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Fat Guy

Alarming, amusing, amazing things other people do

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It has been what, three days now? I don't know if I will ever be able to look at either my cat box or my dish drainer again without laughing.

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Someone who cuts raw chicken on a cutting board, quickly brushes her towel over the board and then cuts onions for the salad.


"My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne."

John Maynard Keynes

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A confession of a weird thing I do: any garbage that can't go down the disposer goes in the freezer until trash day, unless it's the freezing cold dead of winter. I hate even the suggestion of food stink, and my household garbage can lives in my garage---so at any given time you may find shrimp shells, chicken bones or salmon skin in my freezer. Rather anal, wouldn't you say???? :wacko:


I may be in Nashville but my heart's in Cornwall

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Our Dear Friends invited us for a nice home-cooked dinner...

We finished eating, then Mr. Dear Friend placed the food smeared dinner plates on the kitchen floor. He called & whistled their dog and cat into kitchen.

Clarabell (dog) & Fern (cat) thoroughly lick off the plates.

Dear Friend said, "Oh, isn't this just great, they just love to clean the plates. I don't need to scrape the dishes. Cuts out most of the work from dishwashing."

Dear Friends do not have a dishwasher.

They only wash the tops of dishes, so plate bottoms are grimy/greasy.

That was the first and last meal at their home.

Sorry, but pet saliva lurgie cooties are not appetizing. :laugh:


Suzanne

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A confession of a weird thing I do:  any garbage that can't go down the disposer goes in the freezer until trash day, unless it's the freezing cold dead of winter.  I hate even the suggestion of food stink, and my household garbage can lives in my garage---so at any given time you may find shrimp shells, chicken bones or salmon skin in my freezer.  Rather anal, wouldn't you say???? :wacko:

I usually do that too :biggrin: I live in a town where you have to hire a private company to haul your trash. They charge per bag. Most of my waste is recyclable or goes into compost, but what you mentioned above goes into the freezer until I have a full bag of trash.

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A confession of a weird thing I do:  any garbage that can't go down the disposer goes in the freezer until trash day...

LOL LOL LOL, I used to HAVE to do that all the time. My dear departed miniature poodle Ella was a total trash thief. If it went into the kitchen trash, and was even remotely "foodie" smelling it was hers. And I'd find the evidence (shredded containers) strewn all over the house. She even licked out the container of wasabi from take out sushi once ! Brat. She must've had a cast iron stomach, nothing ever made her puke.

So if I had to put something into the trash after it had been emptied (usually daily, but sometimes not) into the refrigerator it would go for safe keeping and protection from Ella.

BTW, open trash can, well away from prep area, but out in the room (no cabinet space to stash it). However, emptied when full, or icky. Nothing wet/smelly/attractive to critters stays over night. Usually taken out each night after dinner.


--Roberta--

"Let's slip out of these wet clothes, and into a dry Martini" - Robert Benchley

Pierogi's eG Foodblog

My *outside* blog, "A Pound Of Yeast"

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Went to a friends for dinner, having drinks in the kitchen while he was gettin ready. not paying much attention as he plugged in his new electric wok.

Got it up to 8000º (or so) put some oil in , which immediatly started smoking, and before I could yell NOOOOOOOOO! poured in a cup of stock....Jeeze what a mess...

Bud

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so at any given time you may find shrimp shells, chicken bones or salmon skin in my freezer.  Rather anal, wouldn't you say???? :wacko:

Why not make stock?

Shel


 ... Shel


 

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Ok, I give..... what's wrong with putting knives in the dishwasher?? As long as there's nothing to bang them and you use liquid soap so they can't get marred, I fail to see how hot water could possibly hurt steel. What am I missing?

Over the course of my life I had never had both a dishwasher and good knives....untill a few years ago and the day came when I put my Henkles in the dishwasher and the handles cracked at the rivets

Ah..... I should've mentioned that when the wash cycle finishes I pull wooden spoons, tupperware, knives etc. out before the dry cycle can warp anything. I think the drying is what does it. Might be the wash cycle too but I'm too lazy to change my ways now.

A confession of a weird thing I do:  any garbage that can't go down the disposer goes in the freezer until trash day, unless it's the freezing cold dead of winter.  I hate even the suggestion of food stink, and my household garbage can lives in my garage---so at any given time you may find shrimp shells, chicken bones or salmon skin in my freezer.  Rather anal, wouldn't you say???? :wacko:

I do that too; everything disgusting goes in the freezer until trash day. We don't have disposals here but we do have green carts for composting, (and a mini green bucket for in the kitchen) and yes, organic garbage does rot a lot faster when lidded.

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Ah..... I should've mentioned that when the wash cycle finishes I pull wooden spoons, tupperware, knives etc. out before the dry cycle can warp anything. I think the drying is what does it. Might be the wash cycle too but I'm too lazy to change my ways now.

From what I understand, the phosphorus can wreak havoc with the steel and dull it. I don't know how true that is, but I hand wash big knives and only put the cheap paring knives in the dishwasher.

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Simply gross: I had a roommate who thought it was perfectly fine to dump kitty litter into our kitchen garbage "because it clumped."

The most alarming: I have a friend who is a wonderful cook, but she leaves the handles of her pots pointing out into the kitchen. It scares the bejeezus out of me, because she's really into deep frying -- there always seems to be a pan of hot oil bubbling away on the front burner. She's also got two young children. I mentioned it one time, and she said, "Oh, they know they're never supposed to get near the stove." :unsure: And she doesn't understand why I won't leave my son for playdates ....

Its grossness affected me for life: I cannot stomach butter from a butter dish. I must use a fresh stick of butter, which has been stored in ziplock freezer bags, if I'm spreading it across bread, corn on the cob, pancakes, etc. My grandmother never covered anything in her 1930s-era fridge, which barely kept the milk chilled. Her butter always tasted of onions or just vile, unclean fridge. She'd spread that butter thickly across my pancakes and force me to eat. Every. Last. Pancake.

35 years later, and I still gag thinking about it.


Diana Burrell, freelance writer/author

The Renegade Writer's Query Letters That Rock (Marion Street Press, Nov. 2006)

DianaCooks.com

My eGullet blog

The Renegade Writer Blog

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Although not particularly unsanitary, but unsetteling : Ive more than once seen Smokers heat up the burners of an electric range to a red glow and bend down with their face only a cigarette length from the burner to light up. This is especially un nerving when the Smoker in question is drunk, and leaves the burner on, presumablly for the next cig.

I once knew a guy who had an ingenius solution to his lack of a garbage disposal, in addition to using the freezer as a trash purgatory , he would scrape plates off into the toilet :shock: Again, not unsanitary, but just somehow not right either.

I can go one better than the Old School countertop meat thawers: Once as a child I once spent the summer with my grandparents and through an odd turn of events became the keeper of a small rabbit , before I could rig up a suitable pen for the bunny, my grandmother came out of the garage with a wooden framed box maybe 2 feet square, with window screen sides and top, with a hinged lid and latch .. Even at 8 I couldnt help but wonder just what Grandma had been keeping such a seemingly perect cage around for. " Your Father made this , to thaw steaks and chicken outside and not have to worry about the flies or cats getting in them." this was in Texas by the way.

Luckily , Mom divorced him before I started on solid food. Good one, Mom. :wub:


" No, Starvin' Marvin ! Thats MY turkey pot pie "

- Cartman

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so at any given time you may find shrimp shells, chicken bones or salmon skin in my freezer.  Rather anal, wouldn't you say???? :wacko:

Why not make stock?

Shel

And then, if you're my husband, put the leftover boiled-limp bones and vegetables into the freezer until trash day. :laugh:


Margo Thompson

Allentown, PA

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,

You're my little potato, they dug you up!

You come from underground!

-Malcolm Dalglish

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Our Dear Friends invited us for a nice home-cooked dinner...

We finished eating, then Mr. Dear Friend placed the food smeared dinner plates on the kitchen floor.  He called & whistled their dog and cat into kitchen.

Clarabell (dog) & Fern (cat) thoroughly lick off the plates.

Dear Friend said, "Oh, isn't this just great, they just love to clean the plates. I don't need to scrape the dishes. Cuts out most of the work from dishwashing."

Dear Friends do not have a dishwasher.

They only wash the tops of dishes, so plate bottoms are grimy/greasy.

That was the first and last meal at their home.

Sorry, but pet saliva lurgie cooties are not appetizing.  :laugh:

I must confess to the let-the-pets-lick-the-plates thing, but we always wash on the "sanitize" cycle in the dishwasher, with plenty of dishwashing powder. We don't let others see the pets licking the plates, but believe me, we wouldn't eat off them if there were any question about their cleanliness.

Washing off only the upper side of the plate? Yech!

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Our Dear Friends invited us for a nice home-cooked dinner...

We finished eating, then Mr. Dear Friend placed the food smeared dinner plates on the kitchen floor.  He called & whistled their dog and cat into kitchen.

Clarabell (dog) & Fern (cat) thoroughly lick off the plates.

Dear Friend said, "Oh, isn't this just great, they just love to clean the plates. I don't need to scrape the dishes. Cuts out most of the work from dishwashing."

Dear Friends do not have a dishwasher.

They only wash the tops of dishes, so plate bottoms are grimy/greasy.

That was the first and last meal at their home.

Sorry, but pet saliva lurgie cooties are not appetizing.  :laugh:

I must confess to the let-the-pets-lick-the-plates thing, but we always wash on the "sanitize" cycle in the dishwasher, with plenty of dishwashing powder. We don't let others see the pets licking the plates, but believe me, we wouldn't eat off them if there were any question about their cleanliness.

Washing off only the upper side of the plate? Yech!

I see nothing wrong with using pets as our "prewash" cycle.

What I do object to is my sister's practice of keeping her cats' litterbox in the kitchen!


SuzySushi

"She sells shiso by the seashore."

My eGullet Foodblog: A Tropical Christmas in the Suburbs

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I once knew a guy who had an ingenius solution to his lack of a garbage disposal, in addition to using the freezer as a trash purgatory , he would scrape plates off into the toilet  :shock:  Again, not unsanitary, but just somehow not right either.

Wow, haven't thought of that in years! My mom used to flush spoiled food back before we had a disposal. Kinda gross, but I'm not sure what a better solution would have been.

By the way, I should say RE:my freezer trash, that I don't have anywhere to have a compost and it's usually not enough to make stock. :sad:


I may be in Nashville but my heart's in Cornwall

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I don't wear shoes much. Even in the kitchen. Drives some people crazy. A friend of mind was disgusted by this and said so. What can happen?, I said. Like magic, about two minutes later, the greasy 8" chef's knife fell from my hand and BOINNNNG! Landed point down in the kitchen floor about a 1/2 inch from my big toe. Maybe he's right.

And it's not fair to bring up moms. Whose hasn't scrambled raw eggs in a bowl, cooked them , and then served them IN THE SAME BOWL WITHOUT WASHING IT! Love you mom!

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I don't wear shoes much.  Even in the kitchen.  Drives some people crazy.  A friend of mind was disgusted by this and said so.  What can happen?, I said.  Like magic, about two minutes later, the greasy 8" chef's knife fell from my hand and BOINNNNG!  Landed point down in the kitchen floor about a 1/2 inch from my big toe.  Maybe he's right.

And it's not fair to bring up moms.  Whose hasn't scrambled raw eggs in a bowl, cooked them , and then served them IN THE SAME BOWL WITHOUT WASHING IT!  Love you mom!

Yeah...shoes in the kitchen are a good idea. I spilled hot oil once all over my shoes and thought about the times I didn't have them.

On the eggs - I've done it, actually hot scrambled eggs hitting the remnants gets them hotter than the runny yolk of a soft-boiled egg. I actually think we tend to go a bit overboard on food dangers. Having a sunny side up egg with runny yolks is pretty much the same as eating a raw egg, but nobody except the most fanatical would object. I've seen exactly one case of someone getting sick from an egg, and that was 2 weeks ago when we had power outages amid 100-degree days (meaning refrigerators not working) and my upstairs neighbor at some eggs that were already rather old by any standards. It was not pretty. He had a 104 fever and such high leucocyte-or-something levels that they made him come back to the hospital twice more for checks. So...while living in fear of food is not good, some basic precautions are still in order!


"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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I don't wear shoes much.  Even in the kitchen.  Drives some people crazy.  A friend of mind was disgusted by this and said so.  What can happen?, I said.  Like magic, about two minutes later, the greasy 8" chef's knife fell from my hand and BOINNNNG!  Landed point down in the kitchen floor about a 1/2 inch from my big toe.  Maybe he's right.

And it's not fair to bring up moms.  Whose hasn't scrambled raw eggs in a bowl, cooked them , and then served them IN THE SAME BOWL WITHOUT WASHING IT!  Love you mom!

Yeah...shoes in the kitchen are a good idea. I spilled hot oil once all over my shoes and thought about the times I didn't have them.

Not just shoes, but ones that provide adequate protection. I spilled boiling water on one foot while wearing canvas shoes that were open on the top. It raised a blister several inches across. I left for a vacation in Florida two days later. I got to spend the next week as an already pale, pasty tourist wearing sandals (the only footwear that didn't touch the burn) with socks (to keep the dressing covered.) The embarrassment lasted longer than the pain.

I keep forgetting that lesson, though.

April


One cantaloupe is ripe and lush/Another's green, another's mush/I'd buy a lot more cantaloupe/ If I possessed a fluoroscope. Ogden Nash

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Drives me whacky:

Guests helping clearing the dinner table, Well not that, but

placing all plates, small and large, plus bowls and platters, randomly, and with all the silverware still on or in them, onto any free space on the countertops, including onto the stove. I try to rather poor more beverages quickly (which occupies them) and clear myself by insisting Thanks, but NO, Thanks.

The friends, the " more-often-now-comers ", got trained to either refrain from clearing, or are fully aware of all silverware (and in one 'direction' pointing) going into a pre-set large enough to hold all, shallow container with soapy water. All like-size plates stacked, ready to rinse before washing.

Please stay out of MY Kitchen !!!


Peter

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Helping wash up after cooking at friends places and handing dishes back to be rewashed 3 times. Makes me wonder what happens when I'm not there to police their hygiene..

My old cooking partner, oneday he lost his cloth for wipeing the dishes so he went into the bathroom and came back with the one he cleans the sink (and I'll assume the toilet) with. I bared access to the kitchen and told him if I was on the verge of never eating anything he cooks or even looks at ever again..

Also using plastic implements and leaving them sitting in the pot resting on the bottom when it's on the heat. When the edge of said implement is half melted down and warped one has to ask onself "Where did all that plastic go?"


"Alternatively, marry a good man or woman, have plenty of children, and train them to do it while you drink a glass of wine and grow a moustache." -Moby Pomerance

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Alarming: using the same sponge to wipe the kitchen counter as to wipe up a spill from the floor (and no. . . the floor was not clean enough to eat off!).

Amazing: My husband's cousin's husband (in France) slicing a baguette by holding both the bread and the knife in the air and letting the slices fall into a serving basket several inches below it. He says he always does it that way so he doesn't need to wash a cutting board!

This is a particularly European way to conduct the slicing of a loaf, other than simply tearing it. Holding the bread and slicing by cutting towards oneself so that guests may see the simplicity of the excercise, is, besides practical, symbolic of hospitality and the act of offering.


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I don't wear shoes much.  Even in the kitchen.  Drives some people crazy.  A friend of mind was disgusted by this and said so.  What can happen?, I said.  Like magic, about two minutes later, the greasy 8" chef's knife fell from my hand and BOINNNNG!  Landed point down in the kitchen floor about a 1/2 inch from my big toe.  Maybe he's right.

And it's not fair to bring up moms.  Whose hasn't scrambled raw eggs in a bowl, cooked them , and then served them IN THE SAME BOWL WITHOUT WASHING IT!  Love you mom!

I had a fillet knife fall off the counter and stick in the top of my foot....luckily it didnt hit anything important,,,

Bud

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Not at a home but at a Japanese restaurant where I (very briefly) worked: additions to the miso soup (tofu, spring/green onion) were placed in the bowl using fingers; left over liquids (soup etc.) were poured down the drain in the floor which then of course flooded so the entire kitchen floor was wet; uneaten fruit from the set menu dessert would be placed into another bowl and "topped up" for the next victim. After two shifts I quit in disgust! Unfortunately I didn't have the courage to ring the health department.

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Amazing: My husband's cousin's husband (in France) slicing a baguette by holding both the bread and the knife in the air and letting the slices fall into a serving basket several inches below it. He says he always does it that way so he doesn't need to wash a cutting board!

This is a particularly European way to conduct the slicing of a loaf, other than simply tearing it. Holding the bread and slicing by cutting towards oneself so that guests may see the simplicity of the excercise, is, besides practical, symbolic of hospitality and the act of offering.

Welcome to eGullet!

I'm glad to know it's not just his eccentricity! :smile:


SuzySushi

"She sells shiso by the seashore."

My eGullet Foodblog: A Tropical Christmas in the Suburbs

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