jace
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Posts posted by jace
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AFA Top Chef, even I was put off by Andrew's swearing. But when someone is working in the kitchen and touches a hot pan, drops something, or screws up when plating, I don't find it offensive at all. In fact, I hardly notice it. It's when someone is just talking conversationally, as when Andrew was doing his interview, that it grates on me.
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I think I'm afraid of Reefpimp. Anybody with me?
No way. I think the reefpimp and I would get along famously! Ever heard of the fruitbasket? I'm not getting into specifics but it can get ugly, and involves male on male non-consensual groping.
One time, our sous left for a week long vacation and left his knife roll at work. So myself
and the saute cook snatched it, filled it with corn starch and zipped it up. We then dunked it in a lexan full of water and set it in the freezer till he got back.
He wasn't happy.
Another good one is to put salt cod in steamed milk and throw it in the chefs office and close the door. It'll make the place smell like a gynaecologists office at fat camp.
If you don't get fired it's only further encouragement to push it as far as you can go....
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Starters like soup or salad with no utensils. (this usually happens when I eat at the bar)
Serving a course when I've gone to smoke.
Dirty or cracked wine glasses or plates.
Forgetting proper condiments.
Telling me that what I want on the menu isn't available. Somethings I understand, like they had to 86 the fish special. But when I want a glass of orange juice, I don't give a damn what time it is, I want fucking orange juice!!!
These are just when I go to dine. I have a whole list of things that irritate me as a professional cook that servers have a bad habit of doing.
The worst is:
"Do you have table 46 working?"
"No. Did you fire it?"
"No. I just thought....." (insert excuse here)
"We don't fire ANYTHING without a FIRE TICKET!!!!!"
Do FOH cats think us cats on the line are psychic? WTF?! DO YOUR JOB!!!!!
One thing always puts a smile on my face though. I love it when servers cut themselves cutting lemons or bread or something retarded like that. Shows how inept they are at even the most mundane of tasks.
Yeah, I'm a dick.....................
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I used to keep a sani bucket with a dry towel next to it on my station back in the day.
Change the bucket out through service, time permitting of course, but your chef should'nt have a problem with that. Then again, if He/She has a problem with a towel on your apron strap, maybe you should question the logic there. If your chef believes that hands stay immaculate through a service period, should be checked into the mental ward. I don't care what station you're on. I agree that wiping your hands on your jacket
and apron is not only unprofessional, but it's fucking disgusting.
If you saw a chef or a cook in a reputable restaurant with a bunch of hand smears all over and coated with blood and dressing and everything else wouldn't you be just a little distressed if that shit was ending up in your food?
It's good that you recognize this problem and are searching for an answer. Personally, I'd talk to the chef rationally and see if he'd might bend the rules a bit or offer an option as to how he wants you to work. If he's a dick about it, quit. Plenty of cooking jobs out there pal. In the long run this is one of the smallest of problems in a kitchen. You'll figure it out.
You've got no choice.
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I don't have any questions but I'm very fascinated by all of this. I have often wondered how in the hell a high-end kitchen makes it all come together. I would like to visit a kitchen, better yet, I wish there some YouTube videos of a high-end kitchen rocking and rolling through a rush.
Good luck with that pal. Most kitchens are very efficient because they're behind those doors. There's a reason for this, cooks and chefs alike are very territorial, piratical, and foul mouthed. That's OUR home. Intruders are rarely welcome. Even new hires are chastised or ignored until they have somehow proven themselves to be accepted. Servers will NEVER by any form be tolerated on the line.
The thought of a customer or a film crew on the line is not only not gonna happen because of pride and space, but also because it's a dangerous place to be if you don't know what you're doing.
There are other options for you, though. I would suggest dining at an "expo" restaurant, i.e. someplace with an open kitchen. There are tons of them in every metro city across the U.S. and it gives a good idea as to what we're up to back there. Request
a table near to the action and enjoy the show. Ask questions if you want, but do yourself a favor, don't try to yak at 'em when they're in the rush. We HATE that. Even from other cooks.
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I always say "watch your legs!" when I'm diving into an oven or tossing blazing hot saute pans into the dish crates. Definitely fair warning to those around me I'm throwing a fair amount of heat at their lower extremities.
Another is callbacks. Very important to communicate back to your mid or wheel guy calling tix while on grill or saute. For example:
"ORDER IN! Two Tenderloin one med one med well, One scallops, One New York med rare, two Duck both med, and a veg entree!!"
so, the callback goes like this:
GRILL
"Two Filet, med, med well! One New York med rare! Thank You!!"
SAUTE
"One Scally, two duck med, Veg!! Thank You!!"
You get the idea
Kitchen speak rules.
Greatest Kitchen Practical Jokes
in Restaurant Life
Posted
The other day a vegetarian server thought it would be funny to throw ice down the back of my chef jacket. So, I filled her purse up with tenderloin scraps and threw anchovies in her coat pockets.