I. Reilly

Self promotion, next to killing lobsters, will get you nowhere when THE MAN is thumbing through your file. Book store chefs are but "scabrous rectum kissers", cardboard cutouts of genius.

Yeah Invento, YOU'RE NUTS. But things could be worse right? You could be on television proving to everyone that you're not what your reputation belied. It's an affliction that was commonly known as Ubridaled Flayism but has come be known as Rocco's Achillian Meatball Syndrome. Why is the big push for celebrity so important anyhow? Don't tell me you're angling for the big deal too. Man, stay underground, hide from the camera.

We all did . . . Tony's like a breathe of fresh air . . . Maybe, but Tony's breath is heavy with stale beer and raw meat.

What did you guys think you'd find when you opened your eyes to this? Do you non restaurant-lifers think all chefs are respectable? The fact that Rocco smeared egg on his face with his poor nod to RAO's and subsequent titty baby management techniques is a beautiful psychological experiment designed, I think, to bolster chefs hollier than thou images. Everyone should be made to put their heads in the stock and glare frightfully at the hanging guillotine. It builds character. He knows he screwed up, and maybe even planned it to work out that way. He's now my favorite everyman. I like the guy now with all of his figurative acne and bad karma. He's real, not that yin and yanger on Melting Pot.

What happened on The Restaurant to me is indicative of the whole shebang amigos. Hasn't every one worked with some of these mongoloid/superstar/egg on face archtypes. I mean come on, squishing your ugly faces up to your 27 inch so you can feel Rocco's shame is kin to the American pasttime of catcalling the lardassios who break dance for money. "Hey Santa Claus, Denny Terrio you ain't, now hand me the double dipper you simple dreamer." The fact that Rocco sold his mom into slave labor was only a delicious byproduct of the need for televisionians to slaughter their own. It was a rubberneckers paradise, "He did what?" "Ohh that pretty boy dick. I'm not gonna watch that crap anymore." Meanwhile this infantile complainee is off masturbating to kiddy porn. I think the show was Falstaffian in its message and although momma's meatballs kicked Rocco's foie gras/what the fuck is that green stuff image down a notch I like the fact that the guy stepped into his own poop and showed it around.

Not really getting you with the buying groceries thing friend. I'm a little thick. If any one of them West Coast oldies but goodies should be ashamed of himself it's that annoying Wolfgang Puck. He's always gesturing on that show all wild, and he's just plum rude to his guests, and his English is much worse than Emeril's. I like Alice cause I know Alice. Met her once and ate at Chez Panisse back in 1977. No one can do rabbit food like Mrs. Waters....and she's a hoot to share a cold one with. I didn't get no big head thing from her at all, oh to the contrary, to the contrary. She's about as gentle as a flower petal. All bright eyed and smart too.

Well let me be the first to call that Jerimiah Tower guy a hipster doofus. Putting down that sweet Alice Waters like that, man ought to be ashamed of himself. I ain't even heard of that fella.

i ain't eatin' but my gut is full of Abita Turbodog...may get around to some good lovin' if the mrs. will oblige. there IS a nice slice of alligator jambolaya pie waiting for me but i'm too drunk right now to think about such things.

We're on a Bayou tour right now here in Louisiana. Freshly killed gator meat is abundant around these parts apparently. I watched mine being slaughtered...pretty fun stuff. The gator didn't even flinch when that crazy guy with the rubber bib filleted him down. I'd say you care for it more like fish. We cooked it up in my mobile kitchen and fed the neighbors....

Freshly killed alligator chowder, triple espresso Frappucino with a shot of Ten High (redneck speedball) and a bag of pork rinds.

We absolutely couldn't live without it. We used to tow a 27"Airstream. In fact we went through two of them in the late eighties, early nineties. But I've had no trouble and great gas mileage out of the RoadTrek. The countertops are all fiberglass--which I've updated with some chopping block and a nifty built-in knife rack. Our copper pots are proudly displayed above the sink, facing out on the changing scenes. I highly recommend the RoadTrek. It's 19', plenty for what we do.

Sounds wicked. Yeah, we love raidin' the grocery store--especially late at night when the weirdos come out. Oh by the way, I travel 8 to nine months a year in my new RoadTrek with my wife Lynne. I'm based-if you can call it that out of a small town named Milford, Mass. That's where our house is. You may need to know that. I used to be a private chef but retired last year. I did a lot of celebrity jobs...my favorite being Elvis Costello....guy knows how to eat. I travelled with him on his Spike Tour in 1989. You'd think he'd be eating crumpets and finger sandwiches but he's a lot more cosmo than you'd think. So now we just motor around looking for kicks and stay at campsites and cook in our kitchen. We've refitted the rig with a kitchen that would make The Surreal Gourmet blush. Good to be hear.

Luckily we have a large refridgerator in our bus that's plenty enough big to store fresh meat. So we often end up eating a lot of things like venison and sometimes quail. Personally, I can't stand eating too much venison but don't tell my wife. She loves the stuff. By the way, I really like this website, a little intimidating maybe but it sure seems like I could learn a lot here.

Wow. Really attractive site. I love Alice...