143 replies to this topic

[mbanu]

You might be a cocktail snob if...

...you're disappointed when you walk into the local sports bar and the bartender isn't wearing a bow tie or arm garters.

...no bar in a 50 mile radius has all the ingredients to make your favorite drink.

...you buy 100-year-old bottles of bitters off the internet because you can't stand the taste of Angostura in your Old-Fashioneds.

[Megan Blocker]

You have to stop yourself from making a catty remark every time a friend orders a Cosmo. Which, in Manhattan, is not infrequently.

[rich]

...you pay $20 for a drink at the Pegu Club that costs $3.50 anywhere else.

[cdh]

oooh... cattiness already.

but to continue the thread

you might be a cocktail snob if... your preferred vermouth isn't commercially available in the state you live in.

[mark922]

You send your martini back because "You ordered a martini, not a glass of gin," if there isn't adequate vermouth in it.

[johnsmith45678]

I know some cocktail snobs who...

...brag about all the different (single malt!) scotches they have and have drank.

...are obsessed with martinis.

[dvs]

you might be a cocktail snob if...

... you walk into some bars and only order beer or wine

[slkinsey]

...you're aghast that the bar you're in doesn't have a single jigger.

...you sniff your cocktails before sipping them.

...after looking at the back bar, you realize that there is not a single cocktail you'd want to order.

...you carry around a little bottle of bitters.

...you honestly can't understand why some people are spooked by egg white drinks, and think every cocktail bar should make them.


To interject a tiny bit of seriousness in an otherwise fun thread, I'm not convinced that "snob" is quite the right word. "Snob" has certain connotations of looking down on other people who are somehow "below you," whether that be due to education, socioeconomics, class, expertise, knowledge, etc. I don't think many of us look down on people who are not into cocktails the way we are. Rather, I think we tend to take the attitude that most everyone would become "one of us" once exposed to the real thing. I would rather call us "cocktail enthusiasts."

On the other side of the coin is what I would call "reverse snobbery," which is to say those who look down on spending $12 for a perfectly made cocktail or $19 a pound for prime beef because this seems like a snobbish affectation to them when (lesser) examples can be had for less money. Those who prefer quality are often accused of snobbery in this country.

[jsolomon]

... you won't set foot in a bar with fewer than 12 different types of cocktail glasses.

... you bring your own olives because pimiento stuffed olives are so passe'.

[lancastermike]

You carry your own bottle of orange bitters with you into bars

[mrbigjas]

this is killing me. "bartender? i'll have a hendricks martini, 4:1 with vya vermouth. do you have orange bitters for that? no, don't even look, i can tell you don't. here, i brought some, use mine. and are those... ? uh... you know what, i brought my own olives--you can just leave them in their plastic tub there..."

[birder53]

you might be a cocktail snob if...

... you walk into some bars and only order beer or wine 

Ditto!

[eje]

...you first check out the back bar, then the bartender.

...you thought the bartender's attempt at making your cocktail was, "noble, but, flawed".

[fatdeko]

....You don't hesitate to use single malt scotch in your Rusty Nail
AND
That dusty bottle of Smirnoff is the only vodka in the house.

myers

[johnder]

how about...

not only you bring your own bottle of bitters, you actually made the bitters in the bottle.

[johnsmith45678]

...you're a sommelier, or aspire to be one! (OK, not cocktails per se, but I've never known either of these types of people who weren't at least somewhat snobby.)

[cocktailgeek]

You might be a cocktail geek if...

...you watch a bartender making a cocktail and know the date the version they make was published.

...the only bottles of liquor in your house are unopened because they're no longer made.

...you know the schedules of the bartenders you trust to make your drinks.

...you're reading this.

Edited by cocktailgeek, 26 June 2006 - 06:11 PM.

[johnsmith45678]

...you take your own martini glass to the bar.

[Kent Wang]

...if you have a mobile bar kit. I do.

[Lan4Dawg]

interestingly enough I thought of the same thing a while back and almost posted a similar thread.
Granted I have to agree w/ slkinsey how ever assuming this post is all in fun.....

you watch the bar tender's every movement after he takes your drink order--including when you order fr/ a waiter at a table
certain bar tenders are glad to see you walk in to their bar & almost as happy as others are when they see you leave their bar.
you base where you are going to dinner on the type of vermouth they carry
you are actually concerned about what type of vermouth the bar uses
the waiter takes up more room on his pad writing your cocktail order than your dinner order
you use ratios when placing your cocktail order
other patrons are watching the cocktail waitress w/ the incredible figure and you are watching the bar tender to make certain that he uses the gin you requested
you have been "invited" behind the bar to mix your own cocktail
you have gone behind the bar to mix your own cocktail
you have been "invited" to leave the bar after going behind the bar to mix your own cocktail
you have Fee Brothers on your speed dial
the young lady who answers the telephone recognizes your voice
all she has to say is, "the usual order?"
you have a ten minute conversation w/ her about your respective families
you have been stopped at customs b/c of tree bark you brought in to the country
you have actually used the phrase, "but Guffy says...."

[johnsmith45678]

After reading this, I think the following is probably true:

...it matters whether your martinis are shaken vs. stirred.

[donbert]

... you have a preference for flame or unflamed orange peels

... blend 2 or more vermouths of the same variety in one drink

... start raising hens because the eggs at the market arent fresh enough for your drinks

... have asked a bartending to pass you the shaker so you can shake it your self after watching him/her give your drink only 2 shakes

... have hung your head in shame after your friend/date orders a grey goose and soda at Pegu

... started your own import business because what's currently available in your country doesn't meet your standards

... cross state/national borders for the sole purpose of obtaining liquor

... give your traveling friends detailed descriptions, pictures, and directions to specific liquor stores abroad when they ask if you want any souvenirs

... have walked out of a bar because they didn't have any bitters

... have been asked by other bar patrons if you work there after giving a long, unasked for, history lesson on the origins of the cocktail they're drinking

[Alchemist]

-some friends won't sit at a bar with you because of the pained noises you make when the bartender does somthing unprofessional.

-some friends just look at you when bartenders ask for their drink order.

-you can't stop from cringing when some one orders an extra dry vodka martini, dirty.

You feel your gorge rise when you hear some one order a "Goose and red bull, and tuff it up eh chief?"

You choose vacations based on what spirit the country produces.

you've had bartenders invite you to thier homes, for drinks, not just to look at their etchings.

you prefer to eat dinner at the bar.

There is more than one bartender who can start pouring your drink as soon as you walk into the bar, so it's sitting prettily on a bev nap by the time your butt hits the bar stool.

[meyerboy]

sorry for the duplicates, but here are mine
...you specify the number of ice cubes in your drink
...you'd rather not drink than have what is being served
...you tell someone else when the bartender short pours THEIR drink
reading everyone else's post's, i realize that i am a snob, and unabashed about it
d

[dvs]

You might be a cocktail geek if...

...you watch a bartender making a cocktail and know the date the version they make was published.

...the only bottles of liquor in your house are unopened because they're no longer made.

...you know the schedules of the bartenders you trust to make your drinks.

...you're reading this.

... or you call ahead to make sure your favorite bt's will be working

[Cachaca_Dave]

.... while on vacation you stop at random liquor store looking for "souvenirs"

.... you ask for "what's new in glassware today?" at your restaurant supply store

.... and they think you own a bar based on how much you buy, but you don't

.... you cringe when you enter a bar and see a muddler that has chipped varnish

.... you give free advice to fellow shoppers on which spirits are "good" in the store and then complain about them to the store staff when the end up buying Grey Goose and Jack Daniels

.... you bring your own bottle to a bar and offer to pay the house full price for a cocktails made with it (for your own consumption)

..... when returning to the USA you force friends traveling with you to carry your extra bottles to avoid problems with customs and / or

..... you sweat like a drug smuggler wondering if customs is going to bust you this time for being so far over the limit

And yes I have started my own import business because "what's currently available in my country doesn't meet my standards." And I seriously think that Pisco is next on my hit list.

Edited by Cachaca_Dave, 27 June 2006 - 11:57 AM.

[Lordof7]

... you only order Jack and Coke out.

(You know, cause you can usually mix your own better.)


EDIT: added:

..... you sweat like a drug smuggler wondering if customs is going to bust you this time for being so far over the limit

Love this one. So true.

Edited by Lordof7, 28 June 2006 - 06:24 AM.

[Alchemist]

You know you are a cocktail geek (I as well don't like snob) when...

...you have three sizes of ice in your freezer an two ice picks and you know how to use them.

...You will talk aboout ice with friends, and perfect strangers for bloody hours, and hours if someone doesn't stop you.

...after making cocktails all week, on you time off you hang out on a web site where they talk about cocktails, or read about cocktails, or go shopping for cocktail accoutramont, or talk about cocktails over cocktails with cocktailians.

...the only way to get you out of the city is to plan a week end with Gary in the country.

[slkinsey]

...talk about cocktails over cocktails with cocktailians.

"slkinsey... this is your life."

[TallDrinkOfWater]

...you've ever asked yourself "what would Audrey do?" (Henceforth known as WWAD)

...you can instantly answer the question "Doc's, Gary's, or Dave's?"

...you've ever spent time wondering a) where you'd put a Kold-Draft machine in your house and b) how you'd justify it to your spouse/SO.

...you're disappointed that your current freezer only goes to -6F.

...you think that, while not the worst thing, a bar's selection of Tanqueray, Tanqueray 10, Bombay, Bombay Sapphire, and Hendricks is predictable, unimaginative, and ultimately disappointing.

...you have more than one type of cocktail stirring spoon so that depending on type of cocktail or shape of ice or size of mixing glass, you can pick the most-appropriate one.

...your simple syrups, homemade grenadines, and various infusions take up more space in the refrigerator than the beer or the milk.

[edit: fixed typo]

Edited by TallDrinkOfWater, 28 June 2006 - 11:34 AM.