Oh, dear reader, the lengths I will go to to satisfy your (inexplicable) craving for the one true grilled sticky experience
. Behold, ladies and gentlement, Ye Olde College Diner
a.k.a. "The Diner":
Clearly, from this image, you may ascertain that there is no foie gras, no truffles, nay, this morning, no English frickin' muffins
!! (though in their defense the high school-aged daughter of the owner was waiting the tables, and offered to go down to the store to buy some after her mother cussed her out).
The interior certainly belongs in the PA diner genre:
I was seated relatively promptly, but from there on out I felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld: is that the Soup Nazi over there?!? Or maybe in a Philadelphia, a la
Mamet: "oh, no, we don't have that
, sir" to nearly everything the gentleman at the table next to mine requested. Bagels? Nope. English muffins? Nope. Cereal? Nope. ("Well, there may be a box of Total down there somewhere," shouts the owner from across the diner.)
Finally, the waitress begins walking to my table, presumably to take my order. Hah! Hah hah hah!!! Dream on, kid. She takes a seat with the two guys at the table across the aisle, and takes five minutes to eat some breakfast and chat up her friends. Grrr. I've been here 12 minutes at this point, and have received a single cup of coffee. No order taken, no refill, nada. I am starting to recall why I avoid this place...
Finally, the waitress leaves (presumable to go to the store, or to school, or something) and the owner notices my table. I put in my order and it comes out promptly. Incredibly promptly. Like, how did they have time to scoop the ice cream that fast?!? Here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for, THE GRILLED STICKY A LA MODE
In all actuality, the sticky itself isn't bad, and the Penn State Creamery vanilla ice cream is perfectly acceptable. But for the love of god, you can get this at nearly every restaurant in town!! If you are ever in State College, walk the half block to the Corner Room and order exactly the same thing. It probably even costs the same! These grilled stickies are everywhere, which is presumably how The Diner stays in business.