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Vile Recipes


sadie4232
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Ever run across a recipe so loathsome it sends a shiver down your spine? Reading through the ingredients finds you battling your gag reflex?

Today I received a copy of Food & Family magazine from Kraft. Having never gotten one before, I paged through it. The very first recipe (submitted by a devoted reader) was as follows:

Velvety Vegetable Cheese Soup

1 pkg. (16 oz.) frozen broccoli, cauliflower and carrot mix

2 cans (14 oz. each) fat-free reduced-sodium chicken broth

3/4 lb. (12 oz.) Velveeta Pasteurized Prepared Cheese product, cut up

Place veggies and broth in large saucepan; cover. Bring to boil on medium high heat. Reduce heat to low; simmer 10 min. or until veggies are tender.

Mash vegetables with potato masher to desired consistency.

Stir in Velveeta; cook 5 min. or until Velveeta is melted and soup is heated through.

But wait...it gets even better: You can save 40 calories and 6 grams of fat per serving by preparing with Velveeta Made with 2% Milk Reduced Fat Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product. Just makes you want to race through the rest of the magazine, doesn't it? I doubt even Sandra Lee would stoop this low.

What recipe horrors have any of you run across in magazines, local newspapers, or from other sources?

The Wright Table

Becoming a better home cook, one meal at a time.

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Fried Butter Balls... courtesy of Paula Deen.

To make: Mix butter, a minimal amount of cream cheese, and salt and pepper. Coat with flour, egg, bread crumbs. Throw into deep fryer.

Read the comments, too. Who would have thought that so many people don't realize without trying this that mixing 8 ounces of butter with 2 ounces of cream cheese results in a product that will taste primarily of butter. :hmmm:

"I know it's the bugs, that's what cheese is. Gone off milk with bugs and mould - that's why it tastes so good. Cows and bugs together have a good deal going down."

- Gareth Blackstock (Lenny Henry), Chef!

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A really old one that just won't go away:

Crockpot "Swedish" Meatballs

One bag frozen meatballs

One can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup

One Bottle BBQ Sauce

One jar grape jelly

Dump all of the above into a crockpot, set it, forget it, and then several hours later umm boy, it's good eats all around! :blink:

Inside me there is a thin woman screaming to get out, but I can usually keep the Bitch quiet: with CHOCOLATE!!!

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Fried Butter Balls... courtesy of Paula Deen.

To make: Mix butter, a minimal amount of cream cheese, and salt and pepper. Coat with flour, egg, bread crumbs. Throw into deep fryer.

Read the comments, too. Who would have thought that so many people don't realize without trying this that mixing 8 ounces of butter with 2 ounces of cream cheese results in a product that will taste primarily of butter.  :hmmm:

That recipe is fucked up.

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Fried Butter Balls... courtesy of Paula Deen.

To make: Mix butter, a minimal amount of cream cheese, and salt and pepper. Coat with flour, egg, bread crumbs. Throw into deep fryer.

Read the comments, too. Who would have thought that so many people don't realize without trying this that mixing 8 ounces of butter with 2 ounces of cream cheese results in a product that will taste primarily of butter.  :hmmm:

Awww - you beat me to it!

I saw the show in which she made that "recipe," and in all fairness to PD, if memory serves me, I don't think she liked it all that well either.

shel

Edited by Shel_B (log)

 ... Shel


 

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A really old one that just won't go away:

Crockpot "Swedish" Meatballs

One bag frozen meatballs

One can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup

One Bottle BBQ Sauce

One jar grape jelly

Dump all of the above into a crockpot, set it, forget it, and then several hours later umm boy, it's good eats all around! :blink:

Sheesh - this was good-eating back in the 60s :shock:

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

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"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

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I'd have to say that anything with Velveeta tops my list of vile recipes. However, let's not forget about those nasty little wieners called Vienna Sausages. They qualify for the "anything that contains this product is vile" list.

This category offers the following: Top Ramen and Vienna Sausage Recipe.

Ingredients - 1 package of Top Ramen & 1 can Vienna Sausage

Directions: A. Boil a pot of water B. Add vienna sausages to boiling water C. Add Top Ramen noodles and let boil for 3 minutes D. Add Top Ramen flavored powder and stir

:blink:

Edited by Motochef (log)

Motochef! Enjoying fine food while motorcycle touring.

Motoblog! Motochef's Notes, Comments and Points of Interest

Motochef!

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I'd have to say that anything with Velveeta tops my list of vile recipes.  However, let's not forget about those nasty little wieners called Vienna Sausages.  They qualify for the "anything that contains this product is vile" list.

This category offers the following:  Top Ramen and Vienna Sausage Recipe. 

Ingredients - 1 package of Top Ramen & 1 can Vienna Sausage

Directions:  A. Boil a pot of water  B. Add vienna sausages to boiling water  C. Add Top Ramen noodles and let boil for 3 minutes  D.  Add Top Ramen flavored powder and stir 

:blink:

Where was this recipe published or did you just dream it up since you like neither product?

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Fried Butter Balls... courtesy of Paula Deen.

To make: Mix butter, a minimal amount of cream cheese, and salt and pepper. Coat with flour, egg, bread crumbs. Throw into deep fryer.

Read the comments, too. Who would have thought that so many people don't realize without trying this that mixing 8 ounces of butter with 2 ounces of cream cheese results in a product that will taste primarily of butter.  :hmmm:

wow... fried butter!..

I wonder how good it would be if you wrapped in bacon before breading it.

:wub:

:biggrin:

Jeff Meeker, aka "jsmeeker"

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From a friend on another (non-food) message board:

OK, peeps, I gotta tell you about something I saw the other day when I was looking for recipes to make for Thanksgiving.

This was a recipe for peas and pearl onions, and I swear I am not kidding you, these were the ingredients:

1 15-oz jar of pearl onions, drained

2 15-oz cans of peas, drained

3 tablespoons of reduced-fat vanilla frosting

Not kidding.  Look it up if you don't believe me:

http://www.dlife.com/dLife/do/recipe/ShowR...e?recipeId=2857

Now, I can almost see mixing jarred pearl onions and canned peas together. Almost. Like in the 1950s when fresh ones weren't readily available in supermarkets. But whatever possessed the recipe's creator to even try adding vanilla frosting??? :shock::shock:

SuzySushi

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Fried Butter Balls... courtesy of Paula Deen.

To make: Mix butter, a minimal amount of cream cheese, and salt and pepper. Coat with flour, egg, bread crumbs. Throw into deep fryer.

Read the comments, too. Who would have thought that so many people don't realize without trying this that mixing 8 ounces of butter with 2 ounces of cream cheese results in a product that will taste primarily of butter.  :hmmm:

wow... fried butter!..

I wonder how good it would be if you wrapped in bacon before breading it.

:wub:

:biggrin:

I thought we decided fried butter might be OK

http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=105039

T

The great thing about barbeque is that when you get hungry 3 hours later....you can lick your fingers

Maxine

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I thought we decided fried butter might be OK

http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=105039

T

Hadn't heard. I agree, there is a time and a place for it... but somehow it just doesn't feel like herbed butter, salad dressing, balsamic reduction, or any other condiment-like food to me. I still stand by the ill feelings. :raz:

"I know it's the bugs, that's what cheese is. Gone off milk with bugs and mould - that's why it tastes so good. Cows and bugs together have a good deal going down."

- Gareth Blackstock (Lenny Henry), Chef!

eG Ethics Signatory

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My mom used to make something called American Spaghetti.

1/2 pound of bacon fried and crumbled back into the bacon grease

1 can of condensed tomato soup, undilluted.

1 package of spaghetti noodles cooked and drained.

Mix tomato soup with the crumbled bacon and bacon grease. Add spaghetti noodles and toss.

:wacko: More like toss up.

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My mom used to make something called American Spaghetti. 

1/2 pound of bacon fried and crumbled back into the bacon grease

1 can of condensed tomato soup, undilluted.

1 package of spaghetti noodles cooked and drained.

Mix tomato soup with the crumbled bacon and bacon grease.  Add spaghetti noodles and toss.

:wacko: More like toss up.

I feel your pain. My mom used to slice up SPAM, put a ring of canned pineapple on each slice, then bake it. This delight was served with a healthy helping of canned potatoes adorned with dried parsley. To this day, I still have nightmares about it.

The Wright Table

Becoming a better home cook, one meal at a time.

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Bless her heart, I guess I was wrong about dear Sandra: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/re...6_31910,00.html  Any idea how one might even begin (or want) to eat this?

That napoleon reminded me of her Apple Pie Napoleon. I watched with jaw dropped as she took a perfectly fine apple pie and smashed it to smithereens to make her "dessert".

From her ingredient list and per her instructions -

1 uncooked crumb top apple pie - Bake apple pie per package instructions. Let cool. Once cooled, break up pie with a fork. :laugh:

On this show, she didn't bother with the monkey business of baking a frozen apple pie, she just used a store bought pie.

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