95 replies to this topic

[rwsweet]

What do you think is the most useless kitchen utensil or product? Be creative and don't hold back.

Mine would have to be the shaker tops that are put on basically all spice jars. All these things ever do is get in the way. I'm looking forward to everyone else's thoughts.

[Pierogi]

Ohhhhhhh, so many, so many.......I'm sure more will come to me, probably as I'm trying to go to sleep tonight........

Totally agree on the shaker top thingies. In that same category would be the drizzly-top inserts on bottles of sauces (soy, Worchestershire, fish, etc.) and vinegars. Right into the trash they go.

The onion "slicing guides", avocado slicers/skinners (sort of look like a harp) and the "knuckle guard" I see in high end cookware catalogs. The slicing guides look like a large set of salad tongs, and you're supposed to grasp the onions in the cups, and slice between the fingers. I think they market them for tomatoes as well. One word.......WHY? Sure would be hard on your knife edge !

Same thing with the avocado slicer/skinner thing. How hard is it to peel and slice an avocado?

And the knuckle guard just looks damn dangerous. It's a metal THING you slip your index, middle and ring fingers into, and supposedly you won't knick yourself from big old mean Mr. Knife. Me, all I can see is me catching Mr. Knife in the top of it, and slicing all the skin off those three fingers from the middle knuckle on down.

Oh, and the thing that looks like 5 or 6 thin spikes set into a wood handle that you use to grab the onion while you're slicing.

Shrimp peelers/deveiners. Again, how hard is it to peel a shrimp?

Garlic slicers. 'Nuff said.

[jumanggy]

I've been thinking of something that is truly useless, but it looks like the best I could come up with is "hindrance/ annoying." Agreed on the shaker tops and slicing guides. I've always thought multiple fancy whisk designs made little sense, but then again I've never used a non-balloon whisk. I just hate clutter (I have enough problems as it is keeping all my pans in order).

From the pastry side: pie weights. They're uneven, heavy, and leave pockmarks on pie crusts.
For me at least, egg timers or even regular tick-tock timers. Digital timers are a step up, but I'm always with my cellphone, so I always use it to time my baking, set alarms, etc. The bonus is that it also is my calculator.

[Dr. Teeth]

I don't really have a problem with the worthless plastic things, they don't clutter my kitchen and I didn't pay $ 70 for them. My list of worthless things would look like:

1) 85% of cooking knives after you already own a chef's knife, bread knife and paring knife.

2) 85% of pots and pans after you have the basics

3) Those cutting mats you roll out that every cooking magazine said were a must have 3-4 years ago. Not sure what they were good for other than blunting my knives.

4) Cutting boards smaller than 8' x 11'

5) The old fashioned pasta tongs that my mom had, the ones that kinda work like a scissors.

6) Wooden spoons. Ok, flame me but I don't understand why anyone would use one when a perfectly good plastic cooking spoons are made by Mafter and other companies.

[zoe b]

haha--I can answer this as I have a drawerful of them--my mom gives one to me for Christmas every year!

Let's see, mushroom brushes, the infamous bagel slicer, I think I got an english muffin slicer, too, that year, the lemon zester that's supposed to peel a thin strip fom a lemon and doesn't, any number of vegetable peelers that don't work, a garlic press, an egg slicer--I can come up with more later....

[mkayahara]

The owner of a local kitchenwares store once held up an item for me and said that, if I could guess what it was, I could have one for free. Turned out it was a grape peeler. (Apparently she bought them simply because she thought they were so absurd.)

I guessed wrong, so I imagine I'll never know if it would be useful! But somehow, I doubt it.

[Terrasanct]

The Eggstractor. Because if you're not smart enough to peel a hard-boiled egg, trying to get this thing to work should be a breeze.

[Reignking]

I saw an avocado scoop in a recent Williams & Sonoma catalog, but I can't find it on their site now.

I guess spoons are too difficult to use?

[feedmec00kies]

dr teeth - i also hate wooden spoons. i actually hate most wooden kitchen tools (it's an obsessive-compulsive, germaphobe kind of thing.. not to mention that i'd imagine the flavors themselves would get absorbed by the spoon). i was cooking with my boyfriend at his house and asked for a spatula and he pointed to the wooden spoon-tula (half spoon, half retarted-looking spatula) that he had already started using and i gave him a look of "what the...! no!" but gave in because he wouldn't give me something better..

zoe b - i don't mind those egg slicers, they're great for making egg salad really fast, but i wouldn't buy one especially unless i needed to dice that many hardboiled eggs

mkayahara - you don't need a device to peel grapes, you just get some slaves/scantily clad women, like back in the good ol' days of rome!

and i second/third anyone who mentioned the avocado slicer thing. those things are ridiculous (a picture here, for those fortunate enough not to know of them) they also had special "lettuce knives" and "tomato slicers" (in the vein of the avocado slicer) in the produce section of wegmans, and i always wondered how many of those they actually managed to sell.

i also have to say that the oxo angled measuring cups are really absurd to me. but worse still are the /stainless steel/ liquid measuring cups, because i'd hope that people know that the proper way to measure liquids requires looking at the meniscus at eye level!

and those jar openers! (sorry, i'm not ripping on oxo.. they make some very good tools, but i already happen to be at their page and i knew they sold those things)

i also think those things that chop your veggies for you are completely ridiculous (in the vein of "as see on tv!" gadgetry). that may be because i'm veeeery particular about how my vegetables are cut (to the point that friends have teased me about using protractors and rulers), but come on! one size of dice does not fit all! and i don't mind the smell of garlic or onions on my hands, thank-you-very-much.

[feedmec00kies]

I saw an avocado scoop in a recent Williams & Sonoma catalog, but I can't find it on their site now.

here it is!

man, conspicuous consumption really does a number on a person, as far as useless objects. for every good thing williams sonoma seems to sell, there's also another completely useless thing... like this "Mini Burger Press" (it's new! my days of slaving over mini burgers is over! )

Edited by feedmec00kies, 30 July 2007 - 12:57 PM.

[JohnRov]

-the onion slicer with the fingers
-this crazy "whisk" my wife has that is kind of like a spring
-this can-sized strainer so you can drain canned goods

But I LOVE wooden spoons. I don't know why, it just seems that using a wooden spoon is what my grandma would have used to stir tomato sauce. Total nostalgia for me.

[Reignking]

I saw an avocado scoop in a recent Williams & Sonoma catalog, but I can't find it on their site now.

here it is!

That's actually not it -- the scoop was long like that, but had a spoon at the bottom, for scooping. I really need to find this...

[phaelon56]

6) Wooden spoons.  Ok, flame me but I don't understand why anyone would use one when a perfectly good plastic cooking spoons are made by Mafter and other companies.

I won't flame you but I will vehemently disagree.

There are wooden spoons made from a cheap and fairly porous wood that doesn't have a fine and smooth surface - yuck. (and they probably contribute to the ongoing loss of rain forest)

Then there are far more finely crafted spoons and wooden spatulas made from harder denser wood. They have smoother surfaces, more well defined edges and over time, with periodic applications of mineral oil, become smooth and warm like that great old wooden cutting board you'll (or I) will never give up. To me there's something warm. organic and natural feeling about a good wooden tool.

Plastic: Yeah.... I know.... they make plastic that doesn't melt or burn as quickly as it used to... yada yada yada. I just don't like the way it feels. With few exceptions I'll always opt for stainless steel, wood or some combination of the two for my utensils (the exceptions being the rubber/plastic blade spatula I use to get batter out of a bowl and the silicone blade spatula I use to work and turn omelets.)

[Dr. Teeth]

mkayahara - you don't need a device to peel grapes, you just get some slaves/scantily clad women, like back in the good ol' days of rome! 

Again I may be an iconoclast here but, I have mixed feelings about scantily clad women in the kitchen. While not uni-taskers I find the same problem exists with scantily clad women as with chef's knives -- when you have too many, they just get in the way. There just isn't that much grape peeling, fanning with ostrich plumes and cooing apreaciatively that needs to be done.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Miracle Thaw ranks high in the money wasters category ...

the Salad Shooter was used briefly before being stashed away for posterity ....

Truffle Shavers are useless unless you use a million truffles at home ...

a little rubber tube that "peels" garlic cloves ...put the cloves inside and massage the tube ... peeled garlic comes out .. seems useless to me .. I just smack garlic with my cleaver blade and get the same result ...

and then there is the much maligned shrimp deveiner which one can do with a simple small sharp knife ... but that is so yesterday!

[zoe b]

Gifted Gourmet said--

"Miracle Thaw ranks high in the money wasters category ..."

I was just looking at this at the thrift store the other day and thinking wha????

"the Salad Shooter was used briefly before being stashed away for posterity ...."

I'll tell you a use for the salad shooter--I'm a soapmaker, and the salad shooter is fab at shredding soap--which I occasionally need to do--you can make confetti shreds in different colors and add them to a new batch of soap--it's very pretty.

and there is always one at the thrift store.

"Truffle Shavers are useless unless you use a million truffles at home ..."

it does get rahther exhausting slicing all those truffles by hand.....

"a little rubber tube that "peels" garlic cloves ...put the cloves inside and massage the tube ... peeled garlic comes out .. seems useless to me .. I just smack garlic with my cleaver blade and get the same result ...

and then there is the much maligned shrimp deveiner which one can do with a simple small sharp knife ... but that is so yesterday!

"

yeah, these last two are silly--I'm sure I'll be getting one for christmas--or maybe a garlic roaster--for those who have never heard of tin foil!

[rwsweet]

feedmec00kies, I'm right there with you on the vegetable chopper things. My girlfriend's stepmom got here one of those onion chopper boxes, which we have never used (I think it ended up shipped off to one of her brothers going to college). I've never had anyone tease me about my dice, but I definitely cringe every time I read a recipe calling for chopping veggies in a food processor.

[jsmeeker]

I like wood spoons.. But I have been interested in those Mafter ones. Are they plastic? or are they some sort of silicone? I even have a set of ultra cheap wooden spoons I picked up at a grocery store one day when I fogot to pack something to stir drinks with. (I was playing bartender in a hotel room for some friends). But I really don't like them. the wood sucks. I wind up using them to stir coffee in my french press coffee pot.


I have a lot of pots and pans for a small apartment, but I pretty much use all of them. The nice thing about having three sauce pans is the ability to have two or maybe all three going on the stove at once. Or have two going on the stove to make dinner with the third one in the sink, waiting to be washed since breakfast in the morning.

I have duplicates of several other utensils, too. Sometimes I need to handle more than one thing while cooking and other times, one is dirty, so it's good to have a clean one at the ready.

[srhcb]

dr teeth - i also hate wooden spoons. i actually hate most wooden kitchen tools (it's an obsessive-compulsive, germaphobe kind of thing.. not to mention that i'd imagine  the flavors themselves would get absorbed by the spoon).

I love wooden spoons! Stirring a good sugo or marinara with anything other than wood is sacreligious!

you don't need a device to peel grapes, you just get some slaves/scantily clad women, like back in the good ol' days of rome! 

I recently peeled grapes FOR a scantily clad female! (okay, she was 11 months old )

[Pierogi]

and those jar openers!

Actually, for those of us with weak and or achy hands (I have pretty severe rheumatoid arthritis, and my knuckles and wrists are among my most affected joints) those things are a Godsend....there are some jars/bottles that I would not be able to get into without one of these guys.

[Fugu]

and those jar openers!

Actually, for those of us with weak and or achy hands (I have pretty severe rheumatoid arthritis, and my knuckles and wrists are among my most affected joints) those things are a Godsend....there are some jars/bottles that I would not be able to get into without one of these guys.

I agree! Even those angled dudads with large handles were created for arthritic people. I know how you feel.

[mkayahara]

i don't mind those egg slicers, they're great for making egg salad really fast, but i wouldn't buy one especially unless i needed to dice that many hardboiled eggs

But why buy an egg slicer when a pastry cutter will do?

What, you think a pastry cutter is silly, too?

Also, I have to place myself firmly in the pro-wooden spoon camp. (Indeed, wasn't there a recent thread extolling the virtues of the humble wooden spoon?) Sure, plastic might not melt on you, but you don't want to find out minutes before serving your guests that the plastic spoon you accidentally left in your ragu bolognese is one of those cheap ones that will melt.

And I never cease to be amazed at the number of dedicated tools out there that would have no reason to exist if every household had a good, sharp chef's knife and a modicum of knowledge of how to use it.

Edited by mkayahara, 31 July 2007 - 05:37 AM.

[Dr. Teeth]

Also, I have to place myself firmly in the pro-wooden spoon camp. (Indeed, wasn't there a recent thread extolling the virtues of the humble wooden spoon?) Sure, plastic might not melt on you, but you don't want to find out minutes before serving your guests that the plastic spoon you accidentally left in your ragu bolognese is one of those cheap ones that will melt.

Absurd. The equivalent of saying we should all buy slicers with round tips rather than pointed because nothing is more embarassing than tripping minutes before your guests arrive and running the knife through your intestine.

I've run one of the new fiberglass spoons through an open flame and not had it melt.

And they are cheaper. And they last longer. And they can be put through a dishwasher. And they don't pick up funky smells. Or funky stains. Or get fuzzy.

My larger point, however, is that there is a 'foodie,' perspective that leads us, and I do include myself in this, to scoff at kitchen gizmos while at the same time seeing a 3rd $100 japanese chef's knife as the high of practicality.

[mkayahara]

Also, I have to place myself firmly in the pro-wooden spoon camp. (Indeed, wasn't there a recent thread extolling the virtues of the humble wooden spoon?) Sure, plastic might not melt on you, but you don't want to find out minutes before serving your guests that the plastic spoon you accidentally left in your ragu bolognese is one of those cheap ones that will melt.

Absurd. The equivalent of saying we should all buy slicers with round tips rather than pointed because nothing is more embarassing than tripping minutes before your guests arrive and running the knife through your intestine.

I've run one of the new fiberglass spoons through an open flame and not had it melt.

And they are cheaper. And they last longer. And they can be put through a dishwasher. And they don't pick up funky smells. Or funky stains. Or get fuzzy.

My larger point, however, is that there is a 'foodie,' perspective that leads us, and I do include myself in this, to scoff at kitchen gizmos while at the same time seeing a 3rd $100 japanese chef's knife as the high of practicality.

Now, now. No need to get snarky!

Anyway, I think your comparison of leaving a plastic spoon in a pot to tripping and running yourself through with a knife is less than apt. I suspect I'm much more likely to do one than the other.

And I had no idea there was such a thing as a fiberglass spoon. How would I go about identifying such a beast in the wild? That's at the root of my issue with plastic: most store clerks can't tell me with certainty whether the spoon (or spatula, or whatever) they're selling me is made of nylon, plastic, fiberglass or Martian moon rock. At least with wood, I know what I'm getting, and the worst the bad ones can do is get ruined themselves, rather than ruining my meal. But maybe we're on the wrong thread for this discussion.

Finally, I'm assuming your "larger point" isn't aimed at me, since it doesn't address anything I said: I was the one defending wooden spoons, which another poster had identified as a useless tool!

[Peter Green]

6) Wooden spoons.  Ok, flame me but I don't understand why anyone would use one when a perfectly good plastic cooking spoons are made by Mafter and other companies.

What do you discipline your kids with!

[srhcb]

And (plastic etc spoons) are cheaper(than wooden spoons).

For good reason, as far as I'm concerned anyway.

And they last longer.

Perhaps? But I have several wooden spoons that are so old I can't even tell you how long they've lasted so far.

And they can be put through a dishwasher.

I never put any of my cooking equipment in the dishwasher.

And they don't pick up funky smells.  Or funky stains.  Or get fuzzy.

Good quality wooden utensils don't have these problems. (at least they don't if you keep them put of the dishwasher )

Poor quality anything, including plastic spoons, are a bad deal.

[Toliver]

The OXO Wooden Spoon rocks! You can also find them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. They've redesigned it so you can really get some good torque when you are stirring thick batters or dough. It has a larger bowl and the handle is thicker in the right places.
Who'da thunk a wooden spoon could be better?

[maggiethecat]

My barding needle. I've had it forever -- decades -- and used it once. Maybe. Luckily it doesn't take up much space.

[zoe b]

peter green said

What do you discipline your kids with!



OWWW--this brings back painful memories of getting rapped on the top of my head as a kid--my mom wielded a mean wooden spoon.

I was a wimpy parent--my kids knew I didn't believe in corporal punishment so when I threatened that I was getting my spanking hand ready they laughed at me.


feedmec00kies said

i don't mind those egg slicers, they're great for making egg salad really fast, but i wouldn't buy one especially unless i needed to dice that many hardboiled eggs.


I dunno--it's not a bad tool, but it seems to me that by the time you find the slicer in your clutter drawer you could chop 2 dozen eggs, and one less thing to wash--which is a goal at all times for me....

Edited by zoe b, 31 July 2007 - 10:41 AM.

[Zeemanb]

How about the hunk o' plain stainless steel that is sold as a miracle product to get the smell of garlic and onion off of your hands? Saw one in a kitchen store last year for ten or twelve bucks.