TDG: Rabbi Ribeye: Schmaltz & Pornography

[Fat Guy]

Schmaltz: it ain't just chicken fat . . .

Please welcome our new contributor, Marc Wilson, aka "Rabbi Ribeye."

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Be sure to check The Daily Gullet home page daily for new articles (most every weekday), hot topics, site announcements, and more.

[Lady T]

What a hoot! Somebody turn this mensch loose on challah! Welcome, rabbenu!

Or is it maybe 'rib-eye-nu'? (Ouch.)

[Jason Perlow]

What's next, latkes?

[Gifted Gourmet]

What's next, latkes?

Since discovering the joys of dining in organic, health obsessed California, central coast actually, I had begun to think of gribenes as the Anti-Christ ...

perhaps I ought to reconsider and become reacquainted with the joys of schmaltz ...a book title no doubt rejected by Alex Comfort, who chose an equally compelling, yet far more lucrative and engaging topic ...

comment triste ...

the piece here is, and will always be, the zenith of notoriety that schmaltz will achieve ...

a sotto voce, yet hearty, "yasher koach" to Rabbi Ribeye ...

keep those stents open and your "creative juices" flowing ...

[bloviatrix]

Mayonnaise was entirely foreign to first-generation Jewish-American homemakers. Moreover, they refused to believe that its creamy texture could be achieved without the addition of some dairy product, thus making it unfit for home-cooked meals, which were usually meat-based.

I laughed so hard at this because I saw myself in this. Growing up, mom only used mayo with milchig (dairy). It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I realized that it was parve.

Inscribe this on my tombstone: He liked his mayo, but gave his life for his schmaltz.

I make a duck at least once year just so I can dender off the fat. I love keeping a stash in my freezer. My feeling is that since I can't use pancetta or bacon due to kashrut, duck fat is my substitute. My epitaph is going to be "everything tastes better with duck fat."

[Fat Guy]

I think the learned rabbi makes a good move in focusing on the onion and gribenes aspects of schmaltz. Too many people think schmaltz = rendered chicken fat, when, in reality, rendered chicken fat isn't true Yiddishe schmaltz until it receives the blessing of the onions and gives forth the gribenes.

You'll all be pleased to know that Rabbi Ribeye (yes he is a real rabbi) will be comtributing regularly to The Daily Gullet.

[Mayhaw Man]

Rabbi Ribeye brings great fun to this forum. Thanks for the piece and I look forward to many more. I particulary liked the paragraph about the GOB from Texas downing copious amounts of Chopped Liver and Schmaltz

I have been describing certain things as "schmaltzy" for years. I will now have to rethink my use of that heretofore useful term

[JFLinLA]

I too laughed. In addition to the gribenes that my mother in law still makes (she calls the grivelach), there was another unique specialty I learned about when hubby and I first got together. I don't know what the correctly spelling is, if any, but it's pronounces "p-tcha" and is basically garlic-flavored gelatin extracted from bones. The love spreading that on anything they can.

Understand please, my husband didn't marry a shiksah and I can cook with the best of them but this was a new one on me.

[Varmint]

I love having a Jewish take on the South. Gosh, this'll be fun!!!

[tryska]

"shalom y'all."

(that tickles me when i hear it)

[bloviatrix]

"shalom y'all."

(that tickles me when i hear it)

When I lived in Israel, I had a good friend who originally hailed from Louisiana. It was really funny to hear him speak Hebrew with his drawl. The waiters, used to orders coming in "chick-chock" (hebrew euphemism for speedy) would go nuts when he ordered as everything was done nice 'n slow.

Edited December 2, 2003 by bloviatrix (log)

[jhlurie]

"shalom y'all."

(that tickles me when i hear it)

One should note that the good Rabbi is more original. His signature is "Blessings on your fressings,"

[Suzanne F]

JFLinLA: Ah! P-tcha, aka Calves' Foot Jelly. (I never could figure out why multiple calves only had one foot ) I hope the good Rabbi will discuss that in the future. Also schav (sour grass soup).

[richw]

This article is a literary masterpiece.

[tryska]

"shalom y'all."

(that tickles me when i hear it)

When I lived in Israel, I had a good friend who originally hailed from Louisiana. It was really funny to hear him speak Hebrew with his drawl. The waiters, used to orders coming in "chick-chock" (hebrew euphemism for speedy) would go nuts when he ordered as everything was done nice 'n slow.

that i've gotta hear. must be as amusing, if not more than spanish spoken in a chinese accent.

[theabroma]

I was reduced to tears and hysterical laughter while reading this article. I never would have suspected that a bissel schmaltz, years out of New York, would have the power of a Proustian petit-four. I suddenly remembered jars of a blasphemous substance called "Nyafat", sort of a faux schmaltz with half the calories, 200% the chemicals, and none of the fun - a precursor of "lite" mayo.

Then there was (please, tell me there still is) a restaurant near Houston St. called the Parkway. Their amuse-guele was a plate of sliced rye and black breads, a dish of Kosher salt, garlic dill pickle spears, and shredded black radish, the whole plate crowned by a diner-style syrup dispenser jar of something creamy and yellowish. It was schmaltz. The drill was to but black radish on the bread of choice, salt it, and then drench it in the schmaltz. They also served the best brisket I have ever eaten - and for a bbq-addicted Texan, that's saying a lot.

I didn't stay there long enough to earn a stent, but I'm more than willing to go back and give it a shot!

Theabroma

[jmcgrath]

I laughed so hard at this because I saw myself in this.  Growing up, mom only used mayo with milchig (dairy).  It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I realized that it was parve. 

I always wondored about Woody Allen's fixation with mayonnaise. Now I understand.

Jim

[Suzanne F]

Then there was (please, tell me there still is) a restaurant near Houston St. called the Parkway.  Their amuse-guele was a plate of sliced rye and black breads, a dish of Kosher salt, garlic dill pickle spears, and shredded black radish, the whole plate crowned by a diner-style syrup dispenser jar of something creamy and yellowish.  It was schmaltz.  The drill was to but black radish on the bread of choice, salt it, and then drench it in the schmaltz.

Ah yes. My mother's father apparently loved to snack on rye bread-grated black radish-salt-schmaltz canapes. Not surprisingly, he died several years before I was born.

Sammy's Steak House (fka Sammy's Roumanian) supposedly has those same maple-syrup-dispensers of schmaltz, too. I've always be a little afraid to find out for sure. Especially after Andre Codrescu did an episode of his tv show there.

Edited to add:

The good reverend has supplied pictorial confirmation of the existence of schmaltz dispensers at Sammy's. The shot also confirms Andre Codrescu's account, and the reasons for some of his horror: check out the image at approximately 11 o'clock, behind the glass.

Edited December 8, 2003 by Suzanne F (log)

[Mayhaw Man]

Especially after Andre Codrescu did an episode of his tv show there.

I just forwarded the good Rabbi's story and this thread to Andrei. I had never really thought about it, but he would make an interesting egulleteer in certain threads, and he damn sure knows how to write. Exquisite Corpse is his longtime site on the web if any of you are interested. He is a longtime resident of New Orleans and has been teaching at LSU for a very long time.

Incidentally, if you read my little Thanksgiving missive, he was at the Giant Bizarre funeral for my friend and drinking buddy Everette.

[Suzanne F]

Staying a bit OT to discuss AC: we get his weekly "Penny Press" column in a local lower Manhattan newspaper. That's good, since I never know when/if I'll hear him on All Things Considered.

The episode I mentioned, when he and some friends went to Sammy's, took place when he was a vegetarian. So you can imagine!

[wesza]

The "Rebs", story made me remember my own unusual experience with "Schmaltz".

When I opened "Lindy's Restaurant", in Hong Kong in 1965 I taught my chefs how to remder Chicken Fat, with Onions and Chicken Skin. Making sure to reserve the Gribienes for VIP Customers [regulars who requested them]. They were bewildered by this procedure, as it seemed to them a waste of time, especially since they felt there were better uses for Chicken Skin, plus why waste onions?

This lasted until they were made to taste this mixture at my insistance. One of my Chinese Cooks requested that if they had to eat this stuff, would I object if they mixed it with noodles to make it palatable? My response was that was okay, but everyone would have to try a spoon of just the Gribiences first., then we'd prepare a Noodle dish together with Chicken Broth and Chicken Fat.

The tasting commenced with pre-preparing a pound of Chinese Egg Noodles, together with rich Chicken Broth, Carrots, Celery, Parsnips, Leaf Parsley, Garlic and Onions.

Everyone tried the Gribienes and were surprised how they tasted. Much lip smacking and smiles showed that I had converts.

The next step was to serve the Soup, before I was ready one of my Cooks poured a full cup of the Chicken Fat into the simmering soup, together with a cup of the Grivienes and mixed it all together and dished out the soup togther with Bowls and Chopsticks.

Since this was already done I kept my mouth shut grimiced and began shlurping with everyone. Suddenly I realized that everyone was happily slurping away with smiles. [louder slurping signifies better food]. I knew I had a winner when the pot emptied out before everyone got seconds.

This was with my mostly Shanghai Kitchen Staff, within 3 months this type of dish became very popular in the more well known Shanghai Restaurants in Hong Kong.

What I hadn't been aware of previously was that many Northern Chinese Dishes used more then moderate amounts of Fat in the preperation, and the amount that was added into the Testing Soup/Grivienes Serving was considered just the right amount for the servings.

We managed to keep the actual preperation of the Schmaltz, with Onions and Grivienes as our seceret, but we had to purchase extra fresh chicken skin from the market to keep up with demand, especially after we began preparing Matzoh Balls.

I've saved all my Turkey Skins and have been accumulating Chicken Skins for a special Holiday treat of Matzoh Ball Soup and Potato Latkas on Chanakuh.

Irwin

[Suzanne F]

For those who have come to love the Rabbi -- how could we not? -- I would like to remind you that today is his birthday: he is thrice chai. Good gribenes to you, Rabbi!

[Lady T]

Many, many happy returns, rebbe.

[bloviatrix]

Yom Huledet Sameach!! (that's happy birthday in Hebrew -- not bad for 13 years of tuition.. )

[Comfort Me]

I really loved the article, but one thing really gave me the wiggins.

Schmaltz in egg salad.

I could hurl just thinking of it.

Now I need a seltzer.