I had never met our Austin hosts, Liz and Jeff. Mrs. Fat-Guy had encountered and befriended them on a backpacking trip, and she assured me they were both amiable and -- according to them -- food-savvy. Not that I often doubt Mrs. Fat-Guy, but those who claim to be "totally into food" and the like rarely are. But when Jeff suggested we kick off our Austin food tour with ceviche at a Mexican video store, gastronomic credentials were established beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Our first attempt to secure a portion of ceviche at Acapulco Video, however, ended in failure and humiliation. It was my error in judgment: I thought it was just something you ordered, and they gave it to you. Not so: It is a favor. And a big fat white guy with a goofy smile saying, "Hi! One order of ceviche, please!" is not the ideal candidate for receipt of ceviche in the Acapulco Video scheme of things. Thus, although it was clear that the gentleman at the table nearest the counter was eating ceviche (and enjoying it), we were told rather sternly -- arms folded, head shaking, no eye contact -- "No ceviche."
This is where I should have cut my losses, regrouped, and lived to fight another day. But I was road weary and my judgment was impaired. Stupidly, I challenged: "Well, what's that guy over there eating?"
"No ceviche."
"So, you just ran out? Like, that was the last portion?"
"No ceviche."
"Will you have ceviche tomorrow?"
"No ceviche."
"How about Sunday?"
This last inquiry actually struck a chord because the dour gatekeeper of the ceviche turned around to make eye contact with the even-more-dour big boss standing in the kitchen doorway, who looked at the ground and shook his head.
"No ceviche."
We disengaged, for the time being. On the way out, we examined the selection of Mexican music videos and sombreros.
At least we had no trouble getting plenty of barbecue in and around Austin. (That is, unless you count my inability to understand what anybody in Texas is saying.) And it was good barbecue.
The attempt to define regional barbecue styles rarely yields useful or realistic categories. What you'll most often read about Texas barbecue is that it's beef, specifically brisket. Certainly, this is a convenient categorization, and it has intuitive appeal given that Texas is known as cattle country and there are longhorn steers emblazoned on practically everything in the state, from novelty underwear to the stanchions supporting the highway overpasses. Yet any Texas barbecue place -- even one being run by a grizzled pitmaster selling smoked meat out of a shed -- offers a variety of meats including pork ribs (always, in my experience), sausage (most of the time, and usually referred to as "links" or "hot links"), chicken, and even mutton. The myth of Texas barbecue as beef is similar to the myth of Memphis barbecue as ribs: You go to Memphis and everyplace sells plenty of stuff in addition to ribs. Nor is it a question of authenticity: Pork ribs are as entrenched a part of Texas barbecue as anything made from beef, and I'd hazard a guess that many Texas barbecue establishments -- even the old timers -- sell more pork than beef and have done so for ages.
Stylistic definitions are a bit more insightful, but it may be that there are no clear barbecue definitions anymore (if there ever have been at all). They certainly can't be derived from the menus on offer at barbecue establishments (only about ten percent of a typical barbecue menu will conform to the alleged regional traditions), or from the ordering habits of locals (chicken, which as far as I know has no barbecue tradition behind it and which doesn't make for particularly good barbecue anyway, is a big seller almost everywhere), or from the history books (I suggest you not read about culinary history at all if you want to believe there are very many traditional, local, authentic foods anywhere in the world). Even the much-discussed distinctions between Eastern North Carolina and Western North Carolina barbecue fail to hold up consistently in the real world as you travel across that state. The most authoritative-sounding definitions tend to come from the rulebooks of the regional barbecue associations that administer barbecue competitions, but these hardly seem relevant outside that circumscribed arena.
Still, if Texas barbecue is anything it is pure. Predictably, every state with a barbecue tradition tries to characterize its barbecue as being all about the meat. But in Memphis, for example, there is almost always a great emphasis on sauces and rubs (depending on if you get wet or dry barbecue). In North Carolina, there is the ever-present vinegar-based sauce. In Texas there often is no sauce, no rub, no sprinkling of anything except perhaps salt. It's just meat. If you want sauce, you add it at the table. There may be the occasional dry rub or basted-on sauce, but it is not the baseline style.
So why does Texas barbecue get so little respect? As a theoretical proposition, to the barbecue purist, Texas barbecue should be the most desirable form of barbecue. Yet I don't think I've ever heard anyone outside Texas say Texas barbecue is the best barbecue. So, I'll say it: Texas barbecue is my favorite kind of barbecue because it's the least meddled-with, the most revealing, and also -- though this doesn't affect the taste -- the most fun.
Almost anyplace you go to eat Texas barbecue, you'll find yourself not only dining but also participating in a party. At the Salt Lick Bar B-Q, in Driftwood, it seems as though that party is both the Republican Party and the Democratic Party during convention week. The place is so big, it would be insulting to measure it in football fields. You'd want to jump straight to multiples of New York's Central Park to get the right order of magnitude. I believe 2,000 customers can be accommodated at once between the indoor and outdoor dining facilities, and it seems another 2,000 are waiting on line, and of course in Texas each person arrives individually in his or her own 4x4 truck and takes up two parking spaces.
When you enter the Salt Lick premises, a guy with a gun (it's Texas) directs you to the parking area. Do not, as we did, attempt to unload your passengers and then go park because the guy with the gun (who is an off-duty sheriff's deputy) will scream, "No unloading!" while gesturing towards the sign that says, "No unloading!" You'll also be cautioned, twenty minutes later when you've hiked back from your parking space, not to register with the hostesses unless your party is complete. "Liars will be prosecuted," reads the sign, which I assume is in jest because everybody lies and says there's a complete party waiting to be seated. Given the hour-long wait, it seems a harmless fib.
Seating, whether inside or out, is at picnic tables. If you haven't eaten at three other barbecue places in the same day, the thing to do is order family style. $13.95 per person buys you infinitely replenished platters of brisket, sausage, pork ribs, potato salad, coleslaw, beans, bread, pickles, and onions. You can also just order barbecue plates and sandwiches.
Hays County, where Salt Lick is located, is a dry county -- alcohol is not available for sale. So Salt Lick is strictly BYO, and boy do Texans know how to bring it. Relatively small groups of diners arrive with coolers so large they need wheels to be moveable. This isn't particularly reassuring since everybody dining at Salt Lick had to drive to get there. Certainly, though, it keeps the costs down and allows you to drink whatever you like so long as you're willing to schlep it.
We were joined at Salt Lick, incidentally, by eGullet.com member NewYorkTexan and his wife, who it turns out have -- among others -- a dog named Fluffernutter.
The current owner of Salt Lick is Hisako T. Roberts, who I believe is Japanese and the widow of Thurman Roberts (the co-founder). It is alleged that the recipes and techniques in use at Salt Lick -- which boasts one of the only open-pit barbecues remaining anywhere -- have been handed down from generation to generation in the Roberts family since the Civil War. There is also apparently some sort of Asian influence in the barbecue sauce, but I couldn't detect it.
You'd think with such popularity and so much hoopla (Salt Lick has been written about effusively in GQ, People, and just about everywhere else) the place would be overrated, but it actually produces first-rate, technically correct barbecue that puts most other barbecue to shame. Still, of the barbecue places we tried in and around Austin, Salt Lick was the most generic. I'd go back, but not before I'd go back to Lockhart.
Lockhart, Texas, in the hill country outside Austin, is one of the great centers of barbecue, with allegedly more barbecue per capita -- however that is measured -- than anyplace on Earth. The streets are lined with aircraft-carrier-sized barbecue barns, each of which seems to be owned by the former co-owner of the place next door who had a fight with his or her former partners (usually relatives) and set up a solo operation.
At the advice of our hosts, we chose Smitty's Market, though Kreuz Market and Black's Barbecue came highly recommended as well. At Smitty's, you line up near the pit (a brick-lined trench with smoke feeding in from coal pits on the side) and interact directly with the incomprehensible pitmaster. He places a double layer of brown butcher paper on a scale and mumbles something at you. By pointing, gesturing, and saying "Huh?" a lot, you can pretty much negotiate a meal and know what most of the stuff you're eating is. Upon completion of the weighing transaction, the guy throws a loaf or so of sliced white bread on your barbecue and you go over to another counter where you pay by the pound and acquire side dishes, drinks, and condiments.
Smitty's illustrated another reason I like Texas barbecue the best: It's usually not overcooked, in part it seems because it is cooked at higher temperatures than most other styles of barbecue. This makes eminent sense. The whole idea of barbecue -- as well as most of the old methods of preserving and slow cooking -- in days of yore was to take tough, undesirable cuts of meat and make them tender. It also had the secondary goal, to be sure, of masking the taste of borderline-rancid meat. And, as a variant of smoking, it acted as an antiseptic and a method of preservation. None of this is necessary anymore. We no longer smoke meat to preserve it or to make is safe and chewable, just as we no longer make wine to preserve grapes or cheese to preserve milk. We do these things, in the present day, only because they make food taste good. And to make food taste good, you want to apply a lot less smoke to it than would be necessary to sterilize it and break it down into mush. So, now that we have safe, tender, refrigerated meat available to us year-round, why smoke anything longer and slower than it has to be smoked? As long as the smoky flavor gets in there, why not also enjoy meat that isn't overcooked? Even with tougher cuts like brisket, where some extended cooking is necessary in order to break down the collagen, there is an ideal point of doneness that is reached far in advance of when most barbecue places pull the meat off the heat.
As an example, perhaps the best piece of barbecued anything I've had anywhere ever was a piece of prime rib at Smitty's. We arrived early in the day, and the pitmaster warned us through a series of grunts that the prime rib was still a little rare. But when we indicated that we were game for rare meat, and asked him, "How rare is it?" he replied with his longest sentence of the day: "I'd eat it." Well, you haven't lived until you've had medium-rare barbecued prime rib. Imagine all the goodness of medium-rare prime rib combined with the smoky flavor of real pit barbecue. It's difficult to improve on that combination.
At Sam's barbecue in Austin I had the rare opportunity to try barbecued mutton. Mutton turns out to be a meat ideally suited for barbecue, because it has a robust gamy flavor and plenty of fat. The caramelized exterior bits of the mutton get crunchy and sweet, while the meat becomes infused with juicy fat. Mutton is all I'd get at Sam's, though -- the other barbecue was tough and dry.

The only barbecue place we visited that had nothing particularly great on offer was the Iron Works downtown. Although picturesque, and not bad (it would be the best barbecue place in town in any non-barbecue area of the country), the barbecue tended towards chewiness. Perhaps it was an off night.
At some point during our Austin feeding frenzy, we made a second attempt at obtaining the ceviche at Acapulco Video. But it seems that, despite the store's lengthy hours of operation, the same gentleman always works the cash register at the Acapulco Video food counter. And he remembered us. "No ceviche," he stated emphatically, even though once again it was clear that at least one customer was eating the stuff. As a concession, because we had at least earned some respect by taking a second stab at the ceviche challenge, he motioned to a series of glass jugs on the counter containing various fluorescent colored substances and inquired, "Drink?"
We purchased a colorful drink, but it brought us no closer to ceviche-worthy status. We seriously considered finding a kid in the parking lot and sending him in to get ceviche on our behalf. We half seriously considered paying the guy who was eating the ceviche to give us a taste. We one quarter seriously considered the purchase of a piñata, which we would have lashed to the front of the van for the remainder of the road trip. We also noticed, in the section of the store (a mega-store, really) nearest the back wall, a peerless collection of rear-illuminated paintings-on-glass. These tasteful and subtle works of art, through clever manipulation of light, would give the appearance of waterfalls falling, hummingbirds' wings fluttering, traffic patterns progressing through Manhattan at night, and such. Each also offered a sound effect, such as running water or chirping birds. The effect of all these paintings taken together was quite harmonious.
In Texas, Mexican food is as much a way of life as barbecue, and my recent experience in Austin was thankfully free of Tex-Mex glop. Although the unfortunate Tex-Mex style of pseudo-Mexican cuisine is available all over Texas (and has regrettably defined a large percentage of Mexican restaurants across the country including in New York), Texas is still blessed with more real Mexican restaurants than you can shake a stick at. As much as I'd like to say that Mexican cuisine in New York City is improving (and it is), it is nonetheless the case that tiny Austin has approximately ten times as many good Mexican restaurants as New York, a city approximately ten times its size.
In particular, I enjoyed the widespread availability of excellent Mexican breakfast food. The egg-and-potato taco, ubiquitous in Austin, would be my favorite breakfast snack were a good rendition available back home. Loca Maria's Taco Xpress, which has perched atop its entryway a statue of Maria looking to all the world like Xena, Warrior Princess, the humble egg-and-potato taco is elevated to culinary stardom by the addition of a variety of freshly made salsas. The salsas are presented in large bowls and you have to fight the crowd to get at them, plus there's a sanitary regulation in effect that prevents you from spooning salsa directly onto your taco (you must instead place it in little plastic cups and transfer it to your taco). But it's worth the struggle.
Tacos in Texas, unlike in New York, are soft-shell tacos. And we had quite a few good ones all over town. Even a basic Mexican grocery store like La Michoacana Carneceria has stellar tacos available from a counter up front, for about a dollar, including crispy-juicy fried pork and a wicked-hot cactus taco that I didn't try but that gave Jeff pause.

Las Manitas Avenue Café is a downtown Austin institution, and is known for treating its workers well. Breakfast dishes are more involved than just tacos, everything I tried was good, and dining outside on the patio is a great way to pass the time.
We attempted to dine at Taqueria Arandas #2, but it was closed seemingly forever. Instead of seeking out #1 or #3, our hosts made the executive decision to demote us to Taqueria Arandas #5. There was no apparent loss of quality, however, and I even ordered in Spanish -- no doubt triggering fits of giggles among the waitstaff after we departed.
Another nice thing about being surrounded by Mexican grocery stores is that you always have access to Coke and Pepsi imported from Mexico, where it is still made with real cane sugar and not nasty-tasting high-fructose corn syrup. I had one at La Mexicana, along with a number of unfortunate Mexican pastries.
We didn't make it to the acclaimed Fonda San Miguel restaurant, opting instead to try more cheap Mexican and barbecue, but I have it on good authority that Fonda San Miguel is Austin's upscale Mexican restaurant par excellence. I'd like to try it someday.
Due to the insane pace of our schedule, we had made it clear across Louisiana without stopping for a single crayfish boil. Luckily, the mudbugs caught up with us at Robbie's Cajun Kitchen in Austin, where there was a crayfish boil event in progress just in time for our visit. Impeccable crayfish were going for $4 a pound.


Austin is also blessed with an impressive local ice cream culture, which is fortunate given the oppressive heat. Not only is Austin hot like the rest of Texas, but also it's humid like Louisiana. For soft ice cream, the connoisseur's choice is Sandy's, where the frozen custard has that old-fashioned taste that has been stamped out by the likes of Dairy Queen (though DQ will do in a pinch). For real ice cream, though, a place called Amy's serves some of the creamiest, richest ice cream I've tasted -- certainly a notch up from Ben & Jerry's on the creaminess scale. My only objection: Some of the examples, such as the mint chip, are so heavily infused with their flavorings that the taste of the ice cream itself is masked.
We enjoyed Austin very much, and found it to be an oasis within Texas. It is more akin to Burlington, Vermont, or Asheville, North Carolina, or even Berkeley, California, than it is to the rest of Texas -- plus you get barbecue. As an added bonus, Momo met a girlfriend -- Liz and Jeff's next-door neighbor's dog, Jessie -- and, despite their altered conditions, they spent most of the long weekend humping one another. Liz and Jeff's dog, Okemah, wasn’t quite as fond of Momo, but she politely tolerated him.
So, Austin is a great place to dine, to live, and to have a dog. Despite our best efforts, though, I never did get to try the ceviche at Acapulco Video. But I'll be back.
Places We Ate
Iron Works Barbecue
100 Red River
Austin, TX
(512) 478.4855
www.ironworksbbq.com
La Michoacana Carneceria
1917-1 E. Seventh
Austin, TX
(512) 473-8487
Loca Maria's Taco Xpress
2529 S. Lamar Blvd
Austin, TX
(512) 444-0261
Sam's Bar-B-Cue
2000 E. 12th
Austin, TX
(512) 478-0378
Las Manitas Avenue Cafe
211 Congress Ave.
Austin, TX
(512) 472-9357
Salt Lick
P. O. Box 311
Driftwood, TX
(512) 894.3117
www.saltlickbbq.com
Sandy's Hamburgers
603 Barton Springs Rd.
Austin, TX
(512) 478-6322
Smitty's Market
208 S. Commerce
Lockhart, TX
(512) 398-9344
Taqueria Arandas #5
2448 S. 1st
Austin, TX
(512) 707-0887
Amy's Ice Cream
1012 W. 6th
Austin, TX
(512) 480-0673
Robbie's Cajun Kitchen
1203 W. 6th
Austin, TX
(512) 477-7768
La Mexicana
1924 S. 1st
Austin, TX
(512) 443-6369
Places We Didn't Eat
Acapulco Video
2009 E. 6th
Austin, TX
(512) 482-0215
Fonda San Miguel
2330 W. North Loop
Austin, TX
(512) 459-4121
www.fondasanmiguel.com
A good resource for all things Austin is the Austin Chronicle Website at www.austinchronicle.com
Photos by Ellen R. Shapiro









