When I waited tables: Asked the question only when I didn't have time to count the money being offered. Would never do this if the amount offered obviously did not include tip (i.e. C-note for $65 tab, etc.) Now that I don't wait tables: Doesn't really bother me, but again, if the difference between bill and amount offered is obviously not the tip, to me it implies one of two things about the server: (a) presumptuous or (b) clueless. Either option diminishes the chance of me leaving a little something extra. In the end, it's all part of the dance. But unless you're in a really nice place, nothing to get too wound up about. A somewhat related pet peeve: When you belly up to the bar, order a $4 drink (no, I don't live in NYC - there are actually $4 drinks where I live), and let's say you pay with a five. Bartender brings $1 change back and sets it in front of you. Several minutes pass. Bartender comes along, grabs bill, stuffs in tip jar. Couple of points: I'm going to leave the $1 anyway unless the bartender is a complete jerk. But no way should s/he pick up the bill unless I've left, or otherwise indicated they're to keep the change. If the bartender is really, really busy, it's no big deal (lord knows I have a lot of huge-tip bartender karma to pay off), but when it's only moderately busy, it bugs me. One of those irritating situations where it's not worth the trouble to make a big deal about it, especially if you like the place or you're with friends. Just something that gets under my skin. Thanks for the opportunity to rant. :)