The problem with many of the situations you describe, is that it's difficult to be certain whose fault it is, exactly. Unfortunately, the only people you can "punish" are the waitstaff. Many times, however, it's not their fault. Looking through your described complaints...
1. Inattentiveness. Requiring a few minutes' wait is fine; however, it should not be necessary to flag you down with orange cones airport-style to place an order. My metric for acceptability is the wait at an over-capacity bar during World Cup finals. If you can't equal their quality of service, then you're just not trying.
I would say that this depends upon the price point and the style of the restaurant. I've been in plenty of busy, low-cost restaurants where it took a long time to get service. Meanwhile, I'm curious as to what timeframe you're talking about. It could easily take 30 minutes in an over-capacity bar to wait for service (in fact, I'd suggest this would be a good wait time). Are you saying that you've experienced waits of 30+ minutes for service at restaurants of a high-enough price point that this should never happen? (I don't know where you live, but in my world 17 bucks for a steak doesn't exactly equate to an expectation of flawless service.)
Also, sometimes the wait for service is long because the restaurant is under-staffed, or because someone is in the weeds and the waitstaff has to cover, or because the table was seated and the appropriate server wasn't notified properly, or due to a whole host of other reasons other than "this is the fault of this server, who I am now going to punish by stiffing on the tip." I'm not saying that it's never the fault of the waitstaff, I'm just saying that it's not always easy to determine whose fault it is.
2. Short-changing. A few dollars is fine. Accidentally tripling my bill, not so much. Either you're dishonest, inattentive, or flat-out stupid; regardless, no tip for you.
I'm not sure what you're saying here. "Short-changing" means that you weren't given back the appropriate amount of change for your purchase. In other words, your bill was 15 bucks, you gave a $20 bill and got back only $3 in change. You were "short-changed" to the tune of two bucks. This is something that should never happen, of course. But, again, there is a question as to whose fault it is. In plenty of places, the waitstaff may be dropping off your money with someone else, bringing out food to another table (or whatever) then swinging back to pick up your change. Depending on the restaurant and how it operates, it seems unreasonable to expect busy waitstaff to re-count your change on the way back to your table when someone is already supposed to have done it for them. So, again, it could
be the server's fault but isn't necessarily
the server's fault. How can you tell? I don't know. But you know who you're punishing: the waitstaff.
3. Serving the wrong food. This is of particular significance as a good friend of mine is vegetarian and several others have mild food allergies. Accidentally serving me a medium-well steak instead of a medium-rare is excusable; giving a devout Buddhist a plate of carpaccio, not so much.
Again, this depends on how the restaurant is set up. Generally speaking, you pick up the order for Table 4 at the pass and bring it out. Especially if it's busy. Are you saying that the carpaccio wasn't ordered by your table at all? Or that it was simply served to the wrong person at the table? Either one is not so great, but hardly a hanging offense. Meanwhile, your "devout Buddhist" friend can't get over having a plate of carpaccio set down on the table? Really? I note, by the way, that you magnanimously state that you wouldn't punish the server for an error 100% attributable to the kitchen: a medium-well steak instead of a medium-rare steak. So, again, we have a situation where it's not always clear who is at fault, but you know who you're punishing: the waitstaff.
4. Unwillingness to move my table due to inclement conditions. This has yet to actually happen, though I suspect it will soon enough. While a crying infant or boisterous drinkers aren't a big deal, if I'm paying $17 for a steak I expect to enjoy it without water dripping on my head. (This, sadly, has happened. In the last week.)
What makes you think that moving tables is at the discretion of your server? I can think of very few situations in which this would be the case, and certainly not in any restaurant at a price point where flawless service could be expected. But, again, you know who you're punishing: the waitstaff.
5. Not serving me at all. A few days ago, I was informed that may waiter forgot to dispatch my requests to the kitchen in the forty minutes between when I made them and when it closed, leading to significant embarrassment in front of some rather nice people I had hoped to impress. This falls into the category of "I want telepathically strangle you in the manner of Darth Vader" level unacceptability. (Thankfully, I occasionally am privileged to write a newspaper review for a student paper, so I suspect the loss of reputation will be soon repaid in turn.)
This is the one instance where I think you have a legitimate and unequivocally attributable grievance -- although this is a mistake anyone could make. However, since you weren't charged anything (presumably) you can't punish the waitstaff by stiffing on the tip.