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Kid-related cooking disasters

Teri Everitt

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Over the years we've had a few food related incidents involving the kids. Reading the pets and cooking thread got me thinking about a few of them.

Emma,(now 16 and still banned from making popcorn on the stovetop because of some desecrations committed against my helpless pots and pans) started her cooking career at age 2 when she woke up one morning and decided to make breakfast for Mom and Dad. What I awoke to was about 5 eggs cracked onto my couch and a healthy pour of pancake syrup on top for good measure.

She also told Grandma that it was okay to use a corning ware oven dish right on the stovetop. Why Grandma was taking cooking advice from a 3 year old I'll never quite understand. Results were bottom suddenly falling out of dish while full of chili and en route to the table. Much cleaning of white stove, white cupboards and light gray flooring followed.

Another time I put some tomato sauce on the stove and put some garlic butter out to warm up to room temperature. I left the room to check my email and when I came back the garlic butter was gone. I searched all over before noticing the oil slick on top of the sauce. This time my son was the culprit.

Then last week, I had bought Gordie a muffin mix and promised him we would make muffins. I got super busy at work and couldn't do it. Big sister then promised she would help him, and she bailed too.

I guess he decided to take matters into his own hands. On my weekend away, my ex came downstairs to find he had dumped all the muffin mix in a bowl, all the eggs he could find (4) and a box each of chocolate instant pudding and banana instant pudding. He was enthusiastically buzzing all of this with the hand blender. I guess the thinking was muffins are good, pudding is good so muffins + pudding= really good. Strangely enough my ex decided to bake them anyway and they turned out better than when my ex bakes them following the directions.

Maybe I should send the muffin mix people his recipe :biggrin:

So what surprises have thel little ones cooked up for you?

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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I have no children to create disasters yet.

I do have my mother's story from many years ago when my little sister was still a wee little one (of course this has been relayed to me).

My mom was getting ready to make some pork chops. She turned to do something else in the kitchen, and then turned back to the raw pork chops... Except one was no longer on the plate, because my sister had picked it up and started sucking on it.

I think it goes without saying that my mom totally freaked out.

"I know it's the bugs, that's what cheese is. Gone off milk with bugs and mould - that's why it tastes so good. Cows and bugs together have a good deal going down."

- Gareth Blackstock (Lenny Henry), Chef!

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