97 replies to this topic

[NeroW]

Grab your Alkaseltzer tablets and hold on to the backs of your toilets, folks, because by request, here comes my Foodblog.


Wednesday, August 13, 151 lbs.:

In the morning, before class, I drank 3 cups of W.J. Upson's coffee (beans purchased from my friends Lin and Larry Czapla, purveyors of the fantastic Upson's Wine/Coffee store in Kalamazoo, MI).

Then I ate something called a Turkey and Swiss on Rye that I bought out of the vending machines at school for $1 USD. The Garde Manger class wasn't giving up the goods, so I had to take emergency measures.

The sandwich was remarkably tasteless. I think it had a *hint* of rye. I think (but don't want to believe) that it had margarine on it as well.

During class (Baking 101), I ate a spatula full of Vanilla Pound Cake batter. My finished cake was rather flat, as I had not incorporated enough air into the batter. Oh f***in' well.

Then I ate a Devil's Food Cupcake with Chocolate Glaze, and a piece of Chocolate Chiffon Cake with Raspberry Filling and Chocolate Glaze on the top.

Then I drank a Mountain Dew!

During lecture, I ate three pieces of the aforementioned Pound Cake--one with all butter, one with all shortening, and one with half butter, half shortening. Just to taste the differences.

I had a Wintergreen Life Saver somewhere in there as well.

Also during lecture, we had a Product I.D. Quiz, which means I ate wet-fingerfuls of each of the following:

Cream of Tartar. Baking Soda. Cinammon. Iodized and Kosher Salt. Granulated and Powdered Sugar. Nutmeg. Allspice. Vanilla. Vegetable Oil. Cornstarch.

The Chef *insisted* that we taste each product before we identified it. Cream of Tartar tastes so bad, I refuse to believe you can't get a buzz off that shit.

Then I had another Mountain Dew to wash it all down.

After class, I had dinner with my mom, her friends, and FRITZ BRENNER.

But before dinner, I drank about 5 glasses of Crow Canyon Chardonnay. I also ate several cracker-thingies with some sort of cheese. And cold shrimp, but the condo had no cocktail sauce fixings, so we bogarted a sauce out of ketchup and caper juice. Yum!

And I had another Devil's Food Cupcake.

Dinner was a leg of lamb in a port-wine glaze, fresh-picked green beans with a bit of butter and salt, warm baguettes, and a salad that had beets and some other stuff in it. We had red wine with dinner--I think--probably Fat Bastard. I ate only about 5 pieces of lamb.

After dinner I had some more wine, maybe 3 more glasses, and another piece of Chocolate Chiffon Cake, and then I went home.

As a midnight snack, while reading "Poland" by James Michener, I had a handful of Ruffles with Ridges.


Thank you for your attention. I won't be able to post again until Friday, when I will post today's intake, which is shaping up to be *quite* heinous.

[slkinsey]

hee hee hee! I can hardly wait until you have to do something like: taste one tablespoon each of extra virgin olive oil, virgin olive oil, pomace oil, peanut oil, canola oil, corn oil, vegetable oil and sunflower seed oil.

[NeroW]

hee hee hee!  I can hardly wait until you have to do something like: taste one tablespoon each of extra virgin olive oil, virgin olive oil, pomace oil, peanut oil, canola oil, corn oil, vegetable oil and sunflower seed oil.

Oh, dude, me neither.

[slkinsey]

Seriously, though... That constant tasting and whatnot must give you a stomach of lead. Or do you find that you need to keep a supply of Gaviscon and Immodium at the ready?

[Jinmyo]

Nero, Nero, cakes and suchstuff are not food and so need not be listed.

[maggiethecat]

Nero, Nero, cakes and suchstuff are not food and so need not be listed.

Respectfully disagree. Our Stalwart Nero is eating all that bakery in the interests of science, and it must be duly noted.

But, Dude! Mountain Dew?

And as if you don't know by now...you rock!

(Oh, to be the age of twenty-three again, with the cast-iron tummy and limitless capacity for All Things Alcoholic that went along with it.)

[bergerka]

Nero, Nero, cakes and suchstuff are not food and so need not be listed.

excuse me, SEZ YOU. I'm about to have to go track down a piece of pound cake or a cupcake or something, before I kill someone.

K

[lamb]

But before dinner, I drank about 5 glasses of Crow Canyon Chardonnay. 

We had red wine with dinner--I think--probably Fat Bastard. 

After dinner I had some more wine, maybe 3 more glasses, and another piece of Chocolate Chiffon Cake, and then I went home.

How much wine can you ingest in one day??

Regardless of the food that you took in - I don't think I would be able to function after the pre-dinner libations, never mind the rest of the evening.

You are my idol.

[Lady T]

Sweets may not be food, Jinmyo, but if they're personally baked for you by someone you know, I think they often qualify as medicine.

The happy memory of Aurora's birthday cake (as prepared by Nightscotsman and shared around a table of 8 like-minded eGulletarians, this past Tuesday night) is one of the dangerously few things keeping me from strangling my boss bare-handed at the moment. Sugar and fat as mood elevators? You betcha.

[maggiethecat]

You are my idol.

Join a long, long line of idolators.

[Aurora]

Nero, Nero, cakes and suchstuff are not food and so need not be listed.

Respectfully disagree. Our Stalwart Nero is eating all that bakery in the interests of science, and it must be duly noted.

But, Dude! Mountain Dew?

And as if you don't know by now...you rock!

(Oh, to be the age of twenty-three again, with the cast-iron tummy and limitless capacity for All Things Alcoholic that went along with it.)

Oh, Maggie, my love. There's a reason why 23 only comes 'round once.

If I drank that much, I could get up the next day...in Detox..."Oh, praise ye, Cool Toilet." I'd be grabbin' on tight.

I would be in prayer all day and wearing sun glasses all week.

Pound cake is food of the highest order. Make that pound cake a chocolate one -- with a glob of whipped cream, and my friend, you possess manna from Heaven.

Preach on, Sista Nero.

[SobaAddict70]

mmmm, Mocha Marble Sour Cream poundcake (coffee, chocolate and sour cream)



Soba

[SobaAddict70]

hee hee hee!  I can hardly wait until you have to do something like: taste one tablespoon each of extra virgin olive oil, virgin olive oil, pomace oil, peanut oil, canola oil, corn oil, vegetable oil and sunflower seed oil.

What's pomace oil?

I'd say the others, with the exception of EVOO and OO would probably have kind of a neutral taste....right?

Soba

[Aurora]

mmmm, Mocha Marble Sour Cream poundcake (coffee, chocolate and sour cream)



Soba

Oh, yeah...[Aurora pauses, raises knuckle of index finger to teeth, gently bites, and winces the wince of ecstasy]

Please tell me you have a recipe for this, or I won't sleep tonight.

[Jinmyo]

Gah.

[Malawry]

Good stuff.

We tasted about 12 oils one day at my culinary school. Click here to read all about it. The truffle and olive oils were more fun than, say, soybean.

[slkinsey]

hee hee hee!  I can hardly wait until you have to do something like: taste one tablespoon each of extra virgin olive oil, virgin olive oil, pomace oil, peanut oil, canola oil, corn oil, vegetable oil and sunflower seed oil.

What's pomace oil?

Pomace oil is the lowest grade of olive oil. From this site:

Virgin Olive Oils
Virgin olive oil is obtained from the fruit of the olive tree by mechanical or other physical means that do not lead to deterioration of the oil. It does not undergo any treatment other than washing, decantation, centrifugation, and filtration.

Two grades of virgin olive oil are available to retail consumers:

Extra Virgin Olive Oil: This is the fruity oil obtained from healthy, fresh green or ripe olives. How fruity it is depends on the variety and ripeness of the olives. This fruitiness can be perceived through both flavor and aroma. Extra virgin olive oil has no smell or taste defects.

Virgin Olive Oil: This oil has only the slightest taste and smell defects. When measured by professional tasters, the intensity of the defects must not be over a specified level. It must be perceptibly fruity.

[Non-Virgin Olive Oils]

Olive Oil: This is the name given to the blend of refined olive oil and virgin olive oil; the proportion of each depends on consumer tastes. Virgin olive oil is added to the refined oil to restore flavor, aroma, color and antioxidants that are lost during refining.

Olive-Pomace Oil: This is the name given to the oil obtained by using solvents to extract the residual oil from the olive mash (olive pomace) that is left after producing virgin olive oil. It is then refined and blended with varying proportions of virgin olive oil.

I'd say the others, with the exception of EVOO and OO would probably have kind of a neutral taste....right?

Oh, I don't know... I imagine peanut oil and corn oil and canola oil taste fairly different. Certainly more neutral than the various olive oils, of course.

The whole thing is a joke, of course. Tasting a tablespoon of all those oils would mean that she was drinking a half cup of oil. Probably would result in some fairly spectacular gastrointestinal effects, I am guessing.

(edit: make sure the "s" key depresses all the way)

Edited by slkinsey, 14 August 2003 - 11:58 AM.

[Dave the Cook]

. . . he was drinking a half cup of oil . . .

Er, Nero's a babe, dude.

(Nice round-up of OO's.)

[slkinsey]

You mean she's not a fat male detective who never leaves the house?

Damn me for typing too fast, though. You leave out one "s" and it changes everything. Sigh...

[guajolote]

Er, Nero's a babe, dude.

A babe in every sense of the word .

[tanabutler]

Babes can be male, too.

Brendan Fraser is a babe.

I rest my case.

EDIT: Pssssst, Nero. Frank Zappa sang "Dinah Moe Hum" to me in front of 8000 people. On. His. Knees.

Edited by tanabutler, 14 August 2003 - 12:01 PM.

[Lady T]

Hang tight, Aurora. If we don't have a recipe, or don't get one soon, we can always experiment and sample, and experiment and sample, and...



And Jinmyo? If or when you ever visit Chicago, or if I ever get over there, I guarantee personally we'll find a thick prime Porterhouse with your name on it, and split a bottle of fine red wine. Better? No 'gah'?

[Dave the Cook]

And Jinmyo?  If or when you ever visit Chicago, or if I ever get over there, I guarantee personally we'll find a thick prime Porterhouse with your name on it, and split a bottle of fine red wine.  Better?  No 'gah'?

And pie. Of course.

[MatthewB]

Babes can be male, too.

Babes can be hermaphrodite, too.

Calliope Stephanides is a babe.

[Lady T]

Yep, Dave. We like pie.

Come to think of it, I make pie. Hmmm.

[maggiethecat]

Er, Nero's a babe, dude.

A babe in every sense of the word .

And guajolote's is not the only opinion here:

[tanabutler]

I'm seething with envy.

[mcdowell]

I'm seething with envy.

Me too... that Bourdain gets all the breaks. She's a cutie.

[FoodMan]

During lecture, I ate three pieces of the aforementioned Pound Cake--one with all butter, one with all shortening, and one with half butter, half shortening. Just to taste the differences.

So what was the report?? Any difference???


FM

[Nick]

I'm seething with envy.

Really? After you had Zappa on his knees?