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Do You Say Something Or Not?


PLangfordJr

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i cannot imagine a situation where i'd find it appropriate for a server to "call out" a customer about the size of a tip.

The server confronting the table is not appropriate, I agree.

The restaurant group where I work has a policy wherein the manager on duty in the front of the house makes a table call to ask if everything was OK with their food and service whenever a tip of less than 10% is left. This policy is rather complicated and involved, since it means that the server must receive full payment, look at the tip, then get a manager to make the table call, presuming the table has not left yet.

The manager then goes to the table, asks how everything was, if service and food were good. Upon receiving an answer of "Yes, everything was fine (good, great, whatever.)", then the manager says;

"Good. We were just concerned, because, whenever someone tips less than 10%, we always want to make sure that service was up to our standards."

At this point, the patron is able to make other comments, but of course this brings up other questions. If service was sub-par, then why didn't you mention it when asked by the manager the first time? The resulting responses are often entertaining.

"Oh. . . yeah. . . she was a little slow at times."

"Oh, well, sure we tipped $5 on a $110 bill, but, well, . . . we're Canadian." (An actual response. I couldn't make this stuff up.)

"Times are tough. We can't afford to tip that way."

We have had managers ask patrons not to return to the restaurant, based on some of these responses, but we also state clearly on the menu that we stand behind our service, and that a minimum 15% tip for good service is customary and expected. It's a reasonable policy, since almost everyone does tip according to custom, and the house charges tipshare of our servers, in addition to the IRS assuming that tips will constitute a certain percentage of sales, as has been noted.

Tips as a percentage of the sale is a form of wages in this country, and I think it is reasonable to expect that people either follow the custom, or speak up to management if service doesn't merit an appropriate tip.

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Let me assure you that if anyone chased my dad out onto the street and harangued him for a bigger tip, it's the staff that would get an "education."

And why might your dad have chosen not to tip?

If he's actually unhappy with the service, than the waiter in the street would be giving him a chance to say so. If he truly doesn't understand tipping, then he's getting a chance to make things right. And if he's just an asshole, then what education, exactly, does he have to offer?

They would receive an education as to who is the greater asshole: an 89 year-old man that is a guest in their establishment, and has been told all his life that tipping is VOLUNTARY and does not expect to be coerced or bullied into leaving one, and who was told all his life that 10% is appropriate and believes it still to be.

Or some jerk that has run out into the street to tell him it's not.

First, the response I described was typically to a patron who didn't tip at all. In big cities that's often caused by a visitor who simply doesn't know the custom. The response is phrased as a genuine question: "was there a problem with the service?"

And second, I think anyone, regardless of age, who makes a habit of tipping 10% based on it being "voluntary," or on it having been appropriate in a bygone era, is a bigger asshole than any waiter I know.

The jerk running into the street is just trying to get paid for the job they do (as your dad most likely expected to get paid for whatever job he did all his life).

Notes from the underbelly

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Getting an appropropriate rate of pay is a negotiation between the staff and the management, not the staff and the customer. Begging for your money from the customer is demeaning.

I try to avoid places where the tipping policy (and hence the implied contract) is not stated. I have no wish to join in what often amounts to tax fraud.

I want my wait person to concentrate on professional service, not on how much they are going to get, and tricks to maximise that. I do not want the personal touch. I have no wish to be their temporary friend, flirt or be flirted with, hear their life story or tell mine, nor do I wish their opinion on politics or the financial crisis. I do not wish the tab to ornamented with hand drawn hearts and cute messages. The last waitress that did that got a severely reduced tip. If I want to give a donation to the low paid I will give to an appropriate charity.

Heavens knows how much the waiters job has been de-skilled to plate slinging - rare now is full silver service, or carving the meat or filleting the fish at table, let alone remembering who ordered what without asking, or knowing the menu, cooking methods and ingredients. Ordering and communication with the kitchen is often electronic, with the kitchen portioning and plating.

I suppose I should feel honoured if the food and wine arrives in reasonable time, in the right order, without being dropped and at an appropriate temperature. Even that is rarer than it should be.

Edited by jackal10 (log)
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Getting an appropropriate rate of pay is a negotiation between the staff and the management, not the staff and the customer.

Not really. The going rate in any given state is the going rate. In Pennsylvania I make $2.83/hr., unlike California which at least pays the minimum wage. I could move to California, I suppose, but the cost of living there is higher so it might be a bad move...

Begging for your money from the customer is demeaning.

Agreed. But the structure is what it is. It won't change any time soon. If you can't afford to tip, you shouldn't go out. If we all decided to pay "what we could voluntarily afford" at the doctor, dentist, lawyer, delicatessen, supermarket, gas station, hairdresser, etc. I think the plight of service staff would be a lot clearer to most people. It is "customary" to tip in this country. It is customary to tip 15-20%. I didn't make the rules, I just have to make a living under them. I'm not suggesting rewarding lousy service, but tipping is built in as part of the wage structure in more places than it is not. Remember that next time you go out. I assure you I will be happy to explain the menu, answer any questions you might have about preparation or ingredients, replace your silverware (even at the bar) between courses, make certain your water glass is full, deliver the proper dish to both you and your dining companions and mix you a damned tasty drink. I'll pair wine with every course if you'd like. I haven't had to filet a fish tableside in a while, but if it were part of my job description, I'd be certain to do it well. I promise you I will not draw little hearts and flowers on your check or make inappropriate conversation. In fact, if you haven't engaged me, I will assume you aren't feeling "chatty". I will leave you and your dining companions to your own conversations and only politely interrupt to deliver your food or inquire if you require another beverage when I notice your almost empty glass. But I surely shouldn't have to starve to death if I've done my job well, enhanced your dining experience and lived up to your standards just because you have a problem with the system. So do I. Until that changes I still need to pay my bills and I shouldn't have to change careers to something I have no passion for or move to another state to make a wage that's just barely above the poverty line, or embarass everyone involved by pointedly asking "was everything OK" to do that. If you had a good experience then tip appropriately. If you had a great experience then tip better. If you had an experience that was lacking enough to short someone's wages (because that's effectively what you're doing), then you need to summon management and express your displeasure.

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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"is built in as part of the wage structure in more places than it is not."

In which case a small notice on the menu would be appropriate " Tipping in this establshment is customarily 15%-20%. Its part of the wage structure for wait staff"" for those of us who come from a place where tipping is rare.

Its effectively a surcharge on the prices that the restaurant is not honest enough to state. Finding a price increase after you have bought and paid is strange.

Edited by jackal10 (log)
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If you're concerned about the establishment being "honest" the disclaimer should read, "We are proud to state that we only pay our waitstaff less than one third of the Federal minimum wage and expect you to make up for our shortcomings with gratuities. We enjoy this as an added benefit of our payroll structure and make other financial decisions about the restaurant based on this calculation of weekly wages and labor costs." Let me know when to look out the window to see pigs fly and we can talk about it then. OK?

If you truly only limit yourself to patronizing establishments where such a statement is printed on the menu for all to see and evaluate, it must limit your dining options tremendously. Most places have a hard enough time even printing the policy about automatically including gratuities for large parties.

My point remains the same. I don't expect you to pay for substandard service. I just expect you to get with the program and realize that neither your displeasure, nor mine with the system as it exists, should mean that I or any of my hardworking brethren should starve until it changes. It is what it is. Punishing your server/bartender is misdirected anger. If you're serious about wanting to change it, then engage the owner or manager about changing their wage policy. Don't take it out on me if I'm doing my job well.

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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I will certainly enquire and negotiate a fee for service before I order...

Lets see how this stacks up... I expect to dine and engage your services for say 3 hours. I guess you are also looking after 3 other tables. Suppose I pay twice minimum wage, comparable to a nurse or K12 teacher wages, and according to http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Ex...hef/Hourly_Rate comparable to an average executive chef wages. $16 x 3 = $48/4 tables = $12 tip. Can we now order with a clear conscience?

Say 4 top x $100 each = $400. 20% would be $80, and for 4 tables thats $320 for 3 hours work, or over $100/hour Not many jobs pay that

Why should I "get with the program" and pay over 12 times the minimum wage, and five times the national average wage? I am unlikely to pass by the establishment again, so I have no interest in creating relationships or being ripped off.

We change the system by not supporting it. 20% is outrageous.

Edited by jackal10 (log)
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I agree in theory. Only thing is, a very large percentage of servers don't work in places where people are spending $100/person. I rarely hear people who serve in expensive fine dining or even upscale restaurants complaining about their tip earnings overall. Maybe the occasional grumble about the cheap table they had last night but that's about it. When you take your scenario and move it to a place where people are spending $15 - $20 each things change a bit. Not only does it change the numbers via the math but it often changes people's feelings on how to tip. "I only had a burger and fries, just throw a couple quarters on the table." Or "that will be $14.59" and, as they hand over a ten and a five, "and the change is for you". I still say that does not warrant harassing the customer for a bigger tip but I can certainly understand why servers sometimes would like to.

It's kinda like wrestling a gorilla... you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.

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I find it really interesting that there's another thread right now wherein restaurant owners are trying to figure out how, during this downturn, to keep their current customers happy and coming in the door, not to mention attract new ones.

While here, there are people actually arguing that it's okay to confront, badger, berate, bully, shame and embarrass them.

All I'm saying is that before you challenge somebody and attempt to "educate" them, you'd better understand that you might wind up getting more than you bargained for.

And I don't mean a better tip.

I don't understand why rappers have to hunch over while they stomp around the stage hollering.  It hurts my back to watch them. On the other hand, I've been thinking that perhaps I should start a rap group here at the Old Folks' Home.  Most of us already walk like that.

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I find it really interesting that there's another thread right now wherein restaurant owners are trying to figure out how, during this downturn, to keep their current customers happy and coming in the door, not to mention attract new ones.

While here, there are people actually arguing that it's okay to confront, badger, berate, bully, shame and embarrass them.

All I'm saying is that before you challenge somebody and attempt to "educate" them, you'd better understand that you might wind up getting more than you bargained for. 

And I don't mean a better tip.

You're comparing the person/people who own the restaurant to the servers who work there. Not really an apples to apples scenario. All who work in a restaurant should care equally in the success of the place but that's rarely the case. If the place sinks, only the owner/s go down with the ship. The rest just move on to somewhere else and go on business as usual.

It's kinda like wrestling a gorilla... you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.

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Shows the foolishness of a fixed percentage.

I agree the numbers are different for a place where the average spend is $20. However if the spend is $20/head I am unlikely to need 3 hours of the servers time, more like 1 hour,

So lets do the same sums with these assumptions.

4 top x $20 x 4 tables = $320 spend. 20% =$64/hour. Still not bad.

If I am going to tip so the wage is comparable to the chef then $16/320 = 5%.

Lets say there is only on average 50% occupancy, so 10% is maybe fair. 20% is still excessive.

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I find it really interesting that there's another thread right now wherein restaurant owners are trying to figure out how, during this downturn, to keep their current customers happy and coming in the door, not to mention attract new ones.

While here, there are people actually arguing that it's okay to confront, badger, berate, bully, shame and embarrass them.

All I'm saying is that before you challenge somebody and attempt to "educate" them, you'd better understand that you might wind up getting more than you bargained for. 

And I don't mean a better tip.

You're comparing the person/people who own the restaurant to the servers who work there. Not really an apples to apples scenario. All who work in a restaurant should care equally in the success of the place but that's rarely the case. If the place sinks, only the owner/s go down with the ship. The rest just move on to somewhere else and go on business as usual.

Yes, that's true. But even setting aside the loyalty issue, if you've got a good job and you want to keep it, and you don't want to be out pounding the streets trying to find another job, especially in an unfavorable business climate, I think it behooves you to contribute as much as you can to the success of the business. Not to mention that it's been my experience that, like most areas of work, the restaurant world can be pretty small and gossipy. If you get a reputation for irritating and upsetting customers to the extent they don't come back, it might not so easy to "move on to somewhere else and go on business as usual."

I think if you get a considerably smaller tip than you think you deserve, you SHOULD ask, "Was everything okay?" with an obviously concerned look on your face, as long as you can do it at the table. And then be prepared for an answer that may be far less than flattering. But that's it. You've let your opinion be known. Unless they say, "Yes, it was fine, why?" you should drop it.

And frankly, I think a lot of this comes down to a difference of opinion as to how good you think your service was vs how good they think your service was. If you confront them, you're running a very real risk of winding up standing there in a very public argument over this issue. Or about the meaning of the word, "voluntary." Or about the relative merits and drawbacks of the "percentage system" in general. An argument perhaps even escalating into loud voices and fingers in faces. How is that a good thing?

Like I asked above....if this is really all about getting what you "deserve" and you want to complain when you get a smaller tip than you think you deserve, do you also want to hand back a portion of a tip that was larger than you deserve?

I don't know... Also like I said previously, I waited tables when I was in college, years ago. I've got three grown children. My oldest son put himself through college waiting tables. My daughter put her husband through law school waiting tables. My other son put himself through college waiting tables, earning a degree in hotel and restaurant mgt, and is still in the restaurant/hospitality business. I'm not for stiffing waiters.

But to say that it's just fine to confront and challenge a customer? No. Never. It's just not. And I don't care how pissed off you are. Don't do it unless your plan is to "educate" them as part of your final hurrah, on your way out the door permanently.

Which you sure would be if I owned the restaurant.

Edited by Jaymes (log)

I don't understand why rappers have to hunch over while they stomp around the stage hollering.  It hurts my back to watch them. On the other hand, I've been thinking that perhaps I should start a rap group here at the Old Folks' Home.  Most of us already walk like that.

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...I still need to pay my bills and I shouldn't have to change careers to something I have no passion for or move to another state to make a wage that's just barely above the poverty line...

Most people are not passionate about their jobs and work solely to support themselves and their families. As was made painfully clear to me elsewhere on eG, bakers are paid a pitiful sum, perhaps not as little as waiters in our state, but low enough (and, often, with worse hours) to possibly warrant a second income. If you're doing what you love, you must accept low wages as part of the job and not take it out on the customer. Restaurant owners are to blame, not customers. The word "voluntary" should not be rendered meaningless.

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We're talking U.S. here, right? I think that with people from other countries, you just have to suck it up. If you get huge numbers of customers in that situation, you will have to weigh the benefits of adding a service charge and stating such on the menu.

I do think asking if the service was OK is fine. If a customer hears that question repeatedly, they may begin to put two and two together and realize their tips are sending a different message than they intend. That said, there is nothing more tiresome than someone who thinks it's their job to "educate" their customers about the realities of their business. I owned a retail business with someone who acted that way and god was it a crashing bore. It probably annoyed me more because I got it all day, but I saw customers rolling their eyes too. And it really doesn't work. You're repeating yourself over and over, but to different customers. No lesson is going to sink in that way.

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i cannot imagine a situation where i'd find it appropriate for a server to "call out" a customer about the size of a tip.

The server confronting the table is not appropriate, I agree.

The restaurant group where I work has a policy wherein the manager on duty in the front of the house makes a table call to ask if everything was OK with their food and service whenever a tip of less than 10% is left. This policy is rather complicated and involved, since it means that the server must receive full payment, look at the tip, then get a manager to make the table call, presuming the table has not left yet.

The manager then goes to the table, asks how everything was, if service and food were good. Upon receiving an answer of "Yes, everything was fine (good, great, whatever.)", then the manager says;

"Good. We were just concerned, because, whenever someone tips less than 10%, we always want to make sure that service was up to our standards."

At this point, the patron is able to make other comments, but of course this brings up other questions. If service was sub-par, then why didn't you mention it when asked by the manager the first time? The resulting responses are often entertaining.

"Oh. . . yeah. . . she was a little slow at times."

"Oh, well, sure we tipped $5 on a $110 bill, but, well, . . . we're Canadian." (An actual response. I couldn't make this stuff up.)

"Times are tough. We can't afford to tip that way."

We have had managers ask patrons not to return to the restaurant, based on some of these responses, but we also state clearly on the menu that we stand behind our service, and that a minimum 15% tip for good service is customary and expected. It's a reasonable policy, since almost everyone does tip according to custom, and the house charges tipshare of our servers, in addition to the IRS assuming that tips will constitute a certain percentage of sales, as has been noted.

Tips as a percentage of the sale is a form of wages in this country, and I think it is reasonable to expect that people either follow the custom, or speak up to management if service doesn't merit an appropriate tip.

Even though I'm a decent tipper, I would make a point of under-tipping here, just to have that discussion with the manager on my obligations as a customer both to supervise service and tip to the place's standards. I suspect my parting words would be, "I've been thrown out of better joints than this."

Holly Moore

"I eat, therefore I am."

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I think chasing down non tippers is amazingly crass, and would probably never go to any restaurant I saw allowing such an act.

Random notes:

A friend of mine - who was at one time owner of a restaurant - used to lay down a solid tip: 20% - 25% ish whenever she ate in the front of the house at her own place.

I wonder how most people calculate their tip - what percentage for what product and service...

While I do go out to good restaurants on occasion, most time that I am tipping, I am getting a breakfast bagel and similar small stuff via ordering at a counter. My full range is as follows. I tip 15% to 100%+/- , depending on circumstances. 15% if I am broke and/or the service is mediocre, 20% if the service is solid, 25% to 33% if everything is fabulous, and 50% to 100% + when buying very small stuff standing while ordering at the counter; a coffee, an english muffin... I rarely leave less than a buck regardless. When the financial gods smile upon me, I tip better.

I'm lucky, have never had service so bad I declined to tip or tipped less than 15%. I hope I've never plain forgot.

While I do try to tip appropriately, I still can't entirely reconcile myself to business models that pay poorly and put the servers at the mercy of the generosity of the customer, and that put a guilt factor on the customer. I'm thinking of all the other persons who depend upon tipping to get a decent living, waiters, hairdressers, cabbies, doormen...

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As a customer, I can't think of a more uncomfortable situation than being called out on my tipping. I can guarantee that if that happened to me, no matter how gently it was phrased I'd never set foot in that restaurant again out of sheer embarrassment. Honestly, if a restaurant really wanted to know, maybe it should start including a survey with the bill instead.

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Is confronting the customer a good business practice in any industry? I can't imagine any restaurant allowing the staff to chide, chastize, hound, or "educate" customers regarding tips. I, for one, don't really respond to the "how was the service" comment with anything approaching honesty--here I am, trying to enjoy myself: I certainly don't want to create anything approaching tension or conflict with a server by providing a critique of his/her job performance (especially at a place I visit regularly, or when out with friends or clients). My dinner out is about MY enjoyment; I don't want to be treated as a mini-focus group on customer service just after dessert. As a rule, I tip at least 15%, even when the service is laughable. 20% is for good service; random additional generosity is possible for exemplary performance. I agree with the previous poster who pointed out that if your clientele is primarily international tourists unfamiliar with US tipping customs, print a suggested tipping policy discreetly on your menu or guest checks.

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Is confronting the customer a good business practice in any industry?  I can't imagine any restaurant allowing the staff to chide, chastize, hound, or "educate" customers regarding tips.  I, for one, don't really respond to the "how was the service" comment with anything approaching honesty--here I am, trying to enjoy myself:  I certainly don't want to create anything approaching tension or conflict with a server by providing a critique of his/her job performance (especially at a place I visit regularly, or when out with friends or clients).  My dinner out is about MY enjoyment; I don't want to be treated as a mini-focus group on customer service just after dessert.  As a rule, I tip at least 15%, even when the service is laughable.  20% is for good service; random additional generosity is possible for exemplary performance.  I agree with the previous poster who pointed out that if your clientele is primarily international tourists unfamiliar with US tipping customs, print a suggested tipping policy discreetly on your menu or guest checks.

I'm a 15-20 percenter, myself, also with "random additional generosity." I never lower the tip because of problems for which I deem the kitchen most likely responsible.

The only time I tip less than 10% is not for bad service - it's for surly or rude service, which is pretty rare. And I'd be more than happy to explain why. Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be), I've never been asked.

Edited by Jaymes (log)

I don't understand why rappers have to hunch over while they stomp around the stage hollering.  It hurts my back to watch them. On the other hand, I've been thinking that perhaps I should start a rap group here at the Old Folks' Home.  Most of us already walk like that.

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I'm not suggesting calling out the customer. I'm just suggesting that stubbornly refusing to "support" the policies that exist virtually nationwide (with the rare exceptions of Per Se and other high end places that can get away with charging a "service charge") is only punishing the hardworking service staff. Sitting around doing the math and figuring out what percentage of minimum wage the server is actually making over the course of an hour is insulting. If I did the math for every service or person I have to hand money over to, nothing would get accomplished in a day. Does my attorney really earn $350/hr.?? How about the doctor that kept me waiting for an hour and half when I had an appointment?? The locksmith that just charged me $100 for five minutes work to get me into my house? Seriously, if you want to niggle over the nickels and dimes and how much I'm theoretically making in your fantasy scenario, then the problem isn't simply that you disagree with the "system". You just fundamentally don't like to tip. And that just isn't fair to those of us that are forced to rely on the kindness of strangers for a goodly percentage of our wages. I don't like the system either. But it's what I do. Not while I'm working my way through school, not for extra spending money, not for any reason except that I love it. And customers with that attitude are literally punishing me for taking my job seriously. I wonder when the last time most folks had to rely on voluntary "goodwill" to pay their bills was? :unsure:

And "being unlikely to pass by that way again" or "not wanting to form relationships" is just an excuse to justify being cheap.

Edited by KatieLoeb (log)

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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Katie:

I'm not denying that you make your living from tips. However I don't see how you can justify expecting me to pay you at a rate that gives you double what the chef gets, or that a job like a nurse earns.

Saying its a lousy system but since its common we must use it is a poor argument. That way it will never change. Banker's bonuses are justified the same way. There is a better way.

I still can't make the sums work.

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Katie:

I'm not denying that you make your living from tips. However I don't see how you can justify expecting me to pay you at a rate that gives you double what the chef gets, or that a job like a nurse earns.

Saying its a lousy system but since its common we must use it is a poor argument. That way it will never change. Banker's bonuses are justified the same way. There is a better way.

I still can't make the sums work.

One flaw in your analysis is that you are assuming that only oxne person is being tipped. Rarely would that be the case. It is usually several at least per your scenario, each doing specific jobs. That changes your payscale levels significantly. here is no question however, that especially in a high end restaurant FOH often make considerably more than BOH.

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

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I'm a 15-20 percenter, myself, also with "random additional generosity."  I never lower the tip because of problems for which I deem the kitchen most likely responsible.

The only time I tip less than 10% is not for bad service - it's for surly or rude service, which is pretty rare.  And I'd be more than happy to explain why.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be), I've never been asked.

I am as well, although where I differ is in tipping for rude or surly service. In that case, they aren't getting anything from me. Why would I give someone anything extra to be rude to me? If such people continue to make tips for such lack of service, what incentive do they have to change?

I'm not suggesting calling out the customer.  I'm just suggesting that stubbornly refusing to "support" the policies that exist virtually nationwide (with the rare exceptions of Per Se and other high end places that can get away with charging a "service charge") is only punishing the hardworking service staff.  Sitting around doing the math and figuring out what percentage of minimum wage the server is actually making over the course of an hour is insulting.  If I did the math for every service or person I have to hand money over to, nothing would get accomplished in a day.  Does my attorney really earn $350/hr.??  How about the doctor that kept me waiting for an hour and half when I had an appointment??  The locksmith that just charged me $100 for five minutes work to get me into my house?  Seriously, if you want to niggle over the nickels and dimes and how much I'm theoretically making in your fantasy scenario, then the problem isn't simply that you disagree with the "system".  You just fundamentally don't like to tip.  And that just isn't fair to those of us that are forced to rely on the kindness of strangers for a goodly percentage of our wages.  I don't like the system either.  But it's what I do.  Not while I'm working my way through school, not for extra spending money, not for any reason except that I love it.  And customers with that attitude are literally punishing me for taking my job seriously.  I wonder when the last time most folks had to rely on voluntary "goodwill" to pay their bills was?  :unsure:

And "being unlikely to pass by that way again" or "not wanting to form relationships" is just an excuse to justify being cheap.

Katie, I'm very sorry that the industry is the way it is, however, I don't think I as a customer am required to make up your wages. If tipping is voluntary, then it is voluntary. There are those who will tip and those who won't. You do the job because you love it, that's great.

But VOLUNTARY is the key word here. If the industry continues to not want to pay a decent wage to their staff then maybe there needs to be an organized effort to get it to do so. If the industry wants the customer to make up the difference, then start adding service charge of 15-20% to the bill and make that known on the menu.

Then people will not have to tip, it's included up front, and the industry doesn't have to pay you anymore money. And call it what it is, a service charge. And then no one should complain when people don't give extra over that required amount.

Until that time, what I tip is my business, and if anyone ever confronted me over it, that would be the last time I set foot in the establishment and I'd damn well make sure everyone knew why.

I am off to the Bahamas in a few weeks and every restaurant menu I've looked at online for places I want to book, indicate a 15% gratutity is added to the bill. So that's what they will get from me, because they've decided that is the right amount to tip.

Marlene

Practice. Do it over. Get it right.

Mostly, I want people to be as happy eating my food as I am cooking it.

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Here in the UK tipping is entirely optional so i imagine not leaving a tip ihere is not as frowned upon as it is in say the US. I wil leave a tip if i get good service, if the service is bad - no tip. If a server or restaurant manager called me on how much i left as a tip i'd tell them why and then tell everyone i knew. It's not acceptable behaviour towards a customer.

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