My companion and I arrived for our 6:30 reservation at 5:45, taking the advice of a friend (and fellow eGers) to come early and have a glass of Champagne in the garden. It was advice well heeded, as the garden is a wonderfully quiet and serene place to unwind after a day of probable wine touring. The chairs could be more comfortable, possibly outfitted with some cushions as guests are donning formalwear, but pleasant nonetheless. The service staff poured the water and champagne so quietly I swore they did not want to disturb the plants. Once seated in the upstairs dining room, a room with only 5 tables with very little lighting, service is now at its slowest. It was nice to acclimate to the room and the view behind me, but the slowness bordered on neglect. Our captain greeted our table about three to five minutes after we sat, a few minutes later water was served, and after about twenty minutes, menus were presented. A brief description of the menus followed, and with three choices (a Chef’s Tasting, a Vegetable Tasting, and a modified Prix Fixe menu) one does have much control over the dining experience. We ordered the Chef’s Tasting at $135 a person with a wine pairing for me. Be aware that the pairing may cost up as much as $100 per person and although you will get great wines, the cost is not mentioned. The wine list surprisingly lacks depth and is extremely overpriced in comparison to other Napa restaurants. The list does not specialize in any one region, opting to offer a short selection from major producing countries with a few marquee Châteaux and producers. Wine service, however, was treated with utmost care and respect. Our meal begins with the “Oysters and Pearl,” a dish I had read about numerous times and to be frank, never appealed to me in print. I was dead wrong, as the combination of baked tapioca pearls in sabayon topped with Osetra caviar, a Malpeque oyster and chopped chive is one I will never forget. The sheer complexity of the dish: sweet and salty, chewy and soft, cold and hot, was extraordinary. It was paired with the Divine Droplets sake; sake being a current phenomenon in restaurants these days as I was poured it twice in two wine pairings. Its melon delicacy and mouth-coating texture was a perfect foil to the tapioca and caviar. We opted for the Hearts of Palm with French Laundry Garden Radishes as our next course in lieu of the foie gras. The foie gras torchon comes with a ridiculous $20 supplemental charge per person. Granted it’s no longer prudent to mince dollars and cents when dinner is costing this much, but it’s rather gratuitous on their part. The hearts of palm salad was light, refreshing, and a very nice first course. Next were two fish dishes: Chatham Bay Cod with Oven Roasted Tomatoes and Thyme Mousse and Lobster Mitts with Silver Queen Corn Pudding. Of these two, the lobster was possibly the best representation of Keller’s cooking. The preparation was simple, but all of the components worked together in such harmony I swear I heard music even though there was none in the dining room. I can still recall the sweetness of the corn—literally sweeter than sugar—and complemented with a white Burgundy that made the lobster seem richer than the butter it was poached in. As any wine lover must notice with any tasting menu, the majority of dishes are white wine oriented. After four white wine courses, I looked forward to seeing some red on the table. I am poured an Oregon Pinot Noir and served Poulard with Royal Blenheim Apricots, a species of apricot that is indigenous to California that ripens from the inside out. A slice of crisped skin and roasted Cépe Mushrooms accompanies. Our main course was Elysian Fields Lamb with Melted Garden Garlic and Italian Eggplant, and as Keith Martin’s lamb is the best in the US, if not the world, the dish was clearly superlative. The wine was the French Laundry label Cabernet Sauvignon (the proper name I’ve forgotten) which was disappointingly unbalanced and far too tight and astringent for the elegance of the lamb. Proceed to a composed cheese course of Brin d’Amour, the wonderful herb-laded sheep’s milk cheese from Corsica. A flurry of desserts is served: the now-famous Coffee and Doughnuts, a very respectable Manjari Chocolate Tart with Burnt Sugar Ice Cream and Fleur de Sel, and when you think you’re finished, a small taste of Crème Brûlèe and Pink Peppercorn Panna Cotta. Service meanwhile, is at its best, consistent. There is nothing spectacular or charming about the dining room service, but the do their job well and few mistakes are made. You will be showed the way to the restroom once and that’s all. No one will tuck you into your chair upon your return. Bread was served to my guest while she was away and I was asked to describe the two styles to her. At one point in my pairing, a used glass was set down on the table. Upon pointing it out, the offending party immediately replaced the glass and apologized profusely. I had to ask for coffee and later flagged down the water to receive a refill. When the coffee poured for me was cold, it took another five minutes for someone to surface to replace the cup. Ladies are served first when convenient, especially for deuces when I was served first more often than not. The dining room staff had many opportunities to impress but did not execute on any of them. However, despite all the aforementioned, my guest and I were very well taken care of, servers are friendly and answered all my questions politely, and most importantly are intensely proud of the restaurant they work at. With all of the aggravation in getting a reservation, the confirmation process and even finding the place on the one main-street town of Yountville, it is the closest three-star Michelin experience in the United States. Although the setting could not be more idyllic, it is reassuring to know that it’s not the view that I left enamoured with. I’m disappointed to think that I will have to plan so far ahead to get another taste of the lobster and corn pudding, the pearl tapioca and caviar or the semi-freddo with warm cinnamon foam. I left the French Laundry very full, mildly drunk, I did take the clothespin but forgot to ask the most vital question of all: what’s with all those damn quotes on the menu?
