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Don't Try This at Home


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#1 bourdain

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:43 PM

Coming in October, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME--a collection of culinary meltdowns, humiliating clusterfucks, worst moments, misadventures, low-points and absurd confrontations from:

Ferran Adria, Jose Andres, Dan Barber, Mario Batali, Michelle Bernstien, Heston Blumenthal, Daniel Boulud, yours truly, Jimmy Bradley, Scott Bryan, David Burke, Sam Clarke, Tom Collicchio, Scott Conant, Richard Corrigan, Tamasin Day-Lewis, Tom Douglas, Wylie Dufresne, Jonotahn Eismann, Claudia Fleming, Gabrielle Hamilton, Fergus Henderson, Paul Kahan, Hubert Keller, Michael Lomanoco, Pino Luongo, Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feninger, Sara Moulton, Tamara Murphy, Cindy Pawlcyn, Neil Perry, Michel Richard, Eric Ripert, Alan Sailhac, Marcus Samuelsson, Bill Telepan, Laurent Torondel, Tom Valenti, Norman Van Aken and Geoffrey Zakarian.

How do you spell schaudenfreude?
abourdain

#2 SobaAddict70

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:49 PM

Is this a book or a television series...? :blink:

#3 ludja

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:49 PM

Coming in October, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME--a collection of culinary meltdowns, humiliating clusterfucks, worst moments, misadventures, low-points and absurd confrontations from:

...
How do you spell schaudenfreude?

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Ok, I'll be a smartass and answer: "schadenfreude"...

Sounds like a show that will be a great source of entertainment for people here and elsewhere.

Do you know if it is on cable or not?

edited to add: Good question Soba; for some reason I assumed it was on tv...

Edited by ludja, 03 June 2005 - 02:51 PM.

"Under the dusty almond trees, ... stalls were set up which sold banana liquor, rolls, blood puddings, chopped fried meat, meat pies, sausage, yucca breads, crullers, buns, corn breads, puff pastes, longanizas, tripes, coconut nougats, rum toddies, along with all sorts of trifles, gewgaws, trinkets, and knickknacks, and cockfights and lottery tickets."

-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, 1962 "Big Mama's Funeral"


#4 touaregsand

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:50 PM

How do you spell schaudenfreude?


like this

Schadenfreude

EDIT: crosspost with ludja

Edited by touaregsand, 03 June 2005 - 02:51 PM.


#5 brooklyncook

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:54 PM

I suspect it's a book; I wouldn't consider much on television to be a "collection" of anything.

Color me geeked. Can't wait to get my hands on it!

#6 BCinBC

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:57 PM

I too am suspecting (hoping) book. Otherwise, I imagine the episodes taking the form of jovial interview / narration overlaying cheap Crime Stopper style re-enactments of said bad moments... Which might be funny in a Saturday Night Live context, but could get old quick. :biggrin:

#7 bourdain

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 03:01 PM

Book. 1st person accounts...
abourdain

#8 peppyre

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 03:03 PM

Oooohhh Yay! So when can we expect this (I hope) new book?

#9 merrybaker

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 03:03 PM

Book. 1st person accounts...

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It sounds like guilty fun. Did you compile it?

#10 touaregsand

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 03:15 PM

Oooohhh Yay!  So when can we expect this (I hope) new book?

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Wild guess. OCTOBER.

#11 chefdg

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Posted 03 June 2005 - 10:03 PM

I'm sure that when this publication comes out many people will read it and be very enchanted by the embarrising stories that the well-known chefs will have so reluctanctly shared with the reading audiences. The problem I have with this sort of thing is, I will read it and think to myself "self, that has happened to me". So does it make these embarrising moments not so embarrising if it happened to a Sara Moulton or Norman Van Aiken? Or, will it make me feel in some way connected with this person or that person? No, it will piss me off that my story is being told by someone else, and that person is getting all the recognition, and money for it. That's my opinion.

Edited by chefdg, 03 June 2005 - 10:15 PM.

"He could blanch anything in the fryolator and finish it in the microwave or under the salamander. Talented guy."

#12 Skepchick

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 02:40 AM

Who's the publisher?

#13 Tonyy13

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 06:29 AM

Are you kidding me? This is a modern day miracle, getting chefs, in general, to admit any kind of wrong doing, let alone putting their stories in a book that is really putting the guns to the mistakes that they have made. I mean, we all know that we make mistakes, but we hate to admit this in public to anyone, although it is better than having to directly tell your line cooks in the heat of the moment that you were wrong, but still. This will be juicy, so juicy. I can't wait. Think Food Arts' They Loved It/They Hated It section. October you say, eh?
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#14 julski

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 06:51 AM

There are several books by this title already, and another one coming in November!! Here's the Amazon eG link

http://www.amazon.co...4/egulletcom-20

the excerpts are pretty good

Julie

#15 chefzadi

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 07:26 AM

Are you kidding me?  This is a modern day miracle, getting chefs, in general, to admit any kind of wrong doing, let alone putting their stories in a book that is really putting the guns to the mistakes that they have made.  I mean, we all know that we make mistakes, but we hate to admit this in public to anyone, although it is better than having to directly tell your line cooks in the heat of the moment that you were wrong, but still.  This will be juicy, so juicy.  I can't wait.  Think Food Arts' They Loved It/They Hated It section.  October you say, eh?

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I don't really know if the chefs felt like they were making huge admissions. Not that is what you are saying. People (even writers who are conducting interviews) usually don't ask chefs these questions directly. Maybe they conjecture about them on the boards.

I am curious to see how many of the stories are recent and not remembrances of things long ago. "We had a big VIP party of critics and celebrities and the third course was being plated, someone dropped X on the floor. All of it. It was an essential component, no subsitution possible. It was dusted off and served" :laugh:
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#16 marlena spieler

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 09:13 AM

Coming in October, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME--a collection of culinary meltdowns, humiliating clusterfucks, worst moments, misadventures, low-points and absurd confrontations from:

Ferran Adria, Jose Andres, Dan Barber, Mario Batali, Michelle Bernstien, Heston Blumenthal, Daniel Boulud, yours truly, Jimmy Bradley, Scott Bryan, David Burke, Sam Clarke, Tom Collicchio, Scott Conant, Richard Corrigan, Tamasin Day-Lewis, Tom Douglas, Wylie Dufresne, Jonotahn Eismann, Claudia Fleming, Gabrielle Hamilton, Fergus Henderson, Paul Kahan, Hubert Keller, Michael Lomanoco, Pino Luongo, Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feninger, Sara Moulton, Tamara Murphy, Cindy Pawlcyn, Neil Perry, Michel Richard, Eric Ripert, Alan Sailhac, Marcus Samuelsson, Bill Telepan, Laurent Torondel, Tom Valenti, Norman Van Aken and Geoffrey Zakarian.

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Too bad I'm not famous enough for your list, I have an excellent one involving a miserable client, a wedding cake and an army of snails doing my getting even for me!

Marlena
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#17 Music

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 10:52 AM

Marlena, do tell us the story!

#18 marlena spieler

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 11:59 AM

Marlena, do tell us the story!

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Okay, here goes. I was a caterer in san francisco, and one of my clients was such a nightmare, she argued the price, and shaved money off here, and money off there, and complained and complained and complained. by the time of the wedding she had shaved off so much money for this and so much for that, that when it was time to prepare the wedding cake--tender sponge drenched in amaretto and cognac, a layer of praline powder, fresh summery fruit: berries, bananas, peaches, nectarines etc, layered in the traditional descending size circles, about 5 layers. It looked like a traditional wedding cake but was very fresh, iced with a stiff-ish cream chantilly, and decorated with more fresh fruit and edible flowers.

So, having so much money shaved off the price of everything, at the last minute i discovered i had no money left in the budget to purchase any edible flowers.

so. across the street was a HUGE flower garden, no one was home but i knew they didn't use pesticides. I sent my catering staff into the garden with baskets, and they came back laden.such beautiful gaily coloured nasturitiums.

I layered and iced, smoothed the cream into a very architectural sleek finish, decorated with the fruit and flowers, it sat a short while as the room was getting ready, then i sent it out with serving utensils and a waiter.

In perhaps 15 minutes or so the nightmare woman came into the kitchen. i thought: oh god not more complaints, what now? But she was sweetness personified and said: " I know I've been difficult, I can't help it. But the cake is just so outstanding I had to compliment you."

nice, i was touched. i mean, too little too late but i did appreciate it.

she continued: I loved the scrolling pattern etched into the icing, so artistic, and the little cruncy bits scattered throughout the cake.....".

ice gripped my heart: there WERE no crunchy bits. the icing was meant to be flat. i whipped that cake back into the kitchen as fast as i decently could, and there, mostly buried in whipped cream, was an ARMY of the tiniest little snails, all winding around, probably getting drunk on the booze and drowning in the cream.

i never told her of course.

in fact, i've never gone public. I swear, we DID wash the flowers.

i hasten to say i don't cater any longer, so any health inspectors out there, take note: i'm legal.

and i must say this: the cake was fantastic. really one of my best! talk about secret ingredients. i must admit i had a few bad moments when i wondered if perhaps the snails weren't a poisonous type, but all was fine. whew.

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#19 marlena spieler

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 12:01 PM

Actually it gets worse: it was at a synaogue, and i know that those snails were not kosher. luckily it wasn't a conservative or orthodox synagogue, so its only me feeling guilty.....

m
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#20 Pam R

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 04:04 PM

Actually it gets worse: it was at a synaogue, and i know that those snails were not kosher. luckily it wasn't a conservative or orthodox synagogue, so its only me feeling guilty.....

m

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Oy! That does deserve to be in a book.

#21 divalasvegas

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 06:08 PM

Coming in October, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME--a collection of culinary meltdowns, humiliating clusterfucks, worst moments, misadventures, low-points and absurd confrontations from:

Ferran Adria, Jose Andres, Dan Barber, Mario Batali, Michelle Bernstien, Heston Blumenthal, Daniel Boulud, yours truly, Jimmy Bradley, Scott Bryan, David Burke, Sam Clarke, Tom Collicchio, Scott Conant, Richard Corrigan, Tamasin Day-Lewis, Tom Douglas, Wylie Dufresne, Jonotahn Eismann, Claudia Fleming, Gabrielle Hamilton, Fergus Henderson, Paul Kahan, Hubert Keller, Michael Lomanoco, Pino Luongo, Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feninger, Sara Moulton, Tamara Murphy, Cindy Pawlcyn, Neil Perry, Michel Richard, Eric Ripert, Alan Sailhac, Marcus Samuelsson, Bill Telepan, Laurent Torondel, Tom Valenti, Norman Van Aken and Geoffrey Zakarian.

How do you spell schaudenfreude?

View Post



Tony, Toni, Ton-ee,

Everyone here already knew that your tried and true secret ingredient for those immaculate sauces was..................... Miracle Whip so no sweat. :laugh: Take care, love.

--- Peace, Love and Hairgrease

Edited by divalasvegas, 04 June 2005 - 07:25 PM.

Inside me there is a thin woman screaming to get out, but I can usually keep the Bitch quiet: with CHOCOLATE!!!

#22 Bond Girl

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 07:58 AM

Marlena, that story was too funny. Absolutely priceless! Reminds me of the time when I was an assistant on a film set. We were shooting in a park and a somewhat aging actress was yelping for her diet tea. There was no hot water to to be found and I ended up making her tea with pipe stained hot water from the toilet tap.
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#23 Jinmyo

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 09:04 AM

Good stuff.
"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

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#24 Hest88

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 09:11 AM

The book sounds scrumptious, but Marlena's story was truly priceless!!!

#25 cakewalk

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 09:15 AM

Actually it gets worse: it was at a synaogue, and i know that those snails were not kosher. luckily it wasn't a conservative or orthodox synagogue, so its only me feeling guilty.....

m

View Post


Oy, I'm plotzing! :laugh: :laugh:

It's a great story -- with a great punchline!

#26 Fat Guy

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Posted 15 June 2005 - 04:11 PM

Bloomsbury (the publisher, and actually soon to be my publisher) had a media lunch for Don't Try This at Home today, so I was able to take home a copy of the galleys. I've only had time to read a few of the stories -- just what I could scan in the amount of time it took the M1 bus to get from Alto to my apartment -- but man, just wait until you read the one about the guy with the paralyzed hand. We're also trying to arrange a special surprise for eG Forums members -- more on that once I meet with Dave the Cook and Maggie the Cat.

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#27 brooklyncook

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Posted 17 October 2005 - 12:56 PM

People Magazine just published a review of the book; does anyone know where I can find a digital version of the picture they ran with it? It's Ripert and Bourdain outside a walk-in cooler, with Sara Moulton in the window, trying to get out.

It's not on the website, I tried looking there. Don't know if it's a Gettys Images thing or what.

#28 russ parsons

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Posted 17 October 2005 - 02:22 PM

i reviewed it a couple of weeks ago, too. i thought it was surprisingly good--it sounded like the kind of project that could have gone off the skids in dozens of ways, but it was satisfying.

full version

#29 ronnie_suburban

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Posted 25 October 2005 - 08:29 AM

In an interview with Milt Rosenberg on WGN radio (Chicago) Anthony Bourdain and Paul Kahan (Blackbird, Avec) discuss their respective chapters in the book -- and a variety of other subjects.

A Chef's Life

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#30 Tess

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Posted 25 October 2005 - 11:49 AM

Thanks, Ron. I'd missed that.