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Foodie dating Picky?


Alchemist
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Depends on attitude really. Not everyone is a foodie, I even know some chefs who are picky eaters. Both people should respect the other's limits, and things will likely work out.

Restaurants are a good place to test the limits of a picky eater as well, since some people are more willing to try new things if a professional is in charge of their meal (we've turned a few picky eaters into more adventurous eaters...). I know when I was a kid there were alot of vegetables I didn't enjoy - later in life I realized it's because my mom wasn't a very good cook (she could do the roast dinner thing alright, but had no idea and still doesn't on how to properly cook vegetables).

Also, even though I work as a professional cook, I probably qualify as somewhat picky. I'm not a fan of any invertebrates - I don't like the way they taste, and don't like what they are. I'll eat them, but would prefer not to. On the other hand, I'll eat absolutely any meat or fish, raw or fully cooked. And any vegetable is fair game. And in a restaurant people are able to respect my choices of food (where theres a ton of adventurous eaters), so I don't see why a foodie wouldn't be able to respect the choices of a picky non-foodie.

By the way, I've also worked with a few French chefs who absolutely hate broccoli. Refuse to have it in their restaurants, or to eat it. And they've worked in 2 and 3 star Michelin restaurants.

But really, this is more of a relationship issue than a food issue anyway. In a relationship respect and trust are just as important as things like love. You should be able to respect someones choices when it comes to foods - and a picky eater should be able to graciously decline the offending food. If someone is disrespectful of another in any way, the relationship won't work.

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My experience with picky eaters is that their attitude about food spills over into other areas. But love is blind, yes? And it apparently tastes like vanilla.

Whoa!! Don't go dragging vanilla into the argument. Vanilla is good shit! :biggrin:

My wife didnt eat red meat when I first met her. Turns out her mother was a horrible cook, so she was never exposed to good red meat. Now she craves it nearly as much as I do. She still isnt as adventurous as I am, but she is definately much better than she was.

"It's better to burn out than to fade away"-Neil Young

"I think I hear a dingo eating your baby"-Bart Simpson

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I am a foodie wannabe, my husband grew up on Velveeta and Spam and franks n' beans.

He recognizes good food, and he'll eat healthy things all day long, but his basic comfort level is bland and tasteless.

The only way I've been able to join in my foodie reindeer games was by making it a challenge to him. Do you like it better this way, or that way? Do you think it makes a difference if I do it this way or did you like it better like that?

As long as I can back it up with chowing down enthusiasm or...holy cow, this sucks, let's get Chinese... he's becoming more and more game as we go along.

The fact that he won't eat an onion makes me weep. Using onion powder when there's a lovely Vidalia sitting around....oh the horror. :laugh:

We've been married 4 years, fwiw, but it's the second time around for both of us.

“Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!”
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My experience with picky eaters is that their attitude about food spills over into other areas. But love is blind, yes? And it apparently tastes like vanilla.

Whoa!! Don't go dragging vanilla into the argument. Vanilla is good shit! :biggrin:

:laugh: You are right. And I meant "vanilla" in a good way. I love vanilla. Maybe Love tastes like chicken?

I heart :wub: love, but lust has more flavor.

On a more serious note, love tempers as to make things more palatable for both parties, doesn't it? Love overcomes?

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I've been running into this issue too. I just re-entered the meat market after a 5 year relationship with someone who would eat absolutely anything.

I have met some nice guys, but the food issue has been tough. I went out with a really sweet guy who did not know what skate wing was. All of my foodie friends told me to drop him like a hot potato--lol.

Considering the fact that food is such big part of my life, I would like to have a partner who shared the same passion for food. But, I am not sure I would pass on a gentleman just because he did not eat offal. Being a vegetarian is grounds for immediate dismissal though.

Edited by The Blissful Glutton (log)
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Considering the fact that food is such big part of my life, I would like to have a partner who shared the same passion for food. But, I am not sure I would pass on a gentleman just because he did not eat offal. Being a vegetarian is grounds for immediate dismissal though.

By and large relationships are about sharing passions, especially this passion that many of us have around things epicurean (almost by definition a shared experience). My partners don't have to have tastes that match mine, or even what I judge to be a sophisticated/educated palate, but they do have to have a willingness to indulge and experiment. And to not be judgmental.

Two quick anecdotes:

I lived with a woman once, not long ago, who initiated and took me to an amazingly innovative Thai restaurant just outside of San Francisco. She had the pad thai (of course), and I ordered a spiced frog leg dish. She watched me eat, then she stopped eating, pushed her plate away, and told me: "it makes me sad and disgusted that you would eat that". She stole my joy with that simple sentence, and it ruined the night for both of us.

A recent girlfriend, I took to a relatively high-end and experimental sushi restaurant here in Austin called Uchi. One of the best in the country. And I spent about $200, including the sake. She told me that it was good, but she just couldn't "appreciate food that cost more than about $20". That took away, for me, much of the joy of sharing my favorite restaurants with her. We'd still go, but less and less often. It created a dead spot for me. Fortunately, we liked to cook for each other, and that compensated.

I love wine, but can (and have) dated alcoholic women with no problem. A girl who's idea of ideal sunday brunch is waiting in line at the IHOP, and turns her nose up at Fonda San Miguel (or my eggs on my deck), different story.

I'd like to, but I don't have to, share my books, my art, my porn, the things that feed my inner life... but food, drink, socializing with my crowd, that's an important part of my outer life, and I need a partner who fits.

I've been around long enough to know that, given my lifestyle and tastes, 'has food issues' is an important indicator as to the kind of person I'm with, and whether I'll find ultimate compatibility. Which is what it's all about, because eventually you have to sober up, put on your clothes, and exist with this person you've chosen for yourself. What's important enough for you to keep that connection?

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I just celebrated my 11th anniversary; good thing my husband likes to eat in restaurants, I suppose. I've mentioned him here before. He hardly likes any foods. I think the likes list is much shorter than the dislikes. I love to cook and to try different things.

It was one of the hardest adjustments in our marriage--I used to cook all kinds of great things for him, only to have him push stuff around on his plate and make sour faces. It's a good thing I don't have much of a temper, because that could really set you off if you've taken a lot of time and effort to make a great meal. I had to learn to cook for myself. Sometimes he likes it; sometimes he doesn't. He has to take one bite, anyway.

I have had a few successes--he loves Thai food now even though he told me he hated it when we first met--of course he hadn't tried it, just assumed that he would hate it. Mostly I've just tried to adjust.

I love my husband, and maybe food doesn't seem like such a big deal to some people, but I've noticed that people who don't like experimenting with food often don't like experimenting with other things, either. Makes life a bit bland sometimes.

Edited by Terrasanct (log)
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It's all about compromise. I dated a guy who was extremely picky, while I'm hugely into food. It was annoying at times, but love was more important. Eventually I realized that you can't rely on one person to give you everything you need. So I had dinner parties and outings with friends who did love food as much as I, and focused on other enjoyable moments with my beau. We aren't together anymore (that's another topic), but I wouldn't say that the food issue was to blame. Little by little he's ventured into new foods, but I would never have wanted to force someone to do something just because it fit better into my world. People are different. Isn't that the fun part?

Julesy (Gypsy Foodist)

www.biscuitsbrioche.com

"It's So Beautifully Arranged On The Plate - You Know Someone's Fingers Have Been All Over It" – Julia Child

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The question of Make or Break... really isn't it. It's more of a "can I live with it as it is" thing. My bride does eat many things. After a decade of wonderful eating I have grown to the conclusion that IF I want to eat most Asian food, I need to go with somebody else. End of story. If I want fish... I can cook it for myself or go where they serve shellfish or other things that she loves. If it has gills and scales, she's out. You know what? It's a fairly small price to pay for a person who makes your heart sing. Besides, when she's in the kitchen she can do astounding things with all the remaining worlds of food... and that's a LOT of food. Going for Pho alone? I just bring a technical book and headphones. Tripe in the Menudo? Just don't rave out loud. Who else would help find unpasteurized cheese on our honeymoon? Who else would then eat 85% of it? Bless her pointy little head... I gotta cook my own liver and onions. Sheesh!

hvr :biggrin:

"Cogito Ergo Dim Sum; Therefore I think these are Pork Buns"

hvrobinson@sbcglobal.net

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I'd like to, but I don't have to, share my books, my art, my porn, the things that feed my inner life... but food, drink, socializing with my crowd, that's an important part of my outer life, and I need a partner who fits.

But finding someone with whom you can share both your love of food and your porn is priceless. She'll be the keeper. :biggrin:

Katie M. Loeb
Booze Muse, Spiritual Advisor

Author: Shake, Stir, Pour:Fresh Homegrown Cocktails

Cheers!
Bartendrix,Intoxicologist, Beverage Consultant, Philadelphia, PA
Captain Liberty of the Good Varietals, Aphrodite of Alcohol

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I, personally, think that food shouldn't really be an issue if you truly love some one or even if you're just friends. "I don't like/love you/can never have a life with you because you don't eat marrow/snails/sweetbreads......". It sounds kind of shallow and nitpicky to me.

I'm the picky one in our relationship and my husband is more adventurous. Of all the reasons I love him, his adventurous foodie spirit doesn't really come to mind at all. And if you asked him, I'm sure he's say the same thing. Kindness, compassion, what kind of person they are...these are things that should guide a serious relationship, not whether or not they're willing to eat a baboon's lung seared in herb butter or something weird like that. It just doesn't seem like an important criteria for a healthy relationship to me.

I do think it's nice that he's a foodie, it's cute that he gets so excited about that sort of thing and if wants to go out to some weird restaurant and eat exotic foods, I'll come along and order what I feel comfortable eating. And if I want to cook something simple and comforting like roasted chicken and mashed potatoes, he's fine with that too. Opposites really do attract and can live comfortably and happily together.

Turning your nose up at someone because they don't eat the same food as you....sounds like foodie snobbery to me.

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I don't think it's shallow or snobbery at all--it's a matter of having as many things in common as you can. Certainly helps the relationship. Food is one aspect of that, not everything. My husband and I both enjoy doing things apart, taking drives, exploring, and napping together. The food part is annoying, but it's just one thing. And he will try if I ask him to.

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I don't know if it's about eating the same foods as opposed to being open to trying new foods. My wife used to be an extremely picky eater, no greens, meat cooked to well done, no seafood, etc. Over the 22 years we've been together, she has changed quite a bit. While there are still things she doesn't like (ie. gamey meats, offal, etc), she is open to at least tasting something before she decides she doesn't like something. That being said, sushi restaurants and those with minimal offerings that she doesn't like are still places I need to hit with friends.

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