plates of the people at the next table isn't printed on the menu. Not spitting water at your tablemates isn't either. But it's "customary and expected", just like the tip, unless the service was poor enough to warrant a conversation with the manager.

Edited February 16, 2009 by KatieLoeb (log)

[philadining]

Of course, we're getting into semantics when we start discussing the meaning of "voluntary" but I have to agree with Katie, that tipping, at least in the US, is not really voluntary in a functional sense.

True, it's not mandatory in a legal sense, nor is there a required specific percentage, but it's expected, not out of some misplaced sense of entitlement on the part of the tipped employee, but (as has been explained many times here) because that's how their compensation is structured.

Yes, you COULD have a hotel bellman come to your room and load up a cart with a huge pile of bags, and roll it down to your car, and pack everything in your trunk, and not tip him, but you're being a jerk if you don't. That person is paid less than minimum wage, with the understanding that people who use his services will make up the difference with tips.

Sure, you can refuse to participate, just like you can refuse to chip-in for gas if your friend drives his car on your vacation together. You can refuse to put any money in the coffee-fund at work even though you drink the coffee, and every one else is contributing. It's voluntary, right? Sure those things are "voluntary" but you're being a selfish, exploitative person to not pay up.

So sure, you COULD refuse to tip your waiter or bartender because you don't like the system, but you're really just causing that employee to be underpaid. It's not that you're refusing to reward them, you're causing them to earn less than minimum wage.

Restaurants, and hotels and hair salons, and lots of other businesses structure their budgets like that. They (legally) underpay their employees, with the culturally-accepted understanding that the customers will makeup the difference. If they didn't do that, they'd have to charge higher prices for the food, or the hotel room, or the haircut, or whatever.

So you're getting your food at a discount. You're getting your hotel room at a reduced rate. But that reduction is being borne on the backs of the workers, and if you just pocket those savings, you're doing it at the expense of the people serving you.

Your meal has been discounted 15-20 percent from what the restaurant would need to charge for it if they paid the waitstaff a living wage. You're expected to make that up. It may be a crappy system, but that's the system.

Paradoxically, I'll agree that it's bad form to chase people down and chide them about their tipping habits, but there are relatively elegant ways to ask if there's a problem, even ways to tactfully explain that no tip, or a very low tip usually indicates dissatisfaction. I've seen it done smoothly. Sometimes it is a matter of a visitor not understanding, or someone well-intentioned simply ding the math incorrectly, and in those cases a customer might even be happy that it's been pointed out. I'll agree that it's not easy to do politely, so it's probably a safer policy to not say anything, but it can be done.

[Holly Moore]

People should tip. They should base their tip on service.

Servers or management should never, no matter how tactfully, inquire about a low or missing tip.

Bad math happens. Both ways. Breaths there a server with soul so true that he will chase down a diner who screwed up the math and left a fifty percent tip?

[Just Jim]

Of course, we're getting into semantics when we start discussing the meaning of "voluntary" but I have to agree with Katie, that tipping, at least in the US, is not really voluntary in a functional sense.

True, it's not mandatory in a legal sense, nor is there a required specific percentage, but it's expected, not out of some misplaced sense of entitlement on the part of the tipped employee, but (as has been explained many times here) because that's how their compensation is structured.

Yes, you COULD have a hotel bellman come to your room and load up a cart with a huge pile of bags, and roll it down to your car, and pack everything in your trunk, and not tip him, but you're being a jerk if you don't.  That person is paid less than minimum wage, with the understanding that people who use his services will make up the difference with tips.

Sure, you can refuse to participate, just like you can refuse to chip-in for gas if your friend drives his car on your vacation together.  You can refuse to put any money in the coffee-fund at work even though you drink the coffee, and every one else is contributing. It's voluntary, right?  Sure those things are "voluntary" but you're being a selfish, exploitative person to not pay up.

So sure, you COULD refuse to tip your waiter or bartender because you don't like the system, but you're really just causing that employee to be underpaid. It's not that you're refusing to reward them, you're causing them to earn less than minimum wage.

Restaurants, and hotels and hair salons, and lots of other businesses structure their budgets like  that. They (legally) underpay their employees, with the culturally-accepted understanding that the customers will makeup the difference.  If they didn't do that, they'd have to charge higher prices for the food, or the hotel room, or the haircut, or whatever. 

So you're getting your food at a discount.  You're getting your hotel room at a reduced rate. But that reduction is being borne on the backs of the workers, and if you just pocket those savings, you're doing it at the expense of the people serving you.

Your meal has been discounted 15-20 percent from what the restaurant would need to charge for it if they paid the waitstaff a living wage. You're expected to make that up.  It may be a crappy system, but that's the system.

Paradoxically, I'll agree that it's bad form to chase people down and chide them about their tipping habits, but there are relatively elegant ways to ask if there's a problem, even ways to tactfully explain that no tip, or a very low tip usually indicates dissatisfaction.  I've seen it done smoothly.  Sometimes it is a matter of a visitor not understanding, or someone well-intentioned simply ding the math incorrectly, and in those cases a customer might even be happy that it's been pointed out.  I'll agree that it's not easy to do politely, so it's probably a safer policy to not say anything, but it can be done.

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I think you summed that up very well.

[pastrygirl]

A lot of servers know shockingly little about food (I guess if they were into food they'd be in the kitchen instead). 

I'm actually shocked that this statement could be made in response to something that I wrote more than anything else in this thread. I mean, wow.

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I am befuddled by your shock, but upon further reflection, I don't think my statement was true, and I would like to apologize for upsetting your equilibrium and issue a retraction.

I will say too many can't be bothered to remember the sorbets du jour, a personal pet peeve.

I think what I meant to say was that I am disheartened when servers don't seem to care as much about the food itself as I'd like them to, meaning care about eating it or have a deep understanding of the processes. When a server at a French bistro looks at a dessert that consists of a chocolate bombe sitting in a pool of creme anglaise and asks, 'so...which part is the creme anglaise?', that only proves his individual boneheadedness. When a server at a different place asked me what is the difference between baking powder and yeast, I appreciated his curiosity, even though it was a very basic (to me) question that indicated he might not have ever baked anything in his life. That is OK, but somehow it still confuses me when people who don't cook make their living (even though sort of indirectly) from food. Service is customer care and sales, the kitchen is where you go when you want to geek out over micro chervil and rare citrus crossbreeds and such, I'll try to keep reminding myself of that

[KatieLoeb]

Yes, you COULD have a hotel bellman come to your room and load up a cart with a huge pile of bags, and roll it down to your car, and pack everything in your trunk, and not tip him, but you're being a jerk if you don't. That person is paid less than minimum wage, with the understanding that people who use his services will make up the difference with tips.

I wouldn't even be so certain that the bellman isn't making $8-12/hr. already, PLUS his tips. Hotels tend to compensate their staff with better hourly wages, even if their position is tipped. For instance, the hair stylists at the fancy salon, or the masseuse at the spa are making over minimum wage for certain. PLUS their tips. Many hotels are union run, as well, which ups the base wage considerably. The only professions where I know for certain that it's absolutely legal for an employer to pay a mere fraction of minimum wage is to servers and bartenders. And theoretically, the employer has to make up the difference for any days when you actually made less than minimum wage. Good luck collecting that. Since paychecks are generally weekly or bi-weekly, the payroll company just gets a figure for the total number of hours worked and the amount of tips to tax. Do the math and get an average and it would likely rise above suspicion. Who is policing this?? No one, that's who.

[pastrygirl]

Unfortunately this industry is not one in which you can expect a super high standard of living.  You should be able to hope to get beyond the collegiate-style sharing a house with friends or strangers, but the hope of owning your own home is a distant dream unless you have a spouse in a much more lucrative industry.

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I own my condo, actually. At the time that I bought it, I was a server and my (then) boyfriend was a line cook, which was just a little before the time that I did my foodblog on eGullet. After that, I took a job as a pastry chef and he got promoted to sous chef, and we were still doing OK. When we broke up, I was down to one income and went back to waiting tables, but I've still been able to manage.

Of course, I do work an average of about 50 hours per week, and I've been serving for a long time at one of the busiest restaurants in Atlanta, so I plan things very, very carefully. I don't go out drinking with my co-workers and I work hard and watch what I spend all the time. Still, I don't feel like I do too badly, even when I do a lot of cleaning and extra work for my $2.13/hour wage.

Now, I did take an intense beating in the stock market last year, but that's entirely another topic. . .

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Aha! a relatively financially successful server, great to know it can happen.

So would you attribute your success more to:

A) working 40+ hours a week at a busy place and being careful with your income

or

B) chasing down living-in-the-'50s-octogenarians, clueless foreigners, and the unrepentantly cheap to try to get an extra six bucks after they left only 9%?

[joanner]

If the local restaurant reviewer doesn't know better than:

a) to tip properly because they're getting reimbursed for it

b) to tip the staff properly at a supposed friend's restaurant

then you did her a service pointing out her shortcomings.  Allowing the children to play with their food in that manner is appalling enough.  Less than a dollar?  Ridiculous and just insulting.  You confronted her in a calm voice and with reasonable and valid points.  The waiters that were yelling at her were the ones that should have been fired.

I'll bet it felt good....

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I'm sure it felt great, but I agree with Maitre d'Hell that it was absolutely the wrong decision. It's never ok to call out a guest for leaving a poor tip; it doesn't point out any shortcomings, it just gives a difficult customer cause for righteous indignation. In a situation like that, it is appropriate for the manager to talk to the customer to make sure everything was satisfactory, and if the customer says that it was, the right response should be, "I'm so glad to hear it; hope to see you here again soon". The guest leaves happy, and tells their friends (at least some of whom are apt to be less stingy and more polite). When a guest leaves embarrassed and angry, they will tell EVERYONE, and they will have a point.

I've been in the restaurant business at every level from busser to GM for the past 16 years, and the sad fact is that some customers are unbearably rude, and that some customers don't tip. There's nothing we can do about it, but accept that part of the job with professionalism.

[joanner]

 

Bad math happens.  Both ways.  Breaths there a server with soul so true that he will chase down a diner who screwed up the math and left a fifty percent tip?

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I've done it. Myself and a coworker were waiting on a party of about 20. It was the restaurant's policy to add an 18% gratuity to parties of 6 or more. We added the gratuity to the bill and the host paid by credit card. When I collected the check, there was an extra 25% in cash in the check presenter. My colleague and I discussed it, and I discreetly approached the host to make sure that he understood that the tip was already included in the bill. He replied that he had understood, and he thought that the two of us did such a nice job that we deserved it. Made my year!

To be fair, although we did want to be honest, part of our motivation was that we knew that if management found out that we had pocketed money that wasn't clearly designated as a tip, we'd be out of a job. I'd have no choice but to fire one of my servers if they did otherwise-- or if they confronted a guest about a crappy tip.

[jackal10]

It may be the system in some parts of the US, but not in most of the civilised world.

A polite notice of explanation would make the system a lot more legitimate Strictly that notice should be displayed with the menu outside so that it forms part of the contract.