Guilt Free Junk

[Busboy]

I stumbled across a hysterically funny (and illuminating, but I am a guy) review by Sandra Tsing Loh of Joan Sewell's I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido, in a recent Atlantic Magazine that contained this passage regarding a couple of Loh's friends: "Teri and Pat have had a special Monday-night ritual. They order an extra-large cheese pizza," While they wait for their pizza, "they settle in on the couch with large twin bags of Doritos. Each chip is dipped first in cream cheese and then in salsa. Cream cheese, salsa. Cream cheese, salsa.... The Doritos are finished to the last crumb, and then, upon arrival, the pizza as well."

A junk food tube-out! Not every night, but not only enjoyed, but ritualized -- inscribed as an essential, quasi-religious part of their lives and their relationship. And, by prior arrangement, guilt free! What a concept.

And then I realized that my family has a similar ritual (though not, I hasten to add, as a substitute for other types of familial interaction). It used to be called "anarchy dinner" and generally involved a rented video. Then it was "House" night, since "House" is the only TV show all four of us really liked since The Simpson's jumped the shark, and now it's "Ugly Betty" night since we can't have two pathetically TV-oriented meals in the same week and "House" is on late ebnough to actually cook a real meal.

I pick up the pizzas, which must be from Vace and re-crisped on the pizza stone, and then the four of us do our own special add-ons -- from garlic powder to truffle oil -- and head downstairs, crowding onto the futon to watch that spunky Queeens Latina save that poor little rich boy's butt one more time. (Then I hustle my daughter upstairs before greys Anatomy comes on!). And, as with Teri and Pat, it all comes guilt-free. (Though it is indeed the frisson of guilt which liftes the experience from good to great. Also, if there's some especially bitchy dialogue).

Anybody else out there ritually abuse the concept a "proper" [family or otherwise] meal like this, just for the cheap thrill of it?

[annecros]

This has been the best part of the empty nest for me. No pressure to cook a full meal, if we don't want one. No requirement to sit at the table, we cuddle on the couch and yell at whatever is on the TV, if we want. No rules, breakfast for dinner, cheap chinese takeout for dinner, a steak and a hunk of bread and blue cheese with no pressure for a veggie, if we want to.

Then, there is the seven courses cooking and eating over a lazy weekend day selecting the courses as we go along, when we want to.

Oh, and the sometimes "I'm having ramen and an egg" and "OK I'll have a chef salad" because we want to.

Most weeknight evenings we still have dinner at the table together, well rounded with all the food groups represented. We don't feel guilty a bit, though. All those years of "whoever hits the door first after work starts a balanced meal for five" we consider our dues.

[Kouign Aman]

Thursday nights, everyone is home for dinner.

That's pizza night. We're working on making our own, as thats cooking the 2.5 yr old munchkin can help with. We dont worry about adding a veggie to that meal, if one doesnt land on the pizza.

With the warmer weather, we may modify it to picnic night and eat on the back lawn - pate, cheese, salty bits, pickles, etc.

[Sonia]

When I'm home alone I will have microwaved popcorn. ice cream and maybe some toast with butter, peanut butter and jelly. I'm happy.

[LindsayAnn]

Most Friday's we order pizza - either delivery or carryout.

We've been working on finding our favorite place...i.e ordering from a diff. joint each week.

I now find myself asking others in the Chicago are "so, where do you order pizza from? What is your fav?"....trying to find out the best place!

Current #1 was a Linz (me) find - cafe luigi (on clark street just north of fullertin in the Lincoln Park neigborhood)....so good. I have to admit though - it's traditional New York style pizza....I do love it though! Huge, long, thin floppy slices with your topping of choice (black olive for me spicy sausage for the boy) slathered on every lil bit!

[maggiethecat]

It's fascinating that pizza performs as guilt-free junk ritual, and my household is no different. For decades we've started the dough late Sunday afternoon, thrown the pie together around six pm and turned on the TV for the first time in seven days to watch a DVD I've rented from the library.

I don't think a well-chosen or well-made pizza is junk, of course. Maybe the traditional Friday morning Krispy Kremes at work are closer to the mark.

[hjshorter]

None of that homemade stuff for us. No no no. We don't even do gourmet takeout. Papa John's pizza, with the crusts lovingly dipped in the "garlic grease," or burgers on fluffy white buns with (gasp) Heinz ketchup and French's mustard, or frozen waffles with sausage and a ton of maple syrup. If it's a really ugly week, that calls for hot dogs with hormel chili and tater tots. Then the popcorn with 4 Tbs. of butter. And a Disney movie, since the kids are too little for "Ugly Betty" or the like.

[chow guy]

We call our junk food ritual " road food". When ever we have to drive more than four hours, we seize the chance to pig out on chips, dips, pretzels, caramel corn, licorice, gum drops and all manner of stuff we rarely eat otherwise, and with barely an ounce of guilt.

[Toliver]

Not necessarily true junk food, but when I was a kid, my mom made sure every Saturday night was "fun" food night. The rotating menu was homemade pizza, tacos, hamburgers, Sloppy Joes, etc, usually accompanied with homemade milkshakes. We usually used paper plates that night, as well.

No serious food need apply on Saturday nights.

It worked out great as we got older because the food was usually grabbed "to go" as we went out the door to hang out with friends, go to movies, and so on.

I still carry on the tradition to this day.

[Pontormo]

And then I realized that my family has a similar ritual (though not, I hasten to add, as a substitute for other types of familial interaction).  It used to be called "anarchy dinner" and generally involved a rented video.  Then it was "House" night, since "House" is the only TV show all four of us really liked since The Simpson's jumped the shark, and now it's "Ugly Betty" night since we can't have two pathetically TV-oriented meals in the same week and "House" is on late ebnough to actually cook a real meal. 

I pick up the pizzas, which must be from Vace and re-crisped on the pizza stone, and then the four of us do our own special add-ons -- from garlic powder to truffle oil -- and head downstairs, crowding onto the futon to watch that spunky Queeens Latina save that poor little rich boy's butt one more time.  (Then I hustle my daughter upstairs before greys Anatomy comes on!).  And, as with Teri and Pat, it all comes guilt-free.  (Though it is indeed the frisson of guilt which liftes the experience from good to great.  Also, if there's some especially bitchy dialogue).

Anybody else out there ritually abuse the concept a "proper" [family or otherwise] meal like this, just for the cheap thrill of it?

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Ironic isn't it that when TV is accused of eroding the tradition of the family meal, you manage to use the medium for good. (And I do think Vace's is better than Swanson's. Next time, order half a pound of Prosciutto di Parma on the side and drape it, uncooked, on top of your reheated pie with a thin salad of arugula, Parmesan curls and olive oil in between where the leaves wilt.)

* * *

Footnote: Has anyone else observed the necklace that our Betty has wearing lately? She's Henry's, for sure.

Edited March 16, 2007 by Pontormo (log)

[Jean Blanchard]

One of the best things about being empty nesters - it's now "proper" to have a martini before dinner. Sometimes, that pretty much IS dinner.

[Lilija]

Camping! The only time we buy stuff like Doritos, canned chili, Yoo Hoo, and Little Debbie snackycake chemical enhanced goodness. Somehow, eaten outdoors, in between meals (as meals...) it's fine. Really, it's ok.

(This isn't the only stuff we bring camping, but it has its place)

[shellfishfiend]

We call our junk food ritual " road food". When ever we have to drive more than four hours, we seize the chance to pig out on chips, dips, pretzels, caramel corn, licorice, gum drops and all manner of stuff we rarely eat otherwise, and with barely an ounce of guilt.

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We do the same thing.

I would not normally buy an ICEE. But, on long road trips, I crave and need a cherry/Coke ICEE. Often, I will pair the ICEE with apple rings (this is a candy..not dried apple). I will go into a sugar coma one day, but will do it guilt free. What happens in the car, stays in the car.

[mizducky]

Heh. This may be yet another reason for my lifelong passion for Asian cuisine. When I was a kid, getting Chinese takeout was one of my family's favorite fun food dinners, so from a very young age I had a really positive mental association with that style of food.

My family also did the occasional grazing meal, usually over the weekend--pull all the odds and ends of deli meats and cheeses out of the fridge, augment with bread, crackers, pickles, maybe a sliced onion and/or tomato, and assemble as each person sees fit.

These days, it's not so much guilt I have to deal with, as physics -- the calories have to wind up somewhere, after all, and if I don't burn 'em off, where they wind up is my butt. But I've still made room for a few free-snacking indulgences here and there. And like I said, I think of Asian cuisines as fun food, so all I have to do is cook myself a big batch of mapo tofu and I can have all the food fun I want.