I hate when that happens, because it means I'm not going to be good buddies with the server -- I'm going to have to go around him or her; they shouldn't put you in that position. So, you just have to say, "We'd like to speak to the sommelier about our wine order, please." If the restaurant has a sommelier, you shouldn't feel bad about asking to speak to the sommelier. What the heck else is the sommelier there for? If the server says, "Is there anything I can answer," just smile and repeat yourself, "We'd like to speak to the sommelier about our wine order, please." Don't feel bad about it. Indeed, if you feel the server has been obstructionist, you should mention it to the sommelier. That's not a situation I've ever come across. BYO isn't all that common in New York, and when I'm traveling elsewhere I don't have access to my wine collection (if you can call it that). So I'm not particularly experienced when it comes to BYO etiquette. Someone else is going to have to chime in here. Is this something that's done? My guess is no, but I don't really know. I have yet to see a BYO restaurant with a somelier, since they usually don't sell wine. However, if you want to enhance your dining experience, send a glass of your wine to the chef. You might be pleased with what he might send back. We had special dessert on the house after we did it last time...