71 replies to this topic

[Cusina]

One, two perfect pears
brilliant summer memory
blue sky, sweet juice, joy



Gotta love haiku, low barrier to entry. (thus, here I am)

I especially like guajolote's. A toast to most excellent poetry!

[Janedujour]

Can I do another one? I don't know if I have the prose rules right for Haiku, but here's another shot: also edited

New menu each night
Think of Friday night's special
Closing fridge with butt

Marinate and dice
Table one getting restless
No capers for him

Pots are tossed in sink
I could hide in a walk in
"And that is The Dish"

Chop green cilantro
That's fine I'll eat the couscous
Dr. Atkin's sucks

Should I see if I
Can cook for minimum wage
And not do dishes?

Edited by Janedujour, 26 November 2003 - 02:56 PM.

[jwagnerdsm]

Edited to disqualify myself for not understanding the rules of Haiku

Edited by jwagnerdsm, 26 November 2003 - 08:33 PM.

[OPJK]

trying to count five
switching over to seven
seems to confound some.

[Al_Dente]

Varmint's Pig Pickin'
Ask, can it be done again?
Yes, autumn oh four.

Of course he says "no"
eGulls Unite! Pressure Dean!
More eGulls, more PIG!

At Pig Pickin" II
Three hundred eGulls, live bands,
Bathroom attendants.

A porcine Woodstock
Complete with sex, pork, and rock
Mustard Sauce? Bad trip.

Pig Feast number two?
Can't take "no" for an answer.
It must, it will be.

Edited by Al_Dente, 27 November 2003 - 07:18 AM.

[Mayhaw Man]

Happy Thanksgiving Haikus from the Southland.

Glad we found Poche's
It was getting kind of tense
Rachel was doubtful


Many people think
Alligator tastes like fowl
Wrong. Not like Chicken


Going to eat now
The big dry bird is ready
Glad there is dressing

[Mayhaw Man]

Carolyn Tillie
She just took us to the mat
Why play anymore?

[JAZ]

Everyone knows the
best way to cook a turkey.
Brining and smoking.

But wait. Trussing and
rotisserie for some folks
seems to work just fine.

Cajun injectors,
basting and marinating.
Decisions are hard.

[Lady T]

Oil dough, butter dough --
Roll out neatly/pat in place;
Everyone loves Pie.

Mince, pumpkin, custard?
Fruit, eggs, spices rock my world --
Warm, serene kitchen!

Nine-inch moons, lined up
In butler's pantry: Pray that
Kids don't see 'em first!

Little girl grabs knife:
Won't let Mama kibitz -- NO!
Cuts her own piece. See?

Guests coo/hostess purrs.
No adults here, just children
Of varying size.

***

Mince pie with pour cream
and hot coffee, just perfect
Breakfast on Friday.

[Jinmyo]

I spatchcock, spatchcock,
spatchcock, spatchcock, spatchcock, and
spatchcock even more.

[Mummer]

South Philly bake shop,
One rigott cannolo, please;
She said, "What the fuck!"

Edited by Mummer, 28 November 2003 - 11:46 AM.

[ronnie_suburban]

scarred burned and calloused
those hands have cooked for sovereigns
wisdom leaves its mark

tugged from the garden
chef's hands transform the bounty
Civilization

caramelized shrapnel
flawless loins served at table
chef holds best bits back

andouille and rice
onion garlic tasso thyme
jambalaya lives

arrives in darkness
chef wrestles with blade and flame
daylight fades again

solitary life
uncouth guests gobble, clueless
ignored hero, chef

Wait! Aroma calls
bacon sizzling in the pan
is that all you made?

kitchen window gone
former sky is now a house
I hate my neighbors

=R=

[hollywood]

steak, steak, steak, steak, steak
steak, steak, steak, steak, steak, steak, steak
steak, steak, steak, steak, steak

[that's bone-in]

[Pan]

Eat all that turkey
Get that stuffing while it's hot
Damn, my tummy hurts!

California dates
Eat those sweet things every day
Tasty and healthful.

Eel fried up with leeks
Juicy buns, spicy cabbage, tripe
Tasty Shanghai food.

[pariah_kerry]

Oh, it's Thanksgiving
mama cooks with margarine
I'll wait for dessert

[adoxograph]

No cheese smuggler, I
Trapped by Pasteur, I long for
A simple Epoisse.

[picaman]

I know about larb
Spatchcock, Wine Clip, toaster bags
Thanks to eGullet

Aged steak medium rare
Same way for a hundred years
Peter Luger rules

P.S. -- medium is two syllables



Jamie

[pogophiles]

I don't eat dessert
except during holidays
more pecan pie please!

[guajolote]

i love the chicken
especially its liver
rich creamy goodness

[lamb]

Leftover Turkey
My Toast-N-Serve Magic Bags
My lunch is complete

Need to take pictures
Just like Rachel and Jason
Sandwiches look great

Bags will be a hit!
Have Sandwiches every day!
Gain weight - clothes don't fit!

Put bags in closet
But I hear them call my name
Damn you Magic Bags!

[Carolyn Tillie]

Carolyn Tillie
She just took us to the mat
Why play anymore?

Aw... man, blush blush blush
Discovering self Haiku'd
I feel so honored!

[mongo_jones]

with apologies to basho:

my house burned down
i own a darker view
of my weber grill

[Al_Dente]

Mongo but a pawn,
In game of life, Mongo said.
Blazing Saddles rocks.

[mongo_jones]

Mongo but a pawn,
In game of life, Mongo said.
Blazing Saddles rocks.

i fear the complete allusion is lost on all but a very few al_dente. but perhaps in order to make this food related, we should say:

mongo but prawn
in life's cocktail
horseradish in sauce burns mongo's eyes

[Carolyn Tillie]

Mongo but a pawn,
In game of life, Mongo said.
Blazing Saddles rocks.

i fear the complete allusion is lost on all but a very few al_dente. but perhaps in order to make this food related, we should say:

mongo but prawn
in life's cocktail
horseradish in sauce burns mongo's eyes

How about...

Musical fruit plagues
Mongo's conniving cohorts
The smell alone kills

[mongo_jones]

question of clarification:

the classical haiku can be 15 or 17 syllables (as in the original basho haiku and my re-working of it). however, if the rule of the game is a strict 17 syllable count, i'd amend it to the following:

my steak cooked past well done
i own a darker view
of my weber grill


in case anyone's interested, the original gem by basho is as follows:

my house burned down
i own a clearer view
of the rising moon

[mongo_jones]

corn passes through us unchanged
but the studded turds
give me no pleasure

[mongo_jones]

i carved this out of one of elyse's posts on another forum (with her permission). all credit goes to her (http://forums.egulle...=0). the context is a discussion of potato skins but it sounds creepier without knowing that:

my ex didn't eat the skins
i gave him my middle
and took his skin

[mongo_jones]

chef's knife went in dishwasher
after such tears
what fears could onions hold?

[Mayhaw Man]

After Thanksgiving Haikus for the Post Holiday Blues:

Neighbor fried turkey
Big fire was awfully hot
No more neighbor now

Not much on stuffing
But boy that oyster dressing
I might eat it all

Awful cold up North
Macy's balloons look chilly
Pass the suntan oil

Really burned chess pie
Ran out of eggs and butter
Still pretty damn good