Old Number 7

I dunno. I suppose I'm receptive to the idea that different types of alcohol deliver a different type of buzz. Indeed, I feel a certain level of giddiness when drinking champagne that is entirely different than the soft numbing effect I get from drinking whiskey. But I still don't know about a certain type of liquor -- and especially a certain brand of liquor -- making you mean or aggressive or angry, etc. I just doubt that someone can drink the same amount of vodka and the same amount of tequila and be a nice, sweet drunk on the vodka and a raging lunatic on the tequila. To me, this kind of stuff is what people do when they don't want to try something or when they're stuck on a certain brand that they've always drunk just because, well, they've always drunk it. If you don't want to drink something, fine, but don't give it qualities it doesn't have to justify your decision.

How many times do I have to run into someone that tells me they "can't drink tequila because it makes me crazy" before I spontaneously combust? Is there any hard evidence for this nonsensical claim? I'm not talking about old anecdotes about the time you got plastered back during your Tri-Delt days on some cheap margaritas or when you and your boys did Cuervo shots before playing naked flag football on the college quad. Was that tequila's fault? I also hear stuff like, "I can't drink tequila; I get mean when I drink it." Mean? You don't get mean when you drink beer, but you do when you drink tequila? Does tequila with, say, 40% alcohol really make someone act wackier/meaner/drunker/stupider than vodka with 40% alcohol does? For that matter, what about certain brands? Some dude told me recently that he abstains from Wild Turky because it makes him obnoxious. Apparently Evan Williams has no effect on the levels of his obnoxiousness. Is this possible? I say "no." Actually, go ahead and make it a "hell no."